Trying Not To Love You
by notjaneausten
Summary: Featuring the good ship CARYL! Daryl and Merle Dixon have been trying to protect Carol and Sophia from Ed's abusive behaviour ever since they arrived at the camp but during a scavenging mission in Atlanta Ed says the wrong thing to Daryl and the new arrival 'Officer Friendly' steps in to take control. Based on every episode so far with a few tweaks here , rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWD; MERELY BORROWING THEM FOR A WHILE; I MAY PUT THEM BACK...OR I MAY NOT!**

**AN: This story was inspired by the Nickleback song 'Trying Not To Love You' and it got me thinking about all of those moments where Daryl seems to be trying so hard not to reveal his feelings - and failing miserably...**

It was at the camp near the quarry that he first noticed her; a quiet woman following in her husband's shadow. She always seemed to be at Ed's beck and call and he'd wondered at first what the appeal was – until he started to look closer and noticed that although she was always at Ed's side it wasn't through choice at all. He swallowed the bitter sting of the acid rising at the back of his throat when he noticed the slight bruising that appeared on her arms – always after Ed had been sullen the night before. He wanted to say something back always held back, knowing that it wasn't his place; that he had no rights at all where she or the girl were concerned.

He wasn't the only one to notice though, his brother came bursting into the tent one evening all snarls and bristles.

"Caught that little shit pickin' on little mousey again…something about the coffee not being strong enough this time…He was nearly about to pour the pot over her hands when I came up behind him….Oooohhh he nearly crapped his pants when I whispered a little warning in his ear…" The elder Dixon brother slapped his hands on his thighs and laughed uproariously at the memory. When Daryl made no remark Merle kicked at his feet at the bottom of the sleeping bag. "Hey, 'lil brother are you even listenin' ta me? I said…"

"Jesus, Merle….I ain't deaf and I sure as Hell ain't sleepin' no more either…I think the whole camp heard ya…" Daryl sat up in the sleeping bag and ran his hands over his shaggy hair; blinking sleepily at where Merle was sitting crosslegged near the opening of the tent staring in the direction of the Peletier tent.

"So, what are we gonna do about it?"

"About what?" Daryl absently scratched at the scruff that was beginning to show through on his cheek and cracked an almighty yawn.

"Little Mousey and the asshole…who did you think I meant? I tell ya, Daryl – it just ain't right, it ain't right at all." Both men had suffered at the hands of an abusive father and the thought of a hulking brute like Ed laying his hands on a sweetly, shy little thing like Carol had them both feeling sick at the thought. Carol was a slender woman of indeterminate years; Daryl had overheard her mention to Jacqui in passing that her hair had started to turn grey when she was in her late twenties so it was hard to tell just by looking at her what age she was. She had the smooth skin of a young woman, but her eyes held the wisdom and sorrow of an old soul. Merle had nicknamed her 'Mousey' because of the colour of her hair, saying that it reminded him of a pet mouse that he'd had once; not silver and not quite grey but somewhere in between.

"Do ya think that anyone else knows about how he treats her?" Daryl pulled on a ripped t-shirt realising that Merle was not going to let him go back to sleep until they had talked it out.

"Some of the women maybe….Shane's too busy sniffing around that Lori woman to even notice."

"Shame he cain't meet with an 'accident' whilst out on a run," Daryl made air quotes as he met his brother's eyes and saw that Merle was smirking back in his direction.

"I like the way you think sometimes, 'lil brother, think I might just suggest to the Chinky that we bring Ed along with us tomorrow when we hit the City for supplies."

"He's Korean," Daryl corrected his brother for what must have been the hundredth time, only for Merle to smirk as if to say 'just yanking your chain'. Daryl sighed, knowing that he would always fall for it, Merle was just Merle. "Might be worth comin' along just to see that…"  
"The more the merrier, brother." Merle tipped Daryl a wink before slipping silently back out of the tent and disappearing into the fading darkness. Daryl threw back the covers of the sleeping bag and pulled on a pair of Khaki's, reasoning that if he couldn't sleep then he might as well go and start a pot of coffee instead. He zipped himself up and stepped out of the tent, scanning the lightening horizon for signs of any movements that were out of the ordinary.

"Morning, Daryl…can't sleep?" A low, sweet voice from beside the low burning embers of the fire pit had him whirling around to see Carol sitting on a log unhooking the coffee pot from where it hung over a trivet. She poured out another cup and added just a dash of sugar before handing it over to him. Their fingers brushed as he wrapped a hand around the mug and he smiled faintly in thanks.

"Naw…had an early morning visitor that didn't seem to care whether I was asleep or awake," Daryl took a seat next to her on the log and they sipped in companionable silence.

"Let me take a wild guess, Merle?" At Daryl's nod, Carol gave a light, tinkling laugh, which sent shivers racing down his spine; it was a rare thing indeed to see Carol even smile lately; so to hear her laugh was like having all of his Christmas and Birthdays all rolled into one. "I saw him sitting outside of our tent last night, keeping guard I guess…it wasn't needed, but tell him thanks all the same."

"How about you? Why you up so early?"

"You know for a tracker you're not really all that observant are you?" Carol smiled again as she sipped her coffee slowly, Daryl's raised a single eyebrow in question and Carol waved a hand around the camp. "Did you think that magic fairies come in every morning wave their wands and breakfast just magically appears? I've always been an early riser – I get up and stoke the fire, put the coffee on; make a start on breakfast and sort out the laundry."

"How come I never saw you out here before?"

"You probably just never noticed…I've seen you and Merle go out some mornings and you have a rhythm together; completely focused on the task ahead – there could have been a parade of girls on the run from the Playboy mansion and the two of you would probably not even noticed them either."

"Huh- wouldn't be too sure about that…I seem to remember Merle having a thing for Miss July a few years ago…something tells me that he wouldn't be too quick on passing that by." Daryl murmured into his mug and felt Carol giggle against his shoulder. "So, are you and Soph okay after last night? That ass…Ed – didn't hurt you?" Daryl bit his tongue as he was about to call her husband an asshole right in front of her.

"Yeah, we're okay for now…He's getting worse though Daryl. I'm not afraid for me, God knows I've been through worse with him…" Carol felt Daryl stiffen against her side and muttered an apology as she moved slightly away. "God, Daryl…I'm sorry…I _really_ didn't intend to bring that up in conversation. I don't know what's got me running off at the mouth like that." Carol held up a hand to her mouth, shocked at her own forthright speaking.

"'S okay…what did you mean? You afraid for Soph? Merle and me…well, we ain't gonna let anything happen to you or your little girl." Daryl placed his mug on the ground and nudged Carol's shoulder with his own. He splayed his hand out on his thigh, tapping his fingers nervously and was startled when Carol quickly patted his hand with her own before placing it back in her lap.

"Thanks, Daryl and thank your brother for me too…that was the best night's sleep that Sophia and I have had in weeks." Daryl's cheeks flushed at the compliment and the slight caress of her fingers against his own. He swallowed hard at the lump that appeared to be blocking his throat and coughed slightly to clear it.

"Ed's going out on the run today with Merle, Glenn, Me and a few of the others. It's about time that he started pulling his weight around her. We'll leave Shane and Dale behind to keep an eye on things around here." Daryl saw that Carol was biting her lip anxiously and gently placed a hand on her arm to comfort her. "Hey, what's got you all gnarled up aller sudden?"

"He won't like it, Daryl and he'll take it out on me and Sophia when he gets back tonight."

"No, he won't – not with Me and Merle around, we won't let him," before Daryl even quite knew what he was doing he'd pressed a fleeting kiss against Carol's cheek; and felt her jerk back slightly in surprise. "Shit! Sorry, Carol don't even know what the Hell I was thinkin'…..sorry." Daryl bolted off into the forest leaving Carol sitting rubbing her fingers against the spot that he had kissed, and staring off into space with a wistful expression on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Former Deputy Sheriff Rick Grimes was in a pile of shit so deep that he couldn't ever see a way out. He'd ridden into the city on a borrowed horse and found himself swarmed by a herd of hungry Walkers looking for their next meal. He'd dropped the Sheriff bag containing his rifles and shotguns and clambered his way into an armoured tank that was just sitting in the middle of the street.

The world had completely gone crazy whilst he was in a coma after being shot in the line of duty. He had woken up to find the hospital deserted and parking lot full of dead bodies. He had made his way back to his own neighbourhood, bobbing and weaving on his feet; still recovering from his wounds and dizzy from being unconscious for so long. He stumbled into his own home calling for Lori and his son, Carl; he barely noticed that all of the picture frames and photo albums had been removed from the house before stumbling outside to collapse on the front lawn. A man named Morgan had picked him up off the street and given him the rundown on how things had come to be.

Once he had woken again, Rick remembered the lack of pictures at his house and came to the conclusion that his wife and son were still alive out there somewhere. He had taken Morgan and his son Duane, down to the Sheriff office and between them they had cleared out the gun cage. Rick vowed to call Morgan every day from his Walkie and that they would soon meet in Atlanta.

Well, Rick was now in Atlanta and he sure as Hell wished that he wasn't. A crackle from the CB radio in the tank had him crawling over to reach it.

"Hey, you in the tank…you comfortable in there?"

"Hello? Can you see me?" Rick thumbed the mike and waited for a response.

"Yeah, I can see you, dumbass."  
"What's it like out there?"  
"Most of the Walkers are feeding on that horse you rode in on, there's only one on the roof and you could take him out easily. You armed?"

"Yeah, Beretta with one clip and fifteen rounds."

"Okay, you need to make a run for it. Get out of the tank and make a run for the alley directly behind you. I'll be there waiting."

Rick climbed over the body of a fallen soldier, removing a grenade from the soldier's uniform pocket as he did so. He opened the door gingerly and immediately took down the Walker about to lunge for him. Rick rolled down the side of the tank and raced for the alley to be met by a young Asian man waiting impatiently for him. They raced down the alley and took hold of a fire escape ladder and quickly climbed up to a platform, pulling the ladder back up with them

"Nice moves there Clint Eastwood, you the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?" Glenn ran his gaze over the other man's stained tan uniform.

"That wasn't my intention," Rick drawled back, scanning the surrounding area for any signs of the helicopter that had drew him into the City in the first place.

"Whatever, you're still a dumbass." Glenn huffed and looked at the man again, something about him was very familiar but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"The name's Rick, and thank you."

"Glenn, and you're welcome….aaaawww Shit!" They looked down to see the stumbling and groaning Walkers swarming the alleyway and blocking their escape route. Glenn looked above to see a thin metal ladder extending up to the roof. "Bright side it will be the fall that kills us. Hey what can I say, I'm a glass half full kinda guy." They climbed up the ladder and ran across the City rooftops before climbing down into a department store loading bay.

Glenn's companions; Morales and T Dog ran out wearing riot gear and started to take down the Walkers in the area so that Rick and Glenn could enter the store; where they were greeted by two women, Jacqui and Andrea. Andrea pulled out a pistol and rounded on Rick threateningly.

"Well done…we're all dead now because of you!"

"Andrea, back off." Glenn tried to calm the almost hysterical woman waving a handgun in the Sheriff's face, he could see that Rick was trying but failing to grasp the situation.

"I don't understand…" Rick began only to be cut off by Morales who ripped the riot gear over his head and started to roughly shove the other man out into the store so that he could see exactly what they were up against.

"We came into the city to scavenge supplies," Morales explained leading Rick through the dim confines of the empty clothing store. "You know what the key to scavenging is – surviving. You know what the key to surviving is – keeping quiet, sneaking in and out; tiptoe – not shooting up the streets like it's the OK corral."

"Every Walker for miles around heard you shooting off rounds," the rumbling voice from a large black man came from behind Rick.  
"Cool, it T-Dog," Glenn waved a hand to try and calm the situation, feeling the atmosphere getting more and more tense as the minutes passed.

"You just rang the dinner bell, " Andrea stated bitterly and stared through the dirty store windows, streaked with goodness knows what. "What the Hell were you doing out there anyway?"

"Trying to flag down the helicopter," Rick stated quietly, it was what had startled the already nervous horse, the sudden whirring of the blades flying low overhead and just skimming the rooftops.

"Jesus, man what kinda shit are you on anyway? There ain't no damned helicopters anymore, ain't nothing been flying in the sky for weeks now." T-Dog smirked over at Morales who just shrugged in response.

"I know what I saw! I'm telling you there was a helicopter flying over the City; probably on its way to the CDC…" Rick placed his hands on his hips and stared down the other man. Suddenly the sound of gunshots echoed around the empty store and everyone looked up to the roof.

"Oh my God – is that the Dixons?" Andrea sighs heavily and they head upstairs.

"Yeah well, hopefully they've put that lazy good for nothing, Ed in their cross fire!" Jacqui stated bitterly as they climbed the stairs. She had seen the fading bruises disappear and then reappear on his wife's arms and knew that they weren't a case of 'walking into a door' or 'tripped over the cat' like so many reported in to the battered women phone line that she manned once a week – or used to man when there were phone lines. They reached the roof to see Ed taking potshots at the Walkers below; with Daryl and Merle trying to restrain him.

"Ed, are you crazy!" Morales stepped forward to try and reason with the man, and T-Dog shouted from behind him.

"Man you're wasting bullets!"

"I ain't taking orders from no one, especially from a nigger like you." Fists started to fly and Ed started to pummel and kick T Dog, Andrea and Jacqui started to scream for him to stop and Ed was yelling obscenities at both T-Dog and Morales.

"Hush up, Ed – you're bringing the Walkers closer!" Daryl and Merle ran over to peer over the edge of the building to see the Walkers starting to swarm against the side of the buildings.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? Bunch of no good rednecks; always sniffing around my woman…probably waiting for me to die so y'all can move in and fuck her…" Ed swung wildly around with his fists only to have it caught in Daryl's firm grip. Daryl watched Ed's face as he tightly squeezed until his knuckles turned white.

"That ain't no way to speak about a Lady…especially one a sweet as Carol."

"I was right…you do want to fuck her… well she's an ice cold bitch in the sack, had been for years."

"Probably 'cause you made her that way, I oughta just throw you off the roof right now!" Daryl screamed in Ed's face, anger turning his face purple.

"Yeah…" Ed jeered and tried to wrestle his way out of Daryl's hold and reach down into his waistband where his pistol was stashed.

"Yeah…." Daryl loosened his hold as Ed slowly turned his head to find himself facing the butt end of Rick's rifle. He gave a muffled shout as it connected to the side of his head and then he hit the ground finding himself being cuffed to a railing by a very pissed off Rick; who had heard every vile word that had poured out of the man's mouth.

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Officer Friendly." Rick leant in close to the furious Ed and lowered his voice. "Look here, Ed. There are no niggers anymore, no inbred white trash either. Only dark meat and white; that's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together; not apart,"

"Screw you."

"You ougta be a bit more friendly to a man with a gun."

"Screw you twice."

"Well, I'll just leave you here to think things through for a bit, Y'all have a nice day now." Rick tipped a finger to his forehead and managed to flip Ed off at the same time; all the time wearing a sugary sweet smile of an innocent officer of the law. He went over to join the Dixon brother's at the roof and peered over the sides.

"Officer Friendly, huh? Like your style, man. Name's Daryl and this here's ma brother Merle. That piece of shit's been beating on his wife for years thinkin' he could get away with it…Not anymore though…" Daryl saluted Rick with his crossbow and pointed out where Walkers were swarming against the glass plated doors of the store. "We ain't gonna just be able to walk away from this one…have to think of another plan."

"Old building like this one often had drainage system leading to the sewers through the sub-basement. I used to work in the City planning office so I saw it all the time." Jacqui pointed out that the building they were in was mostly likely to have one of the drainage systems as it dated from the +twenties. She started to lead the way back down the stairs only to pause at the top of the stairwell.

"What about him?" Rick looked over to see Ed screaming and hollering at them to let him go, he cocked a brow at the Dixon brothers who nodded in agreement.

"Y'all go and see if you can find a way outta this mess. Me and Merle will keep an eye on things from up here." Daryl crossed in front of Ed and bent down low to whisper in his ear. "Me and Ed are gonna find time to have a little 'come to Jesus' chat, aren't we Ed?"

"Okay, T-Dog you stay behind as well and keep trying to contact the rest of your people by CB. Take the key and **only **let him out of those cuffs if you run into trouble." Rick tossed the key to T-Dog who crouched down beside the wall and instantly started to fiddle with the radio. Rick nodded at the Dixon's who looked way too pleased to be left with that wife beating son of a bitch. Rick grinned evilly and made his way over to where Jacqui, Andrea, Morales and Glenn were waiting just beyond the roof door.

They made their way into the sub-basement and Glenn agreed to go down with Morales as his wing man. Andrea and Rick made their way back to the main store front to keep guard and Jacqui stayed at the top of the stairwell ready to relay the danger signal to Glenn should it arise.

Glenn led the way through the dripping drainage tunnel only to find the exit blocked by a locked gate and a hungry Walker. He and Morales made their way back up the stairwell and they all congregated back on the rooftop.

If Rick noticed that Ed's nose was clearly broken or that Daryl's knuckles were bruised and bloody, then he chose to ignore it; choosing instead to scan the surrounding streets through a pair of binoculars. Merle joined him at the edge of the roof and nudged his shoulders to point out a construction site a few blocks over. There was a truck parked over by the entrance to the site, the kind with a roll shutter on the back.

"Hmm…most vehicles like that would probably have the keys nearby…trouble is how to we get to it?" Rick scanned the area again, noticing the large herds of Walkers that had congregated on every street.

"What you need is a diversion…something to draw their attention away from what you are doing," Merle's keen eyesight picked out a red coupe parked near the construction site and tapped Rick on the shoulder. "That's bound to have a screaming alarm or a rocking sound system, either way you've got it made. Now all you need to do is think of a way to get you to it."

"Something that will let you past unnoticed…to blend in…haven't you noticed the smell…aargh...the dead smell dead and we don't….uh oh I really don't like that look…" Andrea was reflecting on how the Walkers stank to high heaven and noticed a suddenly intent look on Rick's face and he turned to bark orders at Daryl and Merle to stay where they were and to call out if they noticed any difference in the Walker's behaviours.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Glenn looked down at the elbow length rubber gloves that Rick pulled off the racks back down in the store. Rick picked out similar gloves for Morales, Andrea and Jacqui and then threw everyone a knee length lab coat to cover their clothes.

"Andrea said it herself…the dead smell dead, and we don't. Except for now, we certainly do." Rick made everyone take a step back as he brought down an axe to a fallen Walker body; cleaving it neatly in two. He smeared a little of the innards over his coat and looked over at Andrea.

"Smell me."

"Yuck, no!"

"Smell me, Andrea." Rick ordered again and watched as Andrea leant forward to sniff slightly at his smeared coat.

"Ummm, you stink but I can still tell the difference." Rick looked over at Glenn who looked extremely unhappy at the prospect of smearing innards all over his clothing.

"We need more guts…" They spoke as one and everyone sighed as they looked down at the gory mess at their feet. Morales stepped forward and swung the axe down into the abdominal cavity and hooked out a mess of squishy intestines which he looped over Rick's shoulder and then rubbed his bloody hands over the front of the lab coat. Andrea and Jacqui followed suit, each swallowing hard at the sudden rush of nausea that rose up in their throats.

Rick and Glenn stepped out of the loading bay doors and gingerly stepped out into the main street. Each man was carrying a weapon, the machete for Rick and pick axe for Glenn. They were watched by six anxious faces from above, two of which were scanning the streets ahead for possible avenues of attack. Rick took a hesitant step forward pausing when a Walker with dripping jaws took a sniff at him. Everyone on the rooftop held their breath as the Walker leant in close to Rick, dripping ooze down the front of Rick's coat to mingle in with the rest.

"Well hot damn! I actually think they're gonna pull it off. Andrea, you and Jacqui head down to the loading bay with Morales and make ready to reel that door up. T-Dog, keep trying to raise the camp and let Dale know that we're likely to be coming in hot. Daryl, keep an eye out for anything that might block Glenn's path to the little roadster and I'll keep an eye on Officer Friendly, let's move it people!" Merle barked out orders and everyone scrambled to follow them; he'd been in the Military for a while after High School; had chosen to serve eight years in the Army rather than eight years in prison but had grown to like the order and structure over time.

Rick and Glenn made it over to the red Roadster and Rick leant in the car and jammed his screwdriver into the steering column to get the engine started; causing the alarm to scream in warning.

"Remember, try to draw them away from the store and the loading bay and then make like Hell outta the City." Rick pitched his voice to be heard over the wailing alarm and Glenn shrugged off his filthy lab coat and gloves to hop in the driver's seat. He pumped the gas and grinned at the sound of the throaty roar.

"Leave it to me, Rick." Rick leant in the broken window to ask Glenn one further question.

"What exactly did you do before all of this happened?"

"Pizza delivery guy," grinned Glenn as he pumped the gas and shot off down the streets, weaving in and out of the herding Walkers.

"Pizza delivery, well that explains a lot." Rick watched Glenn drive off and stood for a moment wondering whether their crazy assed plan would even work. One Walker paused in its shambling movements and tilted its head to the side as if listening intently. It made a step forward and then wheeled around and groaned as it followed the sound of the screaming alarm system. One by one the other Walkers started to follow.

"Yes!" Rick punched the air and made a run for the parked truck. He fumbled around for the keys and started the engine, turning the truck around in the street and making for the loading bay of the store.

"T-Dog throw me over those keys…" Merle held out a hand for the keys to the handcuffs that Rick had left with him, T-Dog tripped as he threw the key and they watched as it went sailing across the roof to disappear down the drain.

"Shit!" T-Dog went pale beneath his dark skin and Merle sighed heavily as he crossed over to kneel by the drain, hoping to be able to fish the key out with one of the tools from Dale's tool chest.

"Go on, boy. Best git your ass down to the bay and tell the other's not to leave without us."

"You cain't just leave me like this!" Ed screamed out at Merle and was cuffed at the side of the head by a scowling Daryl.

"No one said anything about leavin' your sorry ass, did they? Although, if you touch Carol again you may wish that we had left your ass up here to rot…get my drift?"

"Daryl, leave the man alone and give me a hand with this…The key's too far down to reach but we may be able to use a hacksaw to cut through…"

"You ain't gonna cut my hand off are you? I swear…I won't touch her again!" _Thwack! _Only this time the blow came from Merle.

"Quit your pansy ass blubbering. I ain't aimin' to cut off your hand – jest the pipe. Now shut the fuck up!" Merle had Daryl stretch out the handcuffs so that he could get the hacksaw blade over the thinnest part, where the two cuffs met in the middle. After a few saws the link fell apart.

"There, you got yourself a new piece of jewellery….now I suggest we all move our asses before they decide that we ain't worth waitin' for! Don't forget to pick up Dale's tool chest Ed, otherwise he'll be mighty pissed and that ain't somethin' that I wanna see." Daryl scooped up the binoculars, rifle and his crossbow and made for the staircase; leaving Merle to chivvy Ed along. He chuckled when he heard Ed fall over Merle's deliberately placed foot and Ed's groan of –"You broke my damned nose again!"

"Awwww – does little Eddie have a booboo? Shame, now move your fat ass outta my way!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Come and meet everyone." Morales said to Rick as they slowly approached the entrance to the camp, he hopped out of the truck and ambled over to greet his wife and children. Rick stayed in the truck for a moment, squeezing the top of his nose between his fingertips in an effort to combat his tiredness.

"How'd you guys get out anyway? We thought you were goners for sure…" Shane asked, the last they had heard over the crackling CB was that they were all trapped on a rooftop in the middle of a herd of Walkers.

"New guy…he got us out." Glenn hitched a shoulder in the direction of the truck and Shane slowly turned around to speak to Morales.

"New guy?" Shane questioned, since when had they been so willing to accept anyone new?

"Yeah, some cop that just blew into town," Morales turned around to shout over in the direction of the truck. "Hey, Helicopter Boy! Come say hello." The truck door slowly opened and then clunked shut as Rick stepped out. "The guys a cop, just like you." Shane turned slowly hardly daring to believe his eyes, was that really who he thought it was?

Rick blinked hard in the sunlight having just caught sight of a small boy standing talking to a very familiar looking brunette. Suddenly the boy leapt forward and ripped himself out of his mother's arms.

"Dad!" Rick bent low to capture his son in his arms, falling to the ground in shock. He met Lori's eyes over their sons' head and reached out with a trembling hand to capture one of her own. No words were needed as their eyes said everything they needed to say – _I love you; I've missed you; where were you? I'm here now._

Later on, most of the group were gathered around a small fire talking about how Rick had woken from his coma to find the world a changed place. He spoke of how he had met up with a man named Morgan who had bandaged his still bleeding wound and how he felt at first.

"Disoriented – I guess that come's closest. Fear and confusion, all of those things, but disoriented mostly."

"When things started to get really bad, the hospital told me that they were going to Medivac you and the other patients to Atlanta...and it never happened." Lori murmured quietly into her husband's shoulder, feeling him press a kiss against it. Rick went to say something further but was interrupted by a flurry of sparks that had risen up from another nearby fire. Daryl looked up from where he and Merle were sitting just outside of the main group and swore under his breath.

"You wanna rethink that log, Ed?"

"It's cold." Ed replied in a 'screw you' tone. Daryl sighed again and walked over to where the Peletier's were sitting around a now roaring fire; closely followed by Merle.

"Cold don't change the rules now, does it. You keep the fires low; just embers, so that we cain't be seen from a distance." Merle muttered watching as Daryl moved around to the other side of the camp hovering around Carol and her daughter, ready to leap in front of them at the first sign of trouble.

"I said, it's cold." Ed flatly refused to remove the log and settled back against his lawn chair, eyes daring his timid wife to defy him. "Why don't you mind your own damned business for once?"

"You sure you want to have this conversation man? Go on pull that thing out, go on!" Merle murmured quietly to the man, sparing a look over at how Carol and her daughter were huddled together on the other side of the fire. Carol caught his gaze and got up from her chair to pull the log from the fire before scuttling back to her chair. Daryl stomped on the log to smother the heat and walked around the now low burning fire to crouch down in front of the Peletier females.

"Hey Carol, Sophia. How y'all doin' this evening?" He kept his voice low and noticed that Sophia would not bring her eyes up to meet his.

"We're fine, just fine." Carol forced a smile to her face and flickered a quick glance over at her sullen husband. "I'm sorry about the fire," She began and Daryl held up a hand with a soft smile.

"S'all right, no apology needed," _at least not from you_, his eyes added and Carol nodded slightly in acceptance. "Y'all have a good night, okay?"

"Okay…" Carol whispered and nodded as he moved silently away to retake his seat just outside of the main circle. Merle continued to stay at Ed's side; whispering low threats as to what would happen if he ever caught him trying to get the camp caught out again.

Rick awoke the next morning to find a pair of faded denims and a clean white t-shirt next to him on the bed, he looked around the tent to find both Carl and Lori gone. Quickly dressing in the borrowed clothes he stepped out into the morning light to find Carol ironing his uniform shirt with an old fashion iron heated in the fire.

"They're still a little damp," She stated running her hands over the tan, striped uniform pants, "the sun will have them dry in no time."

"You washed my clothes?" Rick was amazed, they were in the middle of an Armageddon and this quiet woman was calmly washing clothes and then making sure they were ironed too!

"Well, best I could, using a washboard just isn't the same as my old Maytag at home."

"Well, thank you that's very kind." Carol nodded her head shyly, not used to compliments of any kind. Rick nodded goodbye and strolled off to join Lori who was tidying away Carl and Sophia's school books. He had just started to speak when high pitched screams pierced through the quiet morning air. Rick raced through the forest area, Lori hot on his heels; Shane threw a rifle in his direction and gave chase with Glenn close by. Carl and Sophia came running out of the forest and buried their heads against Lori's stomach.

"Baby, you okay? Nothing scratched you?" Lori knelt down to check over both children who were shaking in her arms and pointing over into a clearing. The men ran through, weapons raised high to see a Walker biting into a fallen deer that had arrows sticking out of its hind legs. The Walker turned around and Rick slammed his metal stake into the side of its head with a sickening thud. As the Walker fell to the ground the other men gathered around with their own weapons; Jim with a rake, Shane with his rifle, Glenn with a metal pole and Dale with a machete. It was Dale that made the killing blow, a firm strike with the machete that removed the Walker's head in one movement.

"That's the first one we've had up here, they've never come this far up the mountain before." Dale shook his head worriedly at the group. Jim stepped forward and kicked at the Walkers legs.

"They're running out of food in the city, that's why." A stirring in the bushes behind Jim, had them all stepping forward with their weapons raised high.

"Sonofabitch! That was MY deer! I bin trackin' that damned thing for miles, was gonna drag it back to camp cook us up some venison…Think we could cut up around it?" Daryl knelt down and sketched out around the bitten area. Shane shook his head negatively.

"Naw, we cain't take the risk."

"Now that's a damned shame… Still I got some squirrels, about half a dozen or so that will have to do." Daryl turned away to walk back into camp brushing past the fallen Walker as he did so, the eyes of the dismembered head suddenly opened and the teeth gnashed together snarling and trying to bite. Quick as a flash, Daryl stabbed one of his arrows into the washed out eyes of the Walker and threw a sarcastic glance around the stunned group.

"Come on people what the Hell? Remember, you gotta kill the brain, God don't you people pay any attention?" Daryl and Merle had been drilling them all with instructions ever since they arrived at the campsite a little over a month ago; and they still tried to beat the everlasting crap out of the Walkers instead of making one decisive aim at the head. He shook his head wearily and stalked off back to the main campsite to drop off the squirrels.

"It seems to me as if what you really need is more guns." Rick looked down at the still Walker and then back around the sparse campsite. "All you seem to have is one or two handguns and a couple of rifles."

"Right…the guns," Glenn muttered slowly, raising his eyebrows as he realised where Rick was going with the conversation. His heart sank as he also realised that it probably meant yet another run into the City for him as well.

"What guns?" Shane's brow wrinkled in confusion, how the Hell had they got from talking about how best to kill a Walker onto the need for more guns. More guns, meant more noise bringing more Walkers.

"Six shotguns, two high powered rifles, over a dozen handguns; I cleaned out the gun cage before I left. I dropped the bag in Atlanta when I got swarmed by Walkers – it's just sitting there on the street waiting to be picked up."

"Ammo?" Shane leant forward, copying Rick's pose of hands on hips.

"Seven hundred rounds, assorted." Shane nodded his head in agreement and they formulated a plan as they walked back into camp; Lori was furious when her husband revealed that he would be going away again so soon after returning to her.

"I don't want you to go, make me understand why…" Lori looked over at her husband, pleading with him not to go. Rick walked forward to take Lori's hand and press it to his chest.

"I owe a debt to a man I met along the way. If he hadn't I'd have died – we made a plan for him to follow me to Atlanta. If he does before I can warn him, he'll fall into the same trap that I did. I have to go…" Lori finally nodded in acceptance and squeezed Rick's hand.

He strode away and then leapt up into the back of the truck they had brought back from the city; along with Shane, Glenn and T-Dog; leaving Merle, Daryl, Dale and Morales behind to protect the camp. Ed was on escort duty down at the quarry where the women were washing the clothes and Jim was off somewhere in the hills above the camp.

"Merle, I'm gonna head on down to the quarry – I'm worried that Ed will start something with the women if neither one of us is around to keep an eye on things." Lori looked over to where the brothers were discussing the events of the past day. She left the children working on their Math problems and walked over to them, leaning her hands in her back pockets.

"Listen guys, I can take care of things up here with Dale and Morales if the both of you want to go over and look out for things in the quarry. I may not have shown it; but I've seen those bruises and seen the looks that he gives that little girl when no one else was looking – you go on and make sure that he keeps his hands to himself." Merle looked at Daryl who leant down to pick up his crossbow without saying a word. They nodded to Lori and moved in almost perfect synchronicity down the rocky path that lead to the lakes of the quarry.


	4. Chapter 4

Amy, Andrea, Jacqui and Carol were down at the quarry scrubbing clothes against a washboard whilst a battered and morose looking Ed was sitting on the open tailgate of his car smoking a cigarette watching the women doing all the work.

"I'm beginning to question the division of labour here," Jacqui stated to Andrea as they carted yet another load down to the shore. "Can someone explain to me why the heck women always end up doing all the dirty work?"

"The world ended; didn't you get the memo?" Amy quipped back, Carol spared a glance over at where her husband sat silently watching them and turned back to the washboard.

"That's just the way it is…"

"I do miss my Maytag..."

"I miss my 'bans and my satnav.." Andrea

"I miss my coffeemaker, with that filter and built in grinder, honey." Jacqui

"My computer…and texting."

"I miss my vibrator…." Andrea stopped scrubbing and sighed wistfully, there was a moment's silence and then the women started laughing together. Carol peeked over her shoulder to make sure that Ed's attention was elsewhere and keeping her voice low and head turned away, softly whispered – "Me, too." The group erupted into shrieks of laughter at the shy woman's confession, Ed walked over to see what the fuss was all about.

"What's so funny?" He asked as he strolled along behind them, smoking yet another cigarette.

"Just swapping war stories, Ed." Andrea faked a smile as she replied back to him, adding _asshole_ under her breath. When he didn't immediately move away, she looked over again. "Problem, Ed?"

"None that concerns you..." He looked down to his wife, addressing his comments directly to her. "You oughtta focus on your work, this ain't no comedy club." Carol kept her eyes down, focusing on the movement of the clothes against the washboard. Andrea finally had enough of his sarcastic comments and rose to her feet.

"Ed, tell you what – you don't like how your laundry's done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself; here," Andrea threw a sopping wet shirt in his direction which he batted straight back.

"Ain't my job, Missy."

"Andrea, don't…" Amy pleaded with her sister not to antagonise Ed any further, knowing that in all likelihood it would be Carol that would have to pay the ultimate price within the dark confines of their tent later that evening.

"What is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?"

"Sure ain't listening to some uppity, smart-mouthed bitch, tell you what." He turned to his wife and gestured toward the waiting car. "Come on, let's go."

"I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed."

"And I say it's none of your business. Come on now, you heard me."

"Carol…."

"Andrea, please! It doesn't matter…"Carol with red-rimmed eyes, brushed past Andrea and knocking her hand off her shoulder.

"Don't think I won't knock you on your ass," He muttered to Andrea and turned to beckon to Carol once again. "Now you come on now, or you'll regret it later."

"Why? So she can show up with fresh bruises?" Jacqui spat out at the hateful man, "Oh, yeah we've seen them."

"You don't want to keep prodding the bull here, now git!" Ed grabbed Carol's arm in a bruising grip and she pulled back slightly. He slapped her hard across the face and the women lunged at him trying to break his tight hold. Andrea slapped the wet washing across his eyes and it was enough to make him loosen his grip so that Amy could pull Carol away and wrap her in a hug.

Daryl heard the commotion as he and Merle were rounding the bend and was too far away to stop Ed's hand from connecting with Carol's soft cheek. He was there however, to stop him from pulling Carol out of Amy's tender hold and pulled back his own fist to plunge into Ed's cheek.

"Didn't I tell you what would happen if you so much as looked at her funny again? You worthless piece of shit!" Daryl thrust his head into Ed's doughy stomach and knocked him down onto the ground. Merle held Carol back as she went over to stop him from beating Ed unconscious.

"Naw, little Mousey – let Daryl get a few more licks in, your old man's had it coming on for a while now."

"Merle, he's gonna kill him and I can't have that on my conscience." Carol pressed a hand against Merle's arm and he patted it gently, like an avuncular uncle.

"Don't you fret, little Mousey. I'll stop him before it goes too far…look's like that's my cue to step in and save the day again." Merle stepped forward to heave a sweaty and cussing Daryl off of Ed's fallen brother. "Easy now, brother. Little Mousey don't want her old man dead – just useless for a few days," he used a soothing tone to try and bring Daryl's temper down from boiling point. "Betcha never saw this comin' did ya? Ain't it usually you pullin' me off some asshole in a bar somewhere? Aahh, those were the days. Better now?"

"Yeah…don't think he's gonna be able to try anything with Carol for a few days – think I kicked his balls right up into his throat…"

"Good, that's real good 'lil brother. Now you go and make sure little Mousey's alright and I'll haul the trash back up to camp. Andrea, darlin' want to give me a hand with this?" Merle flicked a smile over at the blonde who was dying to get her hands dirty with a little clear up action.

"Love to, Merle. Best offer I've had all day." Andrea stepped over Ed's battered body to take the hand that Merle held out to her. "Oooh, so sorry was that your hand, Ed?" She smirked at the whimper Ed made as she deliberately ground her instep into his hand, crushing his little finger with her foot.

"Remind me never to get on the wrong side of you, Blondie." Merle quipped and flushed lightly as Andrea ran her eyes all over his body, lingering on his belt buckle and licking her lips deliberately.

"You might just like it…"

"Whoooey! Ain't you the feisty one today?" He hooked a hand around her neck as they wandered over to Ed's car. "Tell me, Blondie why is it that we never hooked up before now?"

"You couldn't handle me, Merle…I'm just too much woman for you." Andrea slipped out of his hold and into the driver's seat and prepared to reverse the car back down to the shallows.

"Now ain't that a shame, yeah a real shame." Merle shook his head at Andrea's words and prepared to see her back.

Daryl walked over to where Amy and Jacqui were trying to comfort Carol; both women backed off slightly when Daryl approached, both still a little wary of him. They stood to one side and watched as the fearsome Hunter dropped all of his bullshit defences and showed his vulnerability; something that only came to light whenever he was around one particular person.

"Hey, how're ya doin' Carol?" He knelt down by her side, careful to maintain a slight distance between their bodies; after all she had just seen him nearly pound her husband to within an inch of his life.

"Not so bad, you?"

"Mustn't grumble." The complete inanity of their conversation in light of what had just happened struck them both at the same time and they chuckled slightly. Carol's humour turned to horror when she saw the state of Daryl's bruised and bloody hands.

"Daryl! Your hands…come on let me take a proper look at them." Carol reached over and gently took one of his hands, inspecting it for any major damage. His breath caught in his chest at the way she gently smoothed her fingers over the worst of the bruises; so gentle and kind. Carol led Daryl over to the cool water and scooped up a handful to wash away the dried blood. She looked over at his hiss of breath at the sting and smiled gently.

"Okay?" She asked and when he nodded, she took the other hand and repeated the motions.

"What about **him**?" Daryl jerked his head over to where Ed was being lifted into the back of their car by Merle and Andrea; who were not showing the slightest bit of consideration from the sounds of his head crashing against the top of the door and the muffled curses that followed.

"Him? Well I guess I could show him the same consideration that he showed me every time I was in that state…but there's not a TV handy and I haven't got a fridge full of beer." Carol shrugged her shoulders and turned her back on her husband who was now shouting for her to come over and help him. Daryl looked at her down bent head as she re-tied her loose shoelace and once again tried to comprehend how her worthless husband could have ever laid a hand on her…and then to turn around and ignore her suffering….never again, he vowed silently. Never again.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that afternoon, Dale was keeping watch from the top of the RV; scanning the horizon for any sign that Rick, Shane, T-Dog and Glenn were on their way back from the city. He swept his binoculars over the lake where Andrea and Amy were in his canoe trying to catch supper and then movements from the top of the hill had him climbing down the ladder and going in search of Merle and Daryl.

"Guys, there's something funny going on with Jim. He's been up on that hill all morning, digging something and I'm getting more than a little worried; he's been out there in all of this heat and wouldn't even come down for lunch." Dale tugged at his beard as he expressed his concerns to the Dixon brothers as they sat outside their tent; Merle sharpening his knives and Daryl adjusting the tension of his crossbow. Daryl placed the bow to one side and rose to his feet.

"Let's go and check it out then; you comin' Merle?" By the time they reached the grassy hilltop all of the camp were following behind; all wondering what had Jim occupied for so long. They came out of the tree line into a clearing to see an exhausted and sweat soaked Jim digging what looked like to be the last of six shallow grave sized holes. Daryl and Merle tried to coax him into giving up the shovel but ended up having to wrestle Jim to the ground in order for him to stop digging. They carried him back down to the camp and tied him to a tree in the shade for his own protection as well as theirs. Dale diagnosed that Jim was suffering from sunstroke given that he had been overexerting himself in the hundred degree temperatures. Either Daryl or Merle checked on Jim throughout the day pouring cool water over his head in order to reduce his temperature; by the time the night started drawing in Jim was more like himself and full of apologies for his actions.

"I'm sorry I scared your boy and your little girl, never meant to." Jim called over to where Lori and Carol were sitting going through schoolbooks with the children. Lori looked up and gave a slight nod of her head.

"You had sunstroke, no one's blaming you for that."

"Jim, do you remember why you did what you did?" Dale bent down to check on his friend, testing his temperature with the back of his hand.

"Had a reason, don't remember what. Something that I dreamt last night." Jim looked over at Carl, "Your dad was in it; you were too- you were worried about him can't remember the rest. Are you worried about your dad?" Carl looked up from his school book and shook his head but his words revealed his hidden worry.

"They aren't back yet."

"We don't need to talk about that." Lori rubbed her hand in small circles over Carl's back and shot a look across to where Jim was still looking over at her son.

"Your dad's a police officer, son he helps people; he probably just came across some folks needing help that's all. That man he's as tough as nails…I don't know him well but I can see it in him; there ain't nothing gonna stop him from getting back here to you and your Momma." Lori gave Jim a small smile, knowing that those words from him would do more to reassure Carl than her soft touch.

The group huddled around a small fire that evening waiting for Rick, Shane, T-Dog and Glenn to return from the City with the fallen bag of guns. Dale and Andrea had cooked up a huge fish fry from the catch that she and Amy had caught earlier. Carol was feeling a little guilty over not offering to help Ed at the quarry and her natural good nature had her trying to get Ed to leave the tent to join the rest of the group.

"I ain't hungry…git along with ya both. No need for you to come in and bother me for the rest of the night – I'm sure one of the others would be glad to have you sleepin' over in their tent." Ed growled at his wife and daughter and kicked their small bag of belongings outside of the door; shoving them out with it. Carol heard the zipper closing behind them and hugged Sophia to her side, nuzzling the sweet scent of her hair. The snapping of a twig to her right had her whirling around and pushing Sophia behind her; she sighed as she recognised the dark shadow of Daryl stepping out of the bushes.

"Didn't mean to scare you; I heard what he said…" He jerked his head in the direction of the closed tent and fumbled with the arrows on his crossbow. "Y'all can share my tent…" Carol's eyebrow raised up as he made his offer and she saw Daryl's cheeks flush as he realised exactly how that must have sounded. "I mean…I can bunk in with Merle; you and Sophia can have my tent."

"That's very kind of you Daryl, are you sure we won't be putting you and Merle to any trouble?"

"No trouble at all, little Mousey. I would have offered myself but 'lil brother beat me to it." Merle stepped from the shadows behind his brother and leant down to scoop up their meagre belongings from where Ed had thrown them on the ground. "This way, ladies…" Merle swept his arm out to the side and indicated that they should precede him over to where the Dixon's tent were situated a little further away from where the rest of the camp was spread out.

"Got some squirrel stew on the go…or we could sit with the rest and have the fish fry?" Daryl reached their little camp first and stirred the pot up. He looked up and saw Sophia leaning against Carol; looking around shyly at the brothers.

"No need to be shy, Soph…take a load off. Got a little log here with your name on it…" Merle patted a log that was close to the embers of their fire.

"Momma?" Sophia looked at her mother and Carol gave her a little nudge to where Merle was patting the log again in invitation. Sophia walked over and perched on the edge of the log and gazed into the flames. Carol stepped around the fire and joined Daryl where he had chosen to sit on a blanket with his back against another log.

"You okay? He didn't hurt you or nothing?" Daryl kept his eyes on the fire as he spoke softly to Carol. She didn't respond apart from pressing her shoulder against his lightly and sighing softly. The four of them sat quietly in the night listening to the soft sounds of laughter drifting over from the main group.

The mood was light as they enjoyed the fish caught by Andrea and Amy; and cleaned by Daryl with the help of Sophia and Carl. They were all aware that with every hour that passed there was less and less hope of Rick's small party never returning. Lori huddled closer to the fire and pulled Carl into her side and nuzzled against his dark hair that reminded her so much of his father.

"Don't you worry, Carl – your Daddy's survived worse than this; look how he travelled all that way from home just to find us; he's gonna be fine just fine." She murmured low into his ear, and stroked back the soft waves that were beginning to form as his hair grew longer. Carl nodded slowly and Lori continued to stroke her fingers through his hair; offering herself comfort as well as her son.

Amy got up from the log and brushed off the seat of her pants, Andrea looked over and called out – "Where are you going?" Amy looked over her shoulder at her sister and made a grimace.

"I need to pee…jeez you try to be discrete around here…." The group giggled as Amy stuck out her tongue at her elder sister before stomping off in the direction of the RV.

Ed rolled over on his bunk, wincing as his bruises rubbed against the edges of the camp bed. His stomach rumbled at the smells drifting over from the fish fry and he heard a rustling coming from outside of the tent.

"I thought I told y'all to leave me the Hell alone, didn't I?" He grumbled over his shoulder, and tried to ignore the rustling; when it got louder he rose to his feet to head near the opening of the tent. "Hey – what did I say?" He threw open the cloth doorway, ready to tear a strip off of his wife only to find himself face to face with a snarling Walker. "Holy…!" That was all he managed to get out before the Walker lunged forward.

"We're out of toilet paper…?" Amy stepped down from the RV, holding the door open with her left hand and calling in out in disbelief to the rest of the group; not realising that another Walker was just out of sight behind the open door. As she stood in the doorway the Walker stepped around to sink its jaws deep into her forearm.

The first Walker at Ed's tent tore into his throat forcing Ed to fall back into the tent; three more Walkers followed the first and soon Ed's gargled screams mingled in with Amy's higher pitched ones.

Panic ensued as the camp was soon overrun with Walker's tearing into anyone that was standing alone. Merle and Daryl had run over to help and their arrows flew as they started to pick off the stumbling feeders one by one; Lori huddled the children close to her side as Dale and Morales took pot shots were they could.

Rick, Shane, T-Dog and Glenn came racing through the tree line having abandoned the truck back in the City and walked back to camp. Bullets flew and people were using baseball bats and anything else they could scoop up to use as defence. Daryl was trying to herd everyone in the direction of the RV as Rick and his group arrived in time to clear the camp of the remaining Walkers.

Andrea raced over to Amy's side and pressed her hands against the gaping wounds in her neck. Tears streamed down her face as she cradled her dying sister – "I don't know what to do…"

Rick screamed for Carl and scooped him up in his arms as the small boy came hurtling out of the darkness toward him. Rick held out his arms and Lori stepped into them as they stood watching Andrea cradling Amy in her arms and rocking silently.

Daryl and Merle stood to one side, panting with exertion and keeping a close eye on Carol and a shaking Sophia. Merle had whispered in Daryl's ear to keep the Peletier female's away from their tent as he had just discovered the gruesome sight inside. He had taken care of the Walkers as they had stumbled outside in when the chaos had erupted, attracted by the noise and the scent of the blood. Jim came stumbling over to them, holding tight to the blood soaked baseball bat he had used to take down the Walker that had been feeding on Amy. He stood looking over the carnage and turned to face Daryl – "I remember my dream now; why I dug the holes…"


	6. Chapter 6

In all they had lost six people to the Walkers during the long night; but it was the loss of Amy which affected them most of all. Andrea had refused to leave Amy's side as her life drained away; watching for that spark that would bring her back to her.

"Andrea, I am so sorry; but you have to let us…take her." Lori knelt by Andrea's side, watching as the woman continued to smooth the hair away from her dead sister's face. "We all cared about her, and I promise that we'll be as gentle as we can." When Andrea made no signs of hearing her, Lori rose to her feet and placed a gentle hand on her back in parting.

"She still won't move?" Rick asked Lori as he walked back from where he had been trying to raise Morgan on the Walkies as promised.

"Won't even talk to us; she's been there all night. What do we do?"

"We cain't just leave Amy there like that, we need to deal with it; same as the others." Shane muttered from where he had been sitting keeping Lori company until Rick returned.

"I'll tell her how it is," Rick stated quietly and walked across to where Andrea was kneeling in the dirt by the side of the RV. "Andrea…" He started to say, and was interrupted when Andrea whirled around pointing her pistol directly at his head.

"I know how the safety works…" She stated quietly, it was Rick that had pointed out to her only a few days before, that when she had pulled the gun on him back in Atlanta she hadn't flicked the safety off. When they were patrolling the front of the store whilst Glenn and Morales attempted their sewer run; Rick had taken a few moments to run her through the basics of firing a handgun.

Rick backed off slowly, apologising in his slow drawl; leaving Andrea to return again to smoothing Amy's hair away from her pale face. He returned to the others only for Daryl to blast him for not making Andrea give up her sister's body.

"That girl is a ticking time bomb! Take the shot; clean through the brain – Hell, I can hit a turkey clean between the eyes from this distance!"

"No! For God's sake leave her be!" Lori held up her hand; refusing to take part in the conversation any longer, Andrea had just lost her sister and they were talking about blasting out her brains as if she were nothing.

Jim and Jacqui were doing their bit with the clear up and Jacqui noticed a small patch of blood seeping through Jim's shirt. "Are you bleeding?"

"I just got some on me from the bodies."

"That blood's fresh, were you bit?"

"No! Got scratched during the attack." Jim tried to turn away from Jacqui's keen eyes, but was forced to face her when she grabbed hold of his shirt and tugged.

"You got bit!"

"I'm fine!"

"Then show me…"Jacqui demanded and rose to her feet.

"Don't tell, please…."

"A Walker got him! A Walker bit Jim!" Jacqui stepped away from Jim and pointed a shaking finger in his direction. The group gathered quickly around and Jim wiped the sweat off his brow.

"I'm okay!"

"Show it to us!" Daryl demanded; hefting his pick axe over his shoulder threateningly. Jim whirled around and picked up his shovel and waved it in the air to keep everyone back. T-Dog and Daryl lunged for the shovel and pulled up Jim's shirt to reveal a perfect set of teeth marks on his abdomen; swollen and oozing blood.

"I'm okay, I'm okay…I'm okay…" Jim repeated over and over as he stood to one side of the group.

"What if we can get him help? Jim's not a rabid dog, I heard the CDC was working on a cure?" Rick pulled the group to one side to discuss their options.

"I heard that too, but I heard a lot of things before the world went to Hell." Shane rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and looked over at his friend.

"What if the CDC is still up and running?"

"Man, that is a stretch right there."

"Why? If there was any government left; any structure at all they'd protect the CDC at all costs; wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot shelter, protection…" Rick started to tick them off against his fingers only for Shane to interrupt once again.

"Rick, I know you want those things – I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the Army base; Fort Benning."

"But that's over a hundred miles in the opposite direction!" Lori stated.

"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. Listen to me, if that place is operational it will be heavily armed, we'd be safe there."

"The military were on the front lines of this thing and they got overrun! We've all seen that, I still think that the CDC is our best choice and Jim's only chance…"

"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to to…Somebody needs to grow some balls and take care of the problem!" Merle spat in the dirt and whipped the pickaxe out of Daryl's grasp to lunge at Jim. A click in his ear denoting the release of the safety from Rick's Colt Python had him freezing in his tracks.

"We **don't** kill the living." Rick stated coldly keeping his Python aimed directly at Merle's forehead.

"That's funny, coming from a man who's just put a gun to my head." Merle slowly lowered the pickaxe and looked over at Rick with a snarl. Rick moved Jim into the cooler confines of the RV leaving Merle spitting in the dirt.

"I came to pay my respects." Dale walked over to kneel at Andrea's side and removed his fisherman's hat. "Have I ever mentioned how I lost my wife?"

"Cancer wasn't it?" Andrea's gaze flickered over him and then turned her attention back to Amy.

"Yeah…I dragged her to every doctor, every test and after all the surgeries; the chemo's she was ready. She'd accepted it; but I never could. I spent the last few years _so_ angry, I felt so cheated. Since she passed, you girls were the first people that I cared anything for." Dale left Andrea pondering his words as he slowly walked away.

Carol looked over to where Dale had just left Andrea and thought about what the other woman was waiting for. She straightened up her shoulders and walked through the camp searching the dead bodies for one in particular; she found Daryl over in the corner about to make a swing.

"I'll do it; he was my husband." Daryl handed over the pickaxe and Carol stood for a moment looking down at the barely recognisable carcass of Ed at her feet. She whispered a quick prayer of forgiveness and with trembling hands raised the pickaxe above her head. She missed on the first swing, catching Ed's shoulder instead of his head. Daryl stepped in behind her and wrapped his hands above her own.

"Let me help you, we'll do this together." As one they raised the pickaxe and let it swing down to implant the blade firmly in the middle of Ed's skull. Daryl dropped his hands and stepped back, waiting for Carol to join him; surprisingly she raised the axe with hands that no longer trembled and let it drop again and then again; tears of pent up anger and frustration falling from her eyes as she swung harder and harder.

"Easy now, Carol…that's it…come on, let me have the axe." Daryl eased his hands over hers and gently loosened her grip on the handle. "That's the way, come on – he's gone now and cain't ever hurt you again…" He felt Carol sag against him and they dropped to the floor as he cradled her as she wept silently, her scalding tears soaking into his shirt. For once, it never occurred to him to move away; he had never been one for casual touching – after years of suffering at the hands of his father even the slightest touch was enough to have him flinching away from the contact. With Carol it was different; and for the life of him he didn't know why.

On the other side of the camp a slight stirring from the still body of Amy had Andrea leaning closer into her sister's side. "Amy, I'm so sorry that I was never there…but I'm here for you now." Andrea knew that the group had been talking about putting a bullet through Amy's skull but she had no intention of letting anyone near her sister; if anyone was going to be the one to end it – it would be her. She put a hand in her pocket and pulled out the necklace that she had been saving for her birthday; Andrea placed it gently around her sister's neck and then pulled back the safety on her pistol.

"I'm sorry, Amy." Andrea looked deeply into the eyes that were not her sister's and pulled the trigger. The sound echoed through the small mountain and then there was silence. Inside the RV, Jim tensed at the sound and then sank back against the mattress. He put out a hand to pull the covers down around his waist and then pulled it back as he realised that the covers already were down. With a shaky hand, he wiped his sweating forehead and started to thrash about on the narrow cot.

"No, oh no – please not this!" He'd seen enough people turn, including his own sons; to know that this was not a good sign of things to come….


	7. Chapter 7

"We're moving out, leaving the quarry. If you heard me yesterday you may coming here; if you are we'll be gone by the time you arrive. I'm leaving a note and map behind for you, taped to a red car so you can follow our trail. We're heading to the CDC; if there's anything left then it's got to be there, don't you think? Morgan, I hope you were right about that place. I **need **you to be." Rick walked out alone and tried to raise Morgan on the Walkie Talkie. He leant his head against his hands and pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to combat the weariness that never seemed to leave his body. He rose to his feet and thumbed off the Walkie as he walked back into camp.

"We're not coming along," Morales announced to the group; Miranda hugged Eliza close to her side and looked over to where the others looked stunned. "We have family in Birmingham, we want to be with our people."

"You sure? You won't have anyone to watch your back."

"We'll take that chance. I gotta do what's best for **my **family." Morales looked over at Rick.

"You sure?"

"We talked about it, we're sure." Morales looked down at his wife and she nodded in agreement. Rick looked over at Shane who knelt to the ground to rummage in their bags containing the handguns and ammunition.

"Give him a .57." Rick handed Morales a hand gun and Shane a box of cartridges.

"The box is half full." The women gathered around to make their tearful goodbyes and Rick took Morales to one side to palm off a CB radio.

"Channel 40 if you change your minds, alright?"

"Yeah…"

The caravan slowly moved out of the mountains, Morales and Miranda turning right and the rest turning left. Dale was driving the RV with Glenn navigating; Jacqui was sitting in the back soothing Jim's fever with a damp washcloth. Shane was following along in his open top jeep; Daryl and Merle were in Daryl's truck with Merle's motorbike strapped to the back. Rick was driving Carol's minivan, with Lori beside him; Carol, Carl and Sophia tucked up together in the backseat.

They hadn't got too far along the road when the radiator hose started to spring a leak on the RV. They pulled over and Dale shook his head as he poked and prodded in the engine. Shane and T-Dog volunteered to drive ahead to the next town to see whether there was a garage that they could scavenge spare parts from. Jacqui burst out from the back of the RV; distressed over Jim's worsening condition. Rick ran inside to see what he could do to help.

"Jim, this is a slight hiccup that's all; we'll be back on the road soon."  
"Ah, Christ no! My bones…I can't take anymore. Just leave me here, please I want to be with my family."

"They're all dead, I don't think you know what you're asking. The fever…you've been delirious more often than not."

"I know, don't you think I know?" Jim winced as he shifted himself higher on the cot. "I'm clear now, in five minutes I may not be. Rick, I know what I'm asking. I want this, leave me here. Now that's on me, okay? My decision, not your failure." Jim stared long into Rick's eyes wanting the other man to know that he was perfectly sane and that Rick was not to blame for anything that would happen. Rick left Jim alone and went outside to tell the others the decision.

"He's lucid?" Carol asked Rick.

"He seems to be, yes."

"We just leave him here and take off? I'm not sure I can live with that." Shane removed his cap and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, it's not your call." Lori stepped forward and glanced between the two men. "Either one of you."

Rick and Shane carefully carried Jim out of the RV and placed him gently beneath a tree at the side of the road.

"Look…another damned tree!" Jim quipped weakly and fell back against the trunk with a groan. Shane leant in closer and whispered into his ear.

"Jim, you know it doesn't have to be this."

"No, it's good the breeze feels nice."

"Alright." Shane patted Jim's leg and made way for Jacqui to say her goodbyes.

"Just close your eyes Sweetie, don't mind." She leant in close as Jim closed his eyes and kissed him tenderly on his whiskered cheek. Rick stepped forward and knelt at Jim's side.

"Jim, do you want this?" Rick opened his hand to reveal a small handgun. Jim pushed his hand away and shook his head.

"No…" he breathed softly, "You'll need it, I'm okay…" Rick nodded slowly and stepped back to let Dale make his goodbyes.

"Thanks…for fighting for us." Dale patted Jim's leg and quickly walked away before his emotions got the better of him. Glenn nodded without moving closer.

Jim looked over to where Carol was hugging Sophia into her side and noticed how closely she was watched by both Daryl and Merle. A thought flittered through his hazy mind as he wondered whether she knew just how much attention the Dixon brothers paid to the quiet female and her little girl. He'd seen how the younger brother's eyes would sweep over her and then turn back to linger longer. He could almost feel Daryl's yearning, for it was something he had experienced with his own wife, Jessica.

"Jessica….I'm comin' darlin'…it won't be long now…" Jim leant back against the tree and stared back over to where Merle had nudged the little girl toward the beige minivan; giving her Momma and his brother a moment alone. Jim watched as Daryl reached out a hand to touch Carol's shoulder and then pulled it back before it could make contact. Carol looked over her shoulder at the younger man and smiled slightly before turning away to get into the car next to her daughter. Daryl turned to follow and then paused to look back at Jim. They exchanged a long look before Daryl nodded slowly showing Jim that he respected his decision. As the caravan pulled away once more, Jim tipped his head back to stare into the sunlight filtering through the leaves overhead and felt his breath stutter in his chest, once then twice. He closed his eyes and let the pain drift away focusing on his heartbeat until there was no more.

**Wildfire MSB3417 Active – Jenner here, its day 194 since Wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global. There's no clinical progress to report. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: A short and sweet little chapter where tough guy Merle tries to comfort a scared Sophia after she wakes from a nightmare. Chapter now reformatted - thanks to CindyKay for pointing it out!**

Merle woke up to the sound of soft scratching on the door an sat bolt upright against the couch; disoriented and wondering where on earth he was. Memories of the night before were fuzzy due to the wine and then the whiskey chasers that he and Daryl had consumed afterwards. Ah, Daryl – he remembered them stumbling down the corridor after hatching some stupid plan about needing to needing to protect the Peletier women against all evil and that was about it. He looked across the darkened room to see his brother stretched out across the opposite couch with his legs all wrapped around the little mouse.

"Ah! Young love…" He mused sleepily and turned his head as the same persistent scratching sound came from the door again. "For the love of God and all that is Holy what the fuck is it now? Cain't a man get some sleep around here?" He stomped his way to the door and flung it open only to see a white-faced Sophia, clutching the little rag doll given by Eliza Morales to her chest. Sophia cowered back at the sight of the burly man filling the doorway and sounding so much like her father. Carol had always warned Sophia never to come into her parent's room until one of them bade her to enter; there was no way in Hell that she'd subject her daughter to the sight of Ed in one of his black moods. Merle felt instantly guilty at his blustery tone when he saw how frightened the little girl appeared to be and dropped into a crouch and lowered his voice into a soft rumble.  
"Hey there, Sophia; thought you were having a sleepover with Rick and Lori?"  
"Mr. Dixon; is my Momma there? I had a nightmare and Momma always plays or reads with me until I can fall asleep." Sophia looked over at Merle and twisted her fingers in the doll's woollen hair.  
"Aww, sweet pea your Momma's pretty tired out at the moment. Tell you what, Darlin' why don't you come on in and tell ole Uncle Merle about it. Sometimes just talkin' about the bad stuff makes it go away or not seem so bad anymore. I play a mean game of checker's if you think you can keep from waking your Momma." Merle opened the door and placed his finger over his lips and nodded over to where Daryl and Carol were sleeping soundly on the couch. Sophia giggled a little at the sight, and placed a hand over her mouth to prevent it from escaping.  
"I know, they're a pretty sight ain't they? Never seen my brother take to someone quite like he has to you and your Momma." Merle winked over at Sophia and leant across to snap on a low level light and lowered the brightness so that it just shone enough to light the little table that he dragged over in front of his couch. He patted the seat next to him and Sophia snuggled in against the cushions that he piled up behind her. Snagging the spare throw from the back of the chair, he wrapped it securely around the little girl and waited until she was settled.  
"Let me take a wild guess and you can tell me whether I was right. You were dreaming about your Daddy…" Merle looked over and saw Sophia's slow nod; he reached out a large, work worn hand and patted her smaller hand gently. "Bound to happen, Darlin'; 'specially after everything you and your Momma have been through. I've had some pretty scary ones myself lately."

"You, Mr. Dixon?" Sophia's eyes widened at the thought of the scary looking man sitting next to her being scared of anything.  
"Straight up, Sweet pea…Only mine are about the people that I care about coming back; like Daryl, you and your Momma."

"You dream about me, Mr. Dixon?" Sophia looked amazed at the thought that anyone apart from her mother would dream about her.  
"Cross my heart," Merle made the age old gesture across his chest and listened to Sophia giggle again. "Now, I don't want you to think about your Daddy anymore; Me, your Momma and Daryl made sure that he cain't ever come back and hurt you ever again, you understand Sweet Pea? Not ever." Merle leant forward toward Sophia earnestly and tried to make her understand without being too graphic about it; Lori had made sure that the children were kept away from the sight of dead littering the camp wanting them to have a little more time as children before they had to face the horrors of what came after death.

"Okay." Sophia snuggled back against the side of the couch and her eyes blinked slowly as she struggled to remain awake. Merle saw the battle and turned the light down even more so that there it was barely more than a nightlight glowing in the corner.  
"Aww, sweet pea why don't you close those pretty blue eyes and try to sleep. Uncle Merle will be here to chase the monsters away, and look I've even left the light on so that you won't wake up in a strange place."  
"Do you promise, Mr. Merle?" Sophia whispered, half asleep now.  
"Promise what, sweet pea?" Merle gently tucked the throw more securely under her feet and kept his hand in place on the top so that she could register his presence.  
"That you'll chase the monsters away?"  
"Every last one of them…" Sophia snuck one of her hands out of the blanket covering and stretched it out so that she could just touch the tips of his fingers. He opened his palm and curled his fingers around her small hand, and like that they drifted off into a peaceful, unbroken sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Carol woke up first the next morning to a heavy weight across her legs; she looked down to see that Daryl had moved around in the night and was now sleeping with his head and arms wrapped around her legs; snuffling slightly against her knees.

"It's like having my own personal boa constrictor," Carol shifted her legs slightly to try and extract them from his grasp which only made him turn even further into her legs, rubbing his scruffy chin against her bare skin where her pant leg had ridden up in the night. A deeper snorting snuffle from the other side of the room had her looking over and smiling at the sight that greeted her eyes.

Sophia had moved in the night so that her head was on the couch seat and her legs were drawn up against the side cushions; it was a move that frequently had Carol amused as it was something that she had done since a baby and yet never woken from. Carol felt tears pricking behind her eyelids as she saw that despite being faced completely away from Merle; the little girl and the fierce red neck still clung onto each other's hands in their sleep, Merle's arm completely outstretched at an awkward angle as he tried to maintain the contact that Sophia had so desperately needed.

Carol needed someone to share the moment with and so she quietly untangled her legs from Daryl's grasp and placed pillow under his head to prevent him from wakening. She crept out of the room only to plow straight into an anxious looking Lori out in the hallway.

"Carol! I can't find Sophia! I checked on her and Carl around two and they were asleep, now she's nowhere to be seen!"

"Calm down, Lori – it's okay. She must have had a bad dream and came to find me; I was so tired I didn't even hear her." Carol placed a hand on Lori's shoulder and rubbed in small circles. "Usually she prods me awake after a nightmare and we're up for hours until she can get back to sleep."

"The poor baby! Is she okay now?" Lori put a hand against her mouth, feeling terrible that it was her turn to watch out for the children but a few too many glasses of wine had her sleeping deeper than she would have normally done.

"Take a peep inside and you'll see that she obviously found someone else to comfort her last night. She's got her own protection guard in there."

"Huh?" Lori wrinkled her brow in confusion, Carol simply smiled and pushed open the door a little so that Lori could see the other occupants of the room. Lori poked her head through the door and blinked in amazement; the sight of Sophia's hand wrapped around one of Merle's fingers had her sighing softly. Sophia stirred a little at the disturbance and in his sleep Merle angled his body a little closer to her; Sophia's grip tightened and they settled back down.

Lori withdrew her head, but not before she saw the other Dixon brother wrapped around a pillow on the other couch and a Carol size dent in the cushion next to him…

"So how come you ended up sharing a room with both of the Dixon boys, last night Carol?" Lori nudged her shoulder playfully and wanting all of the juicy details. Carol sighed and shook her head.

"It's a long story; lend me a change of clothes and I'll tell you everything."

"Now, that's a deal!" Lori scampered back to her room where a very drunk Rick had passed out on the floor, not making it to the couch when he had returned from his little chat with the Doctor. Lori grabbed a change of clothes for Carol and met her in the rec room. After Carol had taken a quick shower and pulled on the borrowed clothes she sat down next to Lori on the couch and rubbed her hair dry with a towel.

"Do you remember earlier when I remarked that Sophia had a protection guard in the room with her?"

"Yes, but what has that got to do with them sharing your room last night?"

"Morning, ladies. What's that I hear about you sharing your room? I thought that you were going to bunk in with Jacqui?" Dale came into the rec room to return the book that he had borrowed the previous evening and caught the tail end of Lori's remark. "They didn't give you any trouble did they? Carol, I told you to come find me! Do I need to get T-Dog or Rick to have a word with them?"

"Daaaale! Let Carol tell me the story first!" Lori whined as Dale barged in between them on the couch and took Carol's hand, looking at her with concern.

"Dale, honestly I'm fine – they were perfect gentlemen and nothing happened."

"C'mon Carol; dish the dirt!" Lori was nearly bouncing up and down on the seat in girlish excitement. Dale let go off Carol's hand and sat back in a chair opposite, wanting to hear how Carol had gone from setting off to share with Jacqui to sharing her room with two very drunk Dixon men.

"Okay, when I left you last night I was heading to my room when I found Daryl and Merle sprawled across the doorway of my room."

"Both were completely out of their heads, having found a stash of whiskey somewhere….happy drunk though, and a little sloppy." Dale interjected and was shushed by Lori, who flapped her hand at him in an effort for Carol to continue.

"They both insisted that they just had to guard Sophia and I during the night to make sure that nothing bad happened to us…."

"Awwww…that's so sweet! Who'd have thought it, coming from them?"

"Well, actually they've always been pretty good to be and Sophia since they came into camp; they even offered us their tent when Ed kicked us out…"  
"Ed kicked you out? When? Why didn't you say something? I'd have let you girls have the RV." Dale leant forward in the chair again, his eyes shining with remorse. Carol patted his hand and smiled softly.

"It was the night after Daryl beat him up at the quarry; Ed told me that we had no place with him after that and threw our stuff out. Daryl and Merle overheard him and immediately gave us one of their tents – it probably saved our lives; if Ed hadn't have done what he did, we might have all been taken by the Walkers."

"Oh Sweetheart, I'm sorry that we never knew just how bad things were between the two of you, we could've done something way before." Lori leant her head against Carol's shoulder and stroked her back gently in compassion.

"It doesn't matter; it's over now. Anyway Dale managed to get Merle to the couch as I helped Daryl over to the other one; I was going to try and beg a couch from Jacqui but it was getting late and it all seemed like too much effort. I'm glad I didn't after all that, otherwise Sophia wouldn't have known where to look."

"Oh, yeah Dale you **need **to go and sneak a peek in Carol's room. Merle got woken by Sophia having a bad dream last night and you would never guess how he got her back to sleep…." Lori dragged Dale out of the chair and down the corridor to Carol's room. He slipped his head around the door and scratched his balding head in amazement.

"Well Glory be! Ain't that a pretty picture!" He whipped his head back as both of the brother's started to come around at his exclamation and shut the door softly. He nodded over to Carol and pointed at the door.

"You might want to go in there and rescue your little girl, a Dixon with a hangover is likely to be like a grizzly bear with a sore head!"

Strangely enough, neither brother seemed to suffer any ill effects from the night before and were full of apologies for any untoward behaviour.

"Honestly, Merle it's me who should be thanking you," Carol said quietly as the four of them walked down the hall toward the commissary. She looked over at the burly man and gave his arm a slight squeeze, "Sophia told me how kind you were in the night, and how that if she ever has a nightmare again 'Mr. Merle' has told her that he would protect her from all of the monsters. So thank you, Merle; you managed to give a very frightened little girl her first good night's sleep in a long time." Merle hung his head, tips of his ears turning pink with embarrassment; something that amused Carol, for it seemed to be a family trait. She didn't want to cause him any further embarrassment so took Sophia off to sit where the Grimes family had gathered at the end of the long table.

Breakfast was powdered eggs prepared by T-Dog; before all of this had happened none of them would have been too keen on the stuff but after weeks of living off squirrel stew and dried beef jerky; the breakfast tasted like pure ambrosia. To everyone that is, except for Glenn.

"Protein helps the hangover." T-Dog slapped another large helping on Glenn's plate and watched as the young Asian man's face turned even paler.

"Morning." Rick entered the commissary and sat gingerly down at the table.

"Are you hung over?" Carl looked over at his Dad with a grin. "Mom said you'd be."

"Mom is right."

"Mom has that annoying habit." Lori looked down to pick up a piece of bacon off her plate, hiding her grin from her very pasty looking husband. Rick picked up a screw top bottle of aspirin that Doctor Jenner had thoughtfully left out on the table and passed it over to Lori and begged her to put him out of his misery. A sick headache pounded between his eyes and he couldn't focus enough to struggle with the safety cap.

"Don't ever, ever let me drink again…" Glenn leant his head on the hand holding his fork and closed his eyes, Jacqui rubbed his back sympathetically.

"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing," Dale looked up as Edwin strode into the room offering greetings as he headed for the coffee pot. He turned cup in hand and remarked; "But you will anyway."

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Andrea looked over and Edwin knew that it was time to show them the truth. He asked them all to gather in the main lab; the same room that he had first ushered them into the previous evening.

"I'd like to show you something. Vi, give me a playback of 'TS-19' for our guests."

"Playback of TS-19 in progress." The computer generated voice responded and the main screen was filled with static for a moment before the screen filled with medical scans and scrolling information.

"Few people ever got a chance to see this; very few."

"Is that a brain?" Carl's nose screwed up as the screen filled MRI images showing a human brain.

"An extraordinary one…" Edwin leant down to reply and then turned back to the screen and muttered, "not that it matters in the end. Take us in for EIV." Edwin requested.

"Enhanced Internal View." The computer stated and the view enhanced the brain showing synapses firing and lit up from within.

"What are those lights?" Daryl asked, fascinated by the way they looked like little fireworks on the screen.

"That's a person's life; experiences, memories, it's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, in all those little ripples of light…is **you**. The thing that makes you unique and human."

"You don't make sense, ever?" Daryl looked over at Edwin in confusion; all this mumbo jumbo was just scrambling his tired brain and he struggled to make sense of what Edwin was getting at.

"Those are synapses, electrical impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."

"Death? That's what this is? A vigil?" Rick snorted derisively and walked across to stand next to Edwin.  
"Yes. Or rather the…playback of the vigil."

"This person died? Who?" Andrea slipped off the desk she was perched on and walked closer to the screen, she wasn't sure that she wanted to see what was playing, but felt an almost morbid sense of curiousity. _Was this what Amy would have looked like?_

"Test Subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected. And volunteered to have us…record the process." Edwin looked over at Andrea, sorrow shadowing his eyes and then turned back to the screen. "Vi, fast forward to the first event."

"Scanning to first event."

"What is that?" Glenn asked, looking at the darker patches that appeared within the MRI scan of the brain.

"It invades the brain like meningitis," Edwin explained, pointing at the visuals. "The adrenal glands haemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown; then the major organs. Then death."

Sophie shook with fright at the images on screen, Carol held out a hand to beckon her daughter to move closer but Sophia practically launched herself into Merle's lap and his arms instinctively closed around her. He crooned softly in her ear as he stroked her hair. "Don't you worry, Sweet Pea, didn't I tell you that I weren't going to let the monsters get you? Hush now, angel." He nodded over to Carol, indicating that Sophia was fine where she was and carried her out of the sight of the monitors.

"Everything you were or ever will be…gone." Edwin choked slightly on the last words and turned his face away to regain his composure.

"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia whispered to Merle, and he nodded slightly. Andrea overheard Sophia's remark and the thought of her baby sister suffering the same fate had her fighting back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

"She lost somebody two days ago; her sister." Lori stated to Edwin as he noticed Andrea's shining eyes and trembling lips.

"I lost somebody too," Edwin leant closer to Andrea, "I know how devastating it is." He turned back to the screen. "Scan to the second event."  
"Scanning to second event."

"The resurrection times vary wildly; we have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute…seven seconds." Edwin stared at the screen thinking of the countless number of times he had watched this particular playback.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked in amazement, as they watched the darkened brain slowly start flickering with specks of light.

"No," Edwin corrected, "Just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive." Rick stated as he edged closer to the large screen.

"You tell me." Edwin gestured towards the image on the screen and told Rick to take a closer look. Rick stared for a moment and stepped back, shaking his head slowly.

"It's nothing like before, most of that brain is dark."

"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobes - the neocortex, the human part; that doesn't come back. The **you** part," Edwin said, "It's just a shell driven by mindless instinct." They watched as

Merle looked over his shoulder as the replay concluded with the grainy x-ray image of a bullet ploughing through the subjects' brain stem, ceasing all neuro activity.

"God! What was that?" Carol gasped. Andrea recognised the image immediately and stated.

"He shot his patient in the head; didn't you?"

"Vi, power down the main screen."

"Powering down main screen and workstations."

Sophia flinched in his arms as the room was suddenly filled with silence and the monitors went dark. He crooned gently to the little girl and walked back over to where Carol was sitting next to Daryl on the cold concrete floor. He set Sophia down next to her mother and she scrambled into Carol's lap; Daryl reached over to stroke her cheek gently and she gave him a slight, trembling attempt at a smile.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea folded her arms across her body and faced the Doctor.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui's quiet voice came from behind and Edwin nodded in acknowledgment.

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something! Somebody, somewhere." Andrea paced in between the workstations; _they were at the CDC for pete's sake, how could they not know?_

"There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol questioned, desperate for Edwin to say something positive.

"There may be some…people like me."

"You don't know? How can you not know?" Rick paced anxiously, hoping against all hope.

"Everything went down. Communications, directives – all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"So it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere. Nothing. That's what you're really saying, right?" Andrea smiled bitterly at the prospect of spending the rest of her miserable life always looking over her shoulder and sleeping with one eye open.

"Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again." Daryl pressed his palms to his eyes in an effort to keep from crying. He wasn't crying for himself though; no his tears were for Carol and Sophia. They had finally thought that this could be a place to bring them hope and it turned out to be yet another black hole of despair. He shifted his legs closer to touch Carol's and felt Sophia's small hand creeping into his own. He looked across to see Sophia's other hand twisting around Merle's arm and thought about the way all four of them were connected.

Dale looked over to the large digital clock on the wall and noticed that rather than displaying a time the clock appeared to be counting down the minutes.

"Doctor Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but…that clock. It's counting down, what happens at zero?" He hitched a thumb over at the timer and cocked a brow at Edwin.

"The… basement generators, they run out of fuel." Edwin searched for the right words, and finally settled on an approximation of what would happen.

"And then?" Rick questioned, he had seen the Doctor's hesitation and knew that wasn't what Edwin had been going to say. Edwin remained silent and walked away. Rick turned his question to the computer system. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"  
"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This one's a fairly long chapter and remains faithful (apart from the CARYL additions!) to the TS-19 episode in Season One. I wanted to get this out in one hit so that we can move onto the farm - where exciting things are about to happen! Hope you enjoy! xx**

Heavy footsteps echoed down the concrete stairs as Rick led T-Dog, Glenn and Shane down to the basement to check out the generators.

"Decontamination? What does that mean?" Glenn panted out as they ran down another set of stairs, heading further and further underground.

"I don't like the way Jenner clammed up and wandered off like that."

"What's wrong with him? Seriously. Is he nuts? Medicated? What?" T-Dog brought up the rear of their small group as Rick ran his finger over the basement plan tacked to the wall.

"In there." They walked into the generator room and discovered the floor littered with empty fuel drums. Rick ordered them to fan out to check the whole of the large expanse.

"Emergency lighting on."

"What the hell is this?" Shane muttered as the overhead lights flickered and then went dark. A few dim lights brightened the room enough for them to see that there was only one remaining fuel drum, and that it was fairly close to empty.

Back in their room, Lori waved a hand near the ceiling only to discover that the air conditioning system had shut down. She forced a smile over to Carl and tried not to let her concern show on her face; knowing full well that with the air conditioning units powering down, the rest of the building would shortly follow.

After Edwin had made his shock announcement he had returned to his quarters to shave and make himself more presentable. He sat at his desk and picked up a photograph in a gilt edged frame. "I did the best that I could, in the time that I had. I hope you'd be proud of that. " He sniffed back the tears that threatened and pressed a kiss against the cold frame. "We always think there's going to be more time." He walked over to stare out over the dark lab below, hearing the wheeze of the failing generators. "Then it runs out." The hum of the air conditioning stopped completely and the silence was almost deafening. Lights began to flicker in the hallways and the survivors started to pour out of their rooms into the hallway.

"Why's the air off?"  
"And the lights in our room?"

"Why'd everything turn off?"

"Energy use is being prioritised."

"And air isn't a priority?"  
"It's not up to me. Zone Five is shutting itself down."

"Zone Five? Hey! What the Hell does that mean?" Merle pushed his way through the others to where Edwin was making his way into the darkened lab. "Hey, man, I'm talkin' to you. What do you mean it's shutting itself down?" Merle caught hold of Edwin's arm and forced him to face them. "How can a building do anything?"

"You'd be surprised." They were met in the near empty lab by Rick and the others who had made their way up from the basement.

"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick muttered in low tones to the Doctor and Edwin's steps faltered slightly as he turned to face the other man.

"The system is dropping all non-essential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. It started as we approached the half hour mark;" Edwin pointed at the countdown timer on the wall, "right on schedule." Everyone gathered underneath the timer and Edwin looked around their concerned faces. "It was the French," he continued.

"What?"

"They were the last ones to hold out as far as we know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the halls, they stayed in the labs to the end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?" Jacqui questioned softly, seeing the way that Edwin was refusing to look anyone directly in the eyes; there was something he was holding back – but what?

"Same thing that's happening here; no power grid – we ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?" Shane lunged for Edwin, only to be held back by Rick who held out a hand to his wife.

"Lori, grab our things. Everybody – we're getting out of here now!" The group started to break apart in order to run back to their rooms to collect their scattered belongings; they stopped in their tracks when a piercing alarm filled the air.

"What's that?" Rick held onto Carl's shoulder in an effort to calm the boy's panicked expression.

"Thirty minutes to decontamination." Vi's computerised monotone filled the room and all eyes turned to where the countdown timer was now displayed across the large viewscreens.

"Doc, what's going on here, dammit!" Shane called across the room as Rick started to urge everyone to continue gathering their belongings.

"Y'all heard me, now get your stud and let's go!"

"Let's go!" T-Dog waved everyone to follow him up the ramp and into the corridor leading to the rooms they had been using. Rick looked over to see a steel shutter fall down over their escape route.

"Did he just lock us in? He just locked us in!" Glenn stopped halfway across the room and swivelled his head from side to side in full blown panic mode. Edwin took a seat at one of the workstations and stared into the webcam.

"We've hit the thirty minute window; I am recording."

"Momma!" Sophia cried out in panic and stumbled as she raced across the room trying to make her way across to Carol. She was scooped up by Daryl who ran across the length of the room to pass her to her mother. He stood close by their sides; feeling Carol trembling against him. Her claustrophobia was rising with each passing second; as soon as she saw that steel shutter slide down she had been unable to prevent the rising panic. Carol felt Daryl's hand come to rest on her shoulder; half on the yoke of her cotton shirt half on the bare curve of her throat. She felt the length of his arm pressing against her back and the absent stroke of his thumb against her neck; trying to offer comfort. She concentrated on the soothing rhythm of his strokes and forced her breath in and out in an effort to control her demons. Merle was standing on her other side and watched as his brother tried to set Carol at ease; he too could feel the tremors wracking her body and couldn't stand to see her in pain any longer.

"You sonofabitch!" Merle suddenly lunged at Edwin, how could he just sit so calmly at his workstation while all Hell broke loose around him?

"Shane! Shane!" Rick yelled out for Shane to restrain Merle who was racing forward in full attack mode, his whole body vibrating with the force of his fury.

"You let us out!" Merle pulled the Doctor's chair back by grabbing hold of the back of his lab coat and pulling roughly; he raised his arm back ready to bring down an empty whiskey bottle on top of the Doctor' head.

"No, no, don't! Don't do it!" T-Dog and Shane pulled him back and Shane wrestled the bottle out of Merle's grip.

"Jenner, open that door now." Rick kept his voice deliberately calm and even; just like he was negotiating a hostage release. Edwin sat back in his chair and straightened his once pristine lab coat and tie.

"There's no point, everything topside is locked down and the emergency exits are sealed."

"Well, open the damned things!" Merle exclaimed, ready to grab Carol and Sophia and bolt for the door.

"That's not something I control; the computers do. I told you… once that front door closed it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that. It's better this way."

"What is? What happens in twenty eight minutes?" Rick leant over Edwin's workstation and planted his fist firmly down; making Edwin face him. "What happens in twenty eight minutes?" he repeated more forcefully this time. Shane moved behind the Doctors chair, preparing to 'help' Edwin to his feet if necessary.

"You** know **what this place is! We protected the public from **very** nasty stuff!" Edwin got right up in Shane's face as he almost screamed out the words. "Weaponised smallpox!" He turned towards Carol huddling Sophia in front of her; both cringing at his very Ed-like tones. Daryl stopped his gentle caress of Carol's neck and stepped forward threateningly; Edwin seemed to get the message and pivoted on his feet to address his next comments to Andrea and Dale, who were standing close together nearest the monitors. "Ebola strains to wipe out half the country! Stuff that you don't want getting out! **Ever**!" Edwin realised that he was raging like a madman and made a conscious effort to bring himself under control. He crossed back over to his workstation and rubbed a hand over his face as he sat back down. He took a calming breath and continued in a more professional tone – "In the event of a catastrophic power failure and a terrorist attack, for example, HITs are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"HITs?" Rick questioned, it was not a term that he was familiar with. Edwin dropped his gaze and addressed the computer.

"Vi – define."

"HIT – High Impulse Thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum pressure ignites the oxygen between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees, and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired." As Vi droned on mechanically Carol collapsed in tears and remained upright only due to the supporting arms of Daryl and Merle across her back. Sophia stretched out a hand and was clinging tightly to Merle's hand with her head buried at Carol's waist shaking with fear.

"It sets the air on fire." Edwin summed up and Rick turned slowly watching the faces of his group one by one. "No pain. An end to sorrow. Grief. Regret. Everything." There was silence as the group tried to absorb the information; silence that was only broken when Merle threw the empty of

""Open the damn door!"

"Outta my way!" Shane raced up the ramp, hefting a machete over his head and tossing the pick axe to Merle. Together they pounded furiously at the steel plate, barely even scratching the surface despite their best efforts.

"You should have left well enough alone, it would have been so much easier."

"Easier for who?" Lori bitterly rebutted and Edwin swivelled around in his chair to face the woman; trying so desperately to calm her very frightened son.

"All of you. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and an agonising death. Your sister…what was her name?" Edwin called over to Andrea who was sitting with her arms crossed over upraised knees.

"Amy." She looked up and quietly replied.

"Amy," Edwin repeated. "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that what you really want for your wife and son?" Edwin addressed the last remark to Rick who had crossed over to kneel beside Lori and Carl. Rick rose to his feet and spat out a harsh reply.

"I don't **want** this!"

"I cain't make a dent." Shane leant exhaustedly over a nearby workstation and shared a frustrated glance with Rick.

"Those doors are designed to withhold a rocket launcher."

"Well, your head ain't!" Merle rushed forward, pick axe raised high and heading straight for Edwin.

"Merle! Merle! Back off!" It took Rick, Shane, Dale and T-Dog to get the furious Merle to back away from Edwin and he stalked back to where Daryl was squatting in a corner trying to comfort a quietly weeping Carol and Sophia.

"You do want this." Edwin said to Rick. "Last night, you said that you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."

"You really said that? After all your big talk?" Shane rested his chin against his hands where he leant over a work partition and looked over at his former partner.

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" Rick turned to look at Lori, seeing the total devastation on her face.

"There is no hope. There never was."

"There is **always **hope. Maybe not it won't be you and maybe not here, but somebody, **somewhere.**"

"Which part of everything is gone do you not understand?" Andrea retorted and looked up at Rick.

"Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our…extinction event."

"This isn't right! You can't just keep us here!" Carol cried out in despair, hugging Sophia to her chest and exchanging a long glance with Daryl.

"One tiny moment, a millisecond. No pain." Edwin leant over the desk and looked over at the crying Carol who had collapsed against Daryl's side unable to look at Edwin any longer. Daryl looked down at Carol and then Sophia and raised furious eyes to the other man.

"Sophia doesn't deserve to die like this! None of us do!" Sophia crawled off of Carol's lap and into Merle's waiting arms. He hugged the little girl close to his chest and smoothed her hair away from her hot, tear stained cheeks. Carol turned her head into Daryl's shoulder and let her angry tears soak into his shirt.

"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?" Edwin kept his voice light and his words soothing in an attempt to make everyone see that his was the most sensible option. The sound of a cocked gun soon became apparent that Shane did not share his opion.

"Now you open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off! You hear me?"

"Brother, this is **not **the way! You do this and we'll never get out of here." Rick whispered calmly in Shane's ear, attempting to talk him out of making a really bad decision.

"Shane, you listen to him!" Lori hissed over.

"If he dies, we all die!" Rick tried again to get Shane to put the shotgun down, Shane roared loudly and pressed the barrel right up against Edwin's face before whirling around to shoot out the workstations around the room.

"Shane!" Rick wrestled Shane for the gun, trying to stop him before he accidently hurt someone; he could see the hot mask of fury clouding his friend's eyes and knew that Shane could see nothing but the red blaze of anger. Rick managed to get the gun away and slammed Shane down to the ground with the butt of the weapon.

"Are you done now? Are you done?"

"Yeah, I guess we all are." Shane replied despondently, looking up at Rick from the floor.

"I think you're lying." Rick stated to Edwin after a moment.

"What?"

"You're lying. About no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest and taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. It **always **matters." Rick crouched down to catch Edwin in the eye. "You stayed when the others ran. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise. To her." Edwin pointed a finger at the darkened screen of the monitors. "My wife."

"Test Subject 19 was your wife?" Lori asked, horrified at the thought that he would have made himself watch the deterioration of a loved one; knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent the end result.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying." Edwin looked over to where Merle had resumed trying to break his way through the steel door with the pick axe. "It should have been me on that table. It wouldn't have mattered to anyone. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she even ran this place – I just worked here. In our field she was an Einstein! Me? I just…Edwin Jenner. She could have done something about this. Not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's…all we want. A choice. A chance." Rick tried again to make Edwin change his mind and release the door locks.

"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori pleaded and Edwin felt his resolve falter at the look in her eyes.

"I told you topside's a lockdown. I can't open those." Edwin brushed past Rick and headed over to his workstation to swipe his key card against the reader. The door slowly rose open and Merle shouted at everyone to clear the room.

"Come on, let's go!"

"Move it! Move it! Move it!" T-Dog herded everyone up the ramps at a fast pace and Lori urged Carl to stick to her side, no matter what.

"There's your chance," Edwin said, gesturing at the open door. "Take it."

"I'm grateful."

"The day will come when you won't be." Rick held out his hand and Edwin shook it slowly before pulling the other man close and whispering something in his ear. Rick went pale at the other man's words and caught his gaze as Edwin slowly pulled back. He nodded his head in understanding and stepped away to make his way to the exit.

"Hey! We've got four minutes left! Come on!" Glenn yelled from the top of the ramp; knowing that they still had to make their way up five levels and through the top level doors until they reached freedom.

"Let's go! Let's go, Jacqui!" T-Dog wrapped his arm around Jacqui's waist and was surprised when she pulled back and shook her head in denial.

"I'm staying! I'm staying, sweetie."

"But that's insane!" T-Dog came down the ramp a few paces and placed his hand on Jacqui's arm.

"No, it's completely sane. For the first time in a long time. I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy. There's no time to argue. And no point, not if you want to get out. Just get out. Get out!" Shane looked over and passed Daryl's crossbow over to Rick and made his way down the ramp to where T-Dog was pleading with Jacqui not to stay.

"Hey, Dog. Come on, man. Come on! Let's go, let's go!" He grabbed T-Dog by the arm and pulled him up the slope. Dale watched as Jacqui stepped back into the room and raised an eyebrow over to Andrea.

"I'm staying too." She announced softly, having made up her mind as soon as she saw Jacqui was staying behind.

"Andrea, no!" Dale pleaded and turned to wave the others to continue without him. "Just go! Go!" He crouched down before Andrea and clasped her hands tightly. "You can't! This isn't what Amy would want for you!"

"She's dead," Andrea replied, refusing to meet Dale's gaze, "And you need to leave."

Meanwhile the rest of the group had raced up the five stairwells; Daryl carrying Sophia on his back and Merle with Carl on his. They reached the lobby and set the children down by the internal staircase.

"Daryl!" Shouted Shane, as he tossed him the pick axe and both men started pounding against the large glass plated windows. Even a steel frame chair tossed at the window failed to even make a crack. In desperation, Shane loaded his shotgun and emptied the full chamber straight at the glass. "Jesus!" He hissed as the glass refused to break.

"Rick, I have something that might help." Carol rose to her feet and scrambled about in her purse. "Carol, I don't think a nail files gonna do it." Shane muttered sarcastically as Carol walked toward Rick holding out something in her hand.

"The first morning you came, when I washed your uniform? I found this in your pocket." She opened her hand to reveal a hand grenade that Rick had removed from the tank in Atlanta.

"I think I could kiss you right now," Rick exclaimed as he took the grenade from her hand. A low grumble from the corner had him looking over to see both Dixon boys wearing an expression that clearly read 'back off, or else'. He warned everyone to stand back and waited until everyone was under cover before he set it against the window and pulled the pin.

"Oh Shi…"Rick dived for cover as the glass exploded, sending him clear across the lobby.  
Back in the main room, Dale took a seat on a rolling chair across from Andrea and stated – "Okay, you win."

"What are you doing?" Andrea looked up as Dale wiped his hand across his nose and sniffed loudly.

"I said, okay."

"Don't pull this, Dale." Andrea shook her head at the older man, not wanting him to throw his life away because of her.

"I'm not pulling anything! If you're staying, I stay, too. He's right. We know what's waiting for us out there. I don't want to face it alone." Dale finished talking and looked away from Andrea, trying to control his tears.

"Dale…." Andrea whispered, overcome with the thought that this kind and caring man would be willing to sacrifice his life for her. "Get the Hell out! I don't want you here!"

"Too bad, you don't get to do that, to come into somebody's life, make them care, and then just check out!" Dale blustered loudly and Andrea dropped her gaze to her knees as Dale continued more softly, "I'm staying. The matter is settled."

Rick and the others raced across the grassy courtyard of the complex; taking down the few Walkers that littered the area, trying to make their way to the RV and jeep. They clambered inside the various vehicles; Rick jumped into the driver's seat of the RV with Glenn, Lori, and Carl piling into the back. Sophia had refused to let go of Merle's hand and he simply swept her up and plunked her in the middle of the bench seat of Daryl's truck; with his bike strapped to the back as Daryl hopped in the driving seat of Carol's Cherokee and started the engine with a roar. T-Dog had his church van whilst Shane swung himself into his little jeep, throwing the shotguns in the back. Rick was about to lead the convoy out of the complex when Lori suddenly pointed at something out of the window.  
"Wait! They're coming!" Rick peered through the side window as they saw Andrea and Dale carefully climbing through the shattered glass of the lobby and racing through the fallen Walkers to reach the vehicles before the building exploded.

Back in the main room, Edwin watched the video feed from the entrance and muttered in surprise. "They got out!" He turned to Jacqui and they clasped hands as the numbers on the clock continued to count down; sixteen, fifteen, fourteen…

Rick blasted the horn in warning as his watch told him that the time was up.

"Dale get down!" He screamed through the window and Dale pulled Andrea behind a wall of sandbags. "Everyone in the back! Get down!" Rick herded his family into the back of the RV as Merle and Daryl threw themselves over the Peletier females in order to keep them from seeing what was happening in front of them. A huge wall of fire shot out of the windows with a roar and a spread across the parking lot in an intense wave of heat.

After the initial burst, Dale peeked his head above the sandbags and wrenched Andrea to her feet. Glenn threw open the RV's door and Dale pushed Andrea inside before climbing aboard himself. Rick slowly turned the RV around and the other's followed suit, everyone's eyes pulled back to the black cloud of smoke drifting over to block out the sun. They didn't know where they were heading; there had been no time to make any decisions – they just drove.


	11. Chapter 11

"Rick, you got any moves left?" Shane slumped on the floor of the RV, breathing heavily. He'd leapt out of the moving vehicle and sprinted across the burning tarmac when he'd realised that in all of the panic they had dropped the two Sheriff bags containing their weapons. Rick's eyes flicked back to his friend and pondered on the question for a moment.

"Yeah," he drawled softly, "I got one." Shane rubbed his hand across his damp brow and looked over to where Rick's hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white under the pressure.

"Is it good?"

"It occurs to me that we have friends in this town," Rick said quietly and turned around to take a quick look at Glenn, "Glenn, what do you think?" Glenn's eyebrows raised up so high that they nearly disappeared under the brim of his baseball cap.

"Yeah!"

"It will buy us some time, a night or two until we figure out where we're heading…"

"The nursing home…Guillermo and his people…" Glenn leant forward excitedly, nearly falling off the table he was perched on.

"The people that took you hostage?" Dale exclaimed, Rick and Shane had told them over dinner exactly what had kept them so long in the City when they had gone back in to retrieve Rick's gun bag; how Glenn had been taken hostage by what they had originally thought were a street gang…only the group had turned out to be something far more humane. Guillermo was leading a small group of young men and women; their sole purpose to defend a small nursing home whose staff had deserted their elderly patients, leaving them to suffer and defenceless against the Walkers.

"We parted on good enough terms…"

The caravan slowly followed Rick back into the heart of the city and into an overgrown back alley which would eventually lead into the nursing home itself.

"Don't be alarmed at the state of the grounds; Guillermo has blocked off the front entrance to prevent any scavengers from coming around. We have to go around back and through the abandoned factory to get into the main building."

"It looks like they're barely hanging on, what makes you think that they'd be willing to take in a bunch of strangers?" Andrea's eyes took in the signs of decay all around as they carefully made their way over crumbling walls and smashed concrete.

"All those guns Rick gave 'em…they'd probably throw us a party." Daryl hoisted his cross bow over his shoulder and nodded his head toward Rick. "Good call." He stepped through a brick doorway that had no door and turned back to help Carol and Sophia through the gap; Merle followed next and made sure that both Carol and Sophia stayed sandwiched between him and Daryl at all times.

"Where are the lookouts?" Glenn scanned around the overgrown courtyard that lead into the factory, but could see no sign of Guillermo or his men. They continued to approach the factory slowly and as they turned the corner, they saw the reason why Guillermo had apparently abandoned the complex.

"Son of a Bitch!" Shane exclaimed softly, as they saw Walkers feeding all some of the men they had met at the home. The men drew their guns and shots fired in a barrage, taking down the Walkers. Warning everyone to keep close, Rick urged them to hurry as he led them through the factory and into the dim hallways of the nursing home. Sophia whimpered at the sight of the dead bodies lying along the hallways; it looked as though many of the residents had been killed in their own rooms.

"Sssh, sweet pea." Merle patted Sophia on the back as she continued to cry, many of the residents reminded her of her grandparents and the thought of them dying in this way made her cry even harder.

"Put a sock in it!" Shane snapped at the little girl and Daryl whirled around in fury.

"Leave her alone!" He raised his crossbow threateningly, and Shane stepped forward to point his finger in Daryl's face.

"Shut her up, or I will!" Shane's only thought was to keep the group safe and silent, who knew what could be waiting around the next corner; he knew that his tone was harsh but the last thing they needed was for a hysterical little girl announcing their presence to all and sundry.

"Back the Hell off! I mean now!" Lori stepped between the two men and held out her hands for them to calm down, she turned to Rick, "Are we staying or going?"

"We're staying, we don't have the fuel."

"We hunker down for the night. Me, Rick and Daryl will sweep the building to make sure we're alone. The rest of you barricade those doors with anything that you can find." Shane moved down the hallway, gun raised high. Daryl looked over at Merle, who took a step closer to Sophia and nodded back to his brother. Satisfied that Merle would keep them both safe, Daryl moved silently down the corridor to follow Rick and Shane.

Merle left Carl and Sophia sitting on the lower steps of the staircase; holding onto each other's hands tightly and gave T-Dog a hand in moving hospital beds across the double doors to block the hallway. Andrea and Dale piled small patient lockers on top of the beds, and before too long the doors were secure. A shuffling sound from the hallway beyond had him placing a finger up to his lips and gesturing for everyone to drop down to the ground. Carl and Sophia huddled close to each other and Carl gripped Sophia's hand tightly.

_Ssh, don't move. It's okay. It's okay. _He mouthed the words silently to the younger girl and hugged her to his side, wanting to protect her as best that he could for his young years. Carol glanced over to make sure that her daughter was okay and the fear in her eyes softened as she saw the tender way that Carl was holding Sophia to him.

When it was clear, Merle led everyone away from the doors and into the large entertainment room on the ground floor.

"Upstairs is our best bet, we've cleared a few rooms and can barricade those if we have too. We'll be alright." Rick faced the tired and frightened members of the group, letting his eyes linger on them individually one by one.

"Do you mean it this time? Or are you just lying to us like all the times before?" Carol hugged Sophia on her lap and turned accusing eyes on Rick. Lori stepped forward, ready to defend her husband.

"That's unfair, and no help at all." Rick glanced over to his wife, thanking her with his eyes.

"What the Hell happened?" Glenn stood by the open doorway, shocked at the bodies carelessly strewn across the floor.

"What do you think?" Andrea muttered sarcastically, "They got overrun." Daryl scoffed at her words and shared a glance with Merle. Both of them could see clearly what had gone down, and it wasn't anything to do with the undead.

"You got something to say?" Andrea folded her arms across her chest and looked over at Daryl.

"Yeah, how about 'observant'?"

"Big word for a guy like you." She turned her back on him in dismissal. "Three whole syllables."

"Walkers didn't do this!" Daryl spread his arms out to encompass the whole room. "Geeks didn't show up until all this went down. Somebody attacked this place…killed all these people…and took whatever they wanted." He crossed over to where Rick was kneeling near the body of an elderly gentleman, "They were shot in the head…execution style. Y'all worried about Walkers?" Daryl glanced around the room, settling his gaze on Carol. "I'd be more worried about the people that came in here and did all this. Get a dictionary," He addressed his last remark to Andrea. "Look it up." He pointed his finger to his head – "Observant."

A little later the group settled down for the night in what used to be the crafts room. "Whoever hit this place cleared it all out. They even hit the dispensary too; cleared the door off its hinges. Left us with just the one can." Rick strode into the room, frustration marring his features with a frown; he tossed the can over to Daryl who turned it over in his hands.

"They took everything apart from cough drops and… garbanzo beans." He opened the can and Glenn passed out stacks of paper plates.

"Is there any water?" Sophia asked softly, Shane searched through his bag and came up with a single bottle.

"Just the one bottle that I brought." He tossed the bottle in his hand and passed it over to Carol, advising her quietly – "Just a few sips, make it last. It's got to go around everybody, okay?"

"What else you got in there?" Lori asked as Shane continued to rummage in his bag, he pulled out a bag of chips and shook them.

"Salty snacks courtesy of the CDC!" He tossed the bag over to Daryl to add to their meagre food stores and delved in once more. "I thought I'd be having midnight snacks in my air-conditioned room." He tossed several more bags across the room. "I didn't know it would be dinner. Last item." He pulled out a bottle of scotch and held it up for inspection.

"Like to share?" Daryl stopped chewing a mouthful of beans and cocked his head toward the bottle. "Seeing that I owe you my life, seems only fair." Shane passed the bottle across with a rueful smile, it had been Daryl that had noticed Shane sprinting across the parking lot to retrieve the fallen weapons and had honked his horn to get the moving vehicles to stop in order for Shane to make it back to the RV.

"Well, I think that I deserve the first swallow…"

"Let's try and get some sleep – as best we can anyway. We've got a long journey ahead of us tomorrow." Rick looked over at the tired group and sat down next to Lori and Carl; pulling them both into his sides. He leant his head back against the wall and watched as the Dixons settled themselves either side of Carol and Sophia. Daryl was careful to always keep a small distance between himself and Carol whenever he thought that anyone was watching; but Rick had caught the little touches that Daryl seemed completely unaware that he was making; even as he drifted into sleep his head angled in her direction as if he were trying to keep that little bit of contact. Merle had slumped sideways in the corner with Sophia draped across his lap like a cat; keeping one firm hand across her back to reassure himself that she wasn't going anywhere.


	12. Chapter 12

_"I guess I'm losing hope that you can hear me. But there's always that chance, isn't there? That slim chance. It's all about slim chances now. I tried to do everything right, keep people safe. I tried, Morgan; I tried. Our groups smaller now, we lost another day before last. It was her choice, I won't say I blame her. She lost faith. The CDC was a dead end. I met a man there, a scientist. He told me something. He told me… It doesn't matter. What matters is we're moving on. Atlanta's done, we're gonna try for Fort Benning. We're facing a long, hard journey, maybe even harder than I can imagine. But it can't be harder than our journey's been so far. Can it? A hundred, twenty five miles, that's what lies ahead – and I'm trying hard not to lose faith. I can't – if I do, the others; my family, my wife, my son… There's just a few of us now. So we've got to stick together, fight for each other, be willing to lay down our lives for each other if it comes to that. It's the only chance we've got. Be careful out there, Morgan. I hope you and Duane are okay. Stay off the road. Keep moving. Keep your eyes open. I don't know, just be safe. Maybe we'll see you in Fort Benning someday. Rick signing off."_

Rick thought about that last transmission that he'd made to Morgan. It had been over a week since they left the burnt out shell of the CDC and the nursing home behind them. It had taken them a couple of days to manoeuvre their way beyond the city limits; sleeping in their cars and scavenging what they could along the way. The group had made the decision during the long night at the nursing home to try for Shane's original suggestion of Fort Benning which lay some 125 miles to the South. They'd made the decision to pare down the vehicles and had siphoned the fuel out of Shane's Jeep and T-Dog's church van behind before they left the nursing home were now crammed into either Daryl's truck, Dale's RV or Carol's Cherokee.

They were currently making slow progress along Highway 85 with Merle leading the way on his Chopper out in front. Carol and Sophia were riding along with Daryl; the Grimes family had commandeered Carol's Cherokee with everyone else piled into the RV. Merle suddenly came to a stop and wheeled the chopper around to wave his arms in the air signalling for everyone to stop.

"Oh, jeez…" Dale looked ahead to see a heavy goods truck, lying on its side across the road. He leant out of the window to call down to Merle.

"You see a way through?" Merle nodded his head, and slowly started to lead the caravan of vehicles through the blocked Highway; weaving through the abandoned cars and strewn bodies.

"Can we get through here?" Glenn peered through the cracked windscreen as the gaps ahead seemed impossibly small. A sudden pop and hiss from under the hood, had the RV grinding to a suddenly to a halt. Dale slapped his hand on the steering wheel in frustration.

"Damn and blast it!" Puffs of steam were hissing through the radiator grill and the RV came to a grinding halt. Dale and Glenn walked around to the front of the vehicle and pulled the grill down to see where the root of the problem was. "Cracked radiator hose again! I told you we should have stripped out that truck back in Atlanta!"

"Look, Dale – there's probably plenty of hoses right along this stretch of road. Why don't you explain to Merle exactly what you need, if you can't find a hose among this lot –then you aren't going to find one anywhere. There must be at least a hundred cars just along this little stretch alone." Rick peered into the steamy mess of the RV's innards and hoped that he looked like he knew what he was talking about – when it came to mechanics he knew how to check the plugs and change the oil and that was about the extent of his abilities. It was always Shane that had to come over and rescue him whenever a little run of the mill maintenance got out of hand.

"Yeah, I can take care of that. Might be an idea for everyone to take a gander along this little stretch – must be all sorts of things that we could use." Merle looked at the overloaded vehicles stretching out along the Highway and could already see a couple of things that could come in handy; there was a car just ahead with its roof completely covered in camping equipment.

"I can start to syphon some of the fuel from these cars for a start." T-Dog grabbed a can and a length of rubber tubing and headed off into the midst.

"Maybe some water," suggested Carol; thinking that they should stock up on whatever they could scavenge.

"Or some food?" called out Glenn, thinking that he was hungry even if no one else was.

""This is a graveyard," Lori said with a shiver, "I don't know how I feel about this."

"Come on y'all, take a look around, gather what you can." Shane waved a hand to get everyone moving.

"If everyone just stays alert, it will be fine. Dale, why don't you hop up on the roof of the RV and keep an eye out to the North. I'll take the South – stay focused and stay safe." Rick handed over a rifle and binoculars to Dale, keeping a rifle for himself. The group dispersed along the quiet stretch of road, gingerly opening doors not knowing whether the bodies inside were dead or **really **dead.

"Hey Carl?" Lori called over to her son, "Always within my sight, okay?"

Shane made the best find of the day when he opened a roller door of a large truck to reveal it full of water coolers.

"Glenn?" Shane called over, "Were we short on water?" He wrenched off one of the tops and gasped as the refreshing liquid poured over his head and neck.

"Hey! Save me some!" Glenn hollered over, and Shane waved a hand to indicate that he'd heard but did not withdraw his head from under the coolers. Rick chuckled at Shane's behaviour and then something in Dale's expression had him lifting his rifle up to scan the Highway through the scope.

"Oh, Christ! Walkers!" He hissed and weaved through the cars making sure that he remained low, to reach the scattered group. "Lori!" He hissed, "Under the cars!" Lori looked up at his urgent tone and dropped and rolled. "Carl, Sophia, get down now."

Shane grabbed Glenn and they rolled under the RV, Dale pressed himself flat to the roof and Rick crouched low in between the vehicles in order to keep an eye on the situation.

Carol and Daryl rolled under a truck and she looked across to see Sophia and Carl scramble under the vehicle in front of them. Daryl wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed lightly in warning as the Walkers started to shuffle past the vehicles. Rick dropped and rolled under the Cherokee and managed to catch the children's eye as he pressed a finger to his lips to indicate they should remain quiet at all costs. Carl stretched his hand across the tarmac to grip Sophia's hand as the shuffles and grunts grew louder as the herd drew closer.

Carol couldn't help the little gasp that escaped as she watched the Walkers hesitate near the truck that Sophia was hiding under. Daryl quickly pressed his hand over her mouth to muffle the noise and held it there until he was sure that Carol had herself under control. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, making the blue orbs sparkle even brighter, but she nodded slightly and he removed his hand. Carol caught Rick's worried gaze as he held up his hand indicating that the danger had not yet passed.

T-Dog had the misfortune of skidding on the tarmac which was sticky with bloody matter and tearing a gash along his arm. Blood spurted from the wound and he pressed his hand to it in an attempt to stem the flow. Merle had rolled under a camper van just a few cars over and he quickly saw that T-Dog was in danger of losing consciousness and becoming Walker bait. He squirmed out from under the camper and half crawled over to where a Walker had caught the scent of the fresh blood. Merle reached up a hand and stabbed a long handled screwdriver up into the Walkers brain stem and just as quickly yanked it out. He caught the Walker before it could hit the ground and lay it over T-Dog's prone body, miming a zipper across his lips as the other man's eyes flickered open in panic as he registered the weight. Merle quickly lay flat on the road surface and pulled another dead Walker body across his own, hoping that the rotten scent would hide his own distinctly human smell.

Everyone remained in their positions for what seemed like hours; when in reality it couldn't have been more than ten or fifteen minutes. Rick scanned his eyes quickly between cars and held up five fingers to indicate that they should stay where they were for another five minutes just to be on the safe side. Sophia, however had her head turned away at that time and only turned back after Rick had set his hand down. Thinking that it was all clear she started to scrambled out from under the truck; only to find herself targeted by a lone walker at the rear of the herd that dropped to the ground and started edging under the truck in an effort to get to her.

Sophia screamed loudly and rolled out completely from under the truck and set off at a run towards the guardrail. She edged herself underneath the rail and plunged into the grassy area below. Carol cried out at the sight of her little girl facing down the horrific creature and Daryl rolled over to trap her with his own body weight; feeling her trying to buck him off.

"Hush up, woman! Do you want the whole herd back after us? Look, Rick's gone after her….see?" Daryl moved his mouth directly over Carol's ear and lifted his weight just enough for her to roll her head around so that she could see Rick plunging over the guard rail in hot pursuit. Lori was also watching her husband chase after the little girl and gasped in horror as two more Walkers followed their trail. She turned her head to look over at Carl and her heart wrenched when she saw the little boy crying for his lost friend. Lori turned her head the other way and saw that Daryl had moved off Carol and was holding her hand tightly to prevent her from going after her daughter.

Rick chased after Sophia, breathing heavily and crashing through the heavy scrub. He made a dive for the little girl and quickly checked her over to make sure that she hadn't been bitten.

"Are you all right? Are you okay?"

"Shoot them!" Sophia struggle within Rick's arms, small hands reaching down to try and wrestle his pistol from the holster around his hips.

"No, no! Those Walkers on the road would hear it. Then it wouldn't just be two, it'd be hundreds. Come here, come on." Rick pulled her away from the gun and swept her up in his arms to dash through the bushes. He set her down gently and explained what he needed her to do in a low, urgent tone. "All right, just hold here. You stay there." He jumped down the bank and into a small stream and turned to help Sophia down. He pointed toward where a tree had fallen over the stream, creating a perfect little cave for the little girl to hide under. "Sophia, you have to do exactly as I say. Hide in there, squeeze in tight. I'll draw them away from you."

"No, no, don't leave me!" Sophia pleaded with Rick and he crouched down to explain.

"Listen, listen, listen. They don't get winded. I do. I can only deal with then one at a time. I wouldn't be able to protect you." Sophia nodded slowly; she was holding the little rag doll that Eliza Morales had given her tightly and Rick noticed that she had a nervous habit of picking at a fluffy, purple hairband that she wore around her wrist like a bracelet. He bent down to cradle her head between his hands, "This is how we both survive. You understand? Okay? Go, go, go." He helped Sophia down into the shallow cave under the tree and pressed his finger to his lips in warning. "If I don't make it back you run like hell back to the Highway back to the others, straight the way we came. Keep the sun on your left shoulder and you don't stop. Do you understand, Sophia? You **don't** stop." Rick looked up as the Walkers approached the edge of the stream and splashed his hand through the water to attract their attention.

"Come on!" Rick edged back, continuing to splash the water until he was sure that both of their attention was firmly fixed on him. He started leading them away from where Sophia was hiding, trying to draw them as far away as possible. When they took the bait, he ducked behind a tree and picked up a rock; hefting it in his hands to judge the weight. Rick waited until he heard their ambling footsteps stirring up the leaves and leapt out; smashing the rock over the first Walkers head and then whirling around to do the same with the second. He made it back the stream and bent down to help Sophia out from under the tree, only to find that she had gone. He checked around the area and didn't see any indication of Walker activity apart from the footprints where he had led the two Walkers away from Sophia.

"I guess she decided not to wait for me after all. Can't say that I blame her for that." Rick smiled ruefully, glad that she hadn't panicked but a little disappointed that she hadn't waited a little longer for his return. That smile faltered and turned to panic he climbed the slight incline that led to the guardrail to see Carol looking over his shoulder, distress lining her face.

"Where's Sophia?"


	13. Chapter 13

_Where's Sophia?_

_She's not back?_

_Where's Sophia? Where's Sophia? Where's Sophia? _

"I left her right here." Rick shook his head to clear it from the sound of Carol's whispered words, drumming again and again in his brain and pointed his hand at the tree where he had last seen the nine year old. Daryl, Merle, Rick, Shane and Glenn were combing the woodland for any signs of the little girl who had appeared to vanish without a trace. Daryl and Merle had immediately gathered enough weaponry together to bring down a small army and had set off before Rick could climb back over the guardrail; and even now were throwing him disgusted looks at his incompetence.

"I drew the Walkers away off in that direction up the creek."

"Without a paddle…seems where we've landed." Merle exchanged a glance with his brother, and Daryl shook his head; this was no time to crack funnies.

"She was gone by the time I got back here. I figured she just took off and ran back to the group. I told her go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder."

"Hey Short Round! Why don't you step off to one side? You're mucking up the trail!" Daryl inspected the ground and called up to Glenn to move his feet.

"Assuming she knows her left from her right," Shane commented sardonically, scanning the area for Walker activity.

"Shane, she understood me fine."

"The kid's tired and scared, man. She had her close call with two Walkers – I kinda wonder just how much of what you said stuck." Shane ran a weary hand through his sweat soaked hair and looked over at his friend.

"Got a footprint!" Merle shouted jubilantly, and Daryl hurried over to take a closer look. Both men crouched down to examine the tracks. Daryl looked over at Rick – "She did like you said, headed back to the Highway. Let's spread out!"

"She couldn't have gotten very far – let's go!" Rick scrambled up the bank and followed closely behind Merle and Daryl. Daryl led the way, stopping every so often to check the direction of the trail.

"She was doing just fine…until right here." Daryl stopped the search and crouched down to examine where Sophia's footsteps suddenly changed direction. Merle knelt by his side and concurred with Daryl's thoughts. "Look's like she veered off that way – **away** from the Highway."

"Why would she do that?" Glenn questioned, nervously looking over his shoulder at every rustle; he was a city boy through and through; although he had been raised in Michigan he had moved to Atlanta in his early twenties and had barely ventured out of the city limits since then.

"Maybe she saw something? Spooked her – made her run off?" Shane knelt by Daryl and peered through the bushes ahead.

"Walker?" Glenn suggested and both Daryl and Merle should their heads.

"Don't see any other footprints – just hers."

"So what do we do? Should all of us press on? Gonna be dark soon…" Shane looked up at the darkening sky and then over at Rick.

"No…better if you and Glenn get back up to the Highway. People'll start panicking; let them know that we're on her trail; doing everything we can. Most of all keep everybody calm."

"I'll keep 'em busy scavenging cars and think up a few other chores. I'll keep 'em occupied until you get back. C'mon, Glenn." Shane cocked his head to the side and he and Glenn slowly made their way back.

"Her tracks are gone…" Rick sighed heavily; he, Merle and Daryl had been following Sophia's footprints for more than a mile when Rick suddenly noticed that he could no longer follow the trail.

"They ain't gone – they're faint; but they ain't gone. She came through here." Daryl moved forward, his keen eyesight picking up the trail and pointing it out to Rick.

"How can you tell? I don't see anything – dirt, grass." Rick followed behind Daryl with Merle chuckling in the background.

"Listen to him, Rick. My lil brother knows what he's talking about. It's what he does for a living…" Daryl turned back to stare pointedly at Merle, who just shrugged his shoulders in a 'so what?' gesture. "Yeah, Daryl here's one of the best at what he does – used to work all over the world. It don't matter what he's tracking or in what terrain; he can pick up a trail that even a dog couldn't follow."

"Shut up, Merle!" Daryl was uncomfortable with Merle waxing lyrical about his abilities; he'd always had a keen eye for details but this only improved as he grew up. Daryl had been part of an International Team that specialised in rescue missions all around the globe. He'd been involved in countless missions tracking lost children across deserts; mountains and even across the wide open space of Alaska once; and in his spare time took parties of hunters out in the woods tracking game; but this particular rescue had him churning in the gut over what he might find at the end of the trail. "You want a lesson in trackin' or you wanna find that girl and get our ass back on that Interstate?"

About a mile ahead, they dropped to the ground at the sound of heavy rustling in the trees ahead. It was far too loud to have been made by a little girl. Merle darted ahead in the trees and whistled a signal back to Daryl. At the noise the Walker turned around only to be greeted by one of Daryl's arrows flying through the air to bury itself in its skull. Daryl leant over to retrieve his arrow and wiped the mess down leg of his pants.

"Sophia!" He called, hoping to hear her response….nothing. Merle indicated that he would keep watch and started to circle the area; scanning for any movement out of the ordinary. Rick knelt down next to the fallen Walker and pulled a pair of heavy work gloves out of his pocket.

"What are you looking for?"

"Skin under the fingernails." Rick examined the Walker carefully, noticing the blood coating the mouth and running down the chin. "It fed recently; there's flesh caught in its teeth." Rick prised apart the Walker's jaws feeling for the edge of the flesh and pulling it out into the light.

"Yeah, but what kind of flesh?"

"Only one way to know for sure…" Rick felt in his pocket for his knife and held his breath for a moment before leaning down to cut away the Walkers clothes; exposing the abdomen. Daryl gently pushed him to one side and flipped out his Bowie knife.

"Here, I'll do it. How many kills you skin and gutted in your life anyway? Mine's sharper." Daryl cut through the flesh in a sawing motion, Rick squeezed his face at the squelching sounds the sharp blade made against the rotting flesh.

"Now comes the disgusting part…Hoss had a big meal not so long ago; I can feel it in there." Daryl reached around inside the Walkers exposed abdomen and felt around for the stomach sack. "Here's the gut bag." He pulled it out on dropped it on the ground, where it fell with a soggy plop. Rick took a deep breath through his mouth as the stench rose up. "I got this…"

They edged their knives around the sack, screwing their noses up at over powering smell. Daryl rooted around until he finally brought something out hanging on the edge of his blade.

"Old bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch."

"Well, at least we know," Rick stated slowly, peeling off his gloves.

"At least we know." Daryl whistled over to Merle, who appeared from behind a small stand of trees; looking tense from the waiting. One look at Daryl's face had his shoulders relaxing slightly in the knowledge that wherever Sophia was – she was still alive as far as they knew.

"You didn't find her?" A distraught Carol met them at the guard rail and felt her knees sag at Rick's slow shake of his head. Daryl went to step forward to offer her comfort but something held him back.

"Her trail went cold, we'll pick it up again at first light."

"You can't leave my baby out there on her own. To spend the night alone in the woods."

"Hunting in the dark's no good; we'd just be trippin' over ourselves and more people'll get lost." Daryl spoke softly; every bone in his body urging him to step forward and wrap her in his arms but his mind was telling him otherwise. _She's just lost her little girl; she ain't gonna want you slobbering all over her, keep yer distance and concentrate on bringin' Sophia back._  
"But she's nine years old! She can't be out there on her own! Didn't you find anything?"

"I know this is hard, but I'm asking you not to panic," Rick stepped over the guardrail and stood closer to Carol. "We know she's out there…"

"We tracked her for a while," Merle stepped over the guard and placed a hand on Carol's arm. She covered his hand with her own and he could feel it trembling against his. He shot a look over to Daryl and cocked his head; frowning at Daryl's slight shake of his head. _What the fuck, baby brother? Your woman's suffering and you ain't prepared to come up and offer her comfort?_ Merle looked closer at Daryl and could see the tension that tightened his frame and the little tick in his jaw. He knew that something was holding his brother back and Merle was determined to discover what that was; but first he had to take care of his brothers woman. He settled his arm across the back of Carol's waist and eased her down to sit on the guardrail; making sure that she was still in Daryl's sight.

"We have to make this an organised effort," Rick began and turned to face the rest of the group. "Daryl and Merle know the woods better than anyone, and I've asked them to oversee this."

"Is that blood?" Carol caught sight of the Walker blood staining the front of his pants and he looked down and tried to brush it off.

"We took down a Walker…" Rick began to explain and Merle had to lunge to catch Carol as she almost fainted at the news, fearing the worst.

"There was no sign that it was anywhere near Sophia." Rick knelt in front of Carol and placed his hand on her knee, a low growl from behind Carol had him withdrawing his hand almost immediately. Daryl had moved along to stand behind Carol, still on the other side of the guardrail and tapped his hand against his crossbow. Merle glanced over and hid a grin behind his hand. _So lil brother; you don't want to make a move on her yourself; but you sure don't want anyone else touching her either; well, well! _

"How can you know that?" Andrea asked quietly from the back of the group, Daryl didn't want to be too graphic about what had occurred but the question had been asked.

"We cut the sonofabitch open…made sure."

Lori eased herself down next to Carol on the guardrail and rubbed her back gently; the older woman visibly shaking at the news that the men had gutted a Walker expecting to see pieces of her little girl inside.

"How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How could you just leave her?" Carol turned accusing eyes on Rick, asking the question that had been running through not only her mind but pretty much everyone else's too.

"Those two Walkers were on us, I had to draw them off…it was her best chance."

"Sounds like he didn't have a chance, Carol." Shane hitched his thumbs on his belt loop and supported Rick's statement.

"How is she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child…she's just a child!" Carol's voice grew smaller and smaller and she finally lost all ability to speak; sagging against Merle and feeling Lori's hand creep around to hug her tightly.

"It was my only option…"Rick sank to his knees before Carol, his eyes pleading for her to understand. "The only choice I could make…" His eyes flickered over to Lori and she could see the agony in his eyes caused by his decision.

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Shane muttered, sitting on the guard rail a short distance away.

"My little girl got left in the woods…"


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Thank you to everyone that has been kind enough to take a few moments to review my stories – did you see the bonus chapter that I slipped in to say 'thanks?' No? Well take a hop, skip and a jump back to Chapter 11 and you can read what happened the night they left the CDC. **

**I'm thinking that my sweet version Merle deserves a little loving when they finally reach safety; and I was thinking of MERCHONNE; what do you think? Let me know, Happy Reading everyone! **

"Everybody takes a weapon." Shane announced at sunrise and slammed down a satchel containing a variety of sharp instruments that had been gathered from the vehicles on the Highway.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need; what about the guns?" Andrea stated dismissively and arched an eyebrow at Shane.

"We've been over that; Daryl, Rick, Merle, and I are carrying – Daryl also has his knife and crossbow. We cain't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles."  
"It's not the trees I'm worried about.

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment and a herd happens to be passing by? Then it's game over for all of us – so you need to get over it."

"The idea is to take the creek up; about five miles, then turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark."

"Stay quiet and stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other." Rick looked around the group, stressing the importance of his statement.

"Everybody assemble your packs." Shane threw a couple of empty rucksacks on the hood of the car and everyone moved to obey. Rick turned to where Dale was sitting on the top step of the RV.

"Dale, you keep on those repairs. We've got to get this RV ready to move."

"We won't stay here a minute longer than we have too. Good luck out there; bring Sophia back."

"Will you keep an eye on Carl while we're gone?"

"I'm going with you." Carl stated quietly and simply looked at his father. "You need people, right? To cover as much ground as possible." Rick sighed and turned his head to look at Lori, she shook her head.

"Your call. I can't always be the bad guy."

"Well, he has all of you to look after him. I'd say he's in pretty good hands." Dale offered his opinion from within the RV, sparing a wink for Carl. Rick slapped his brown Stetson against his thighs and knew when he was beaten. "Okay. Okay. But always within our sights. No exceptions."

The search party then headed into the woods and came across a tent; seemingly abandoned in a small clearing.

"She could be in there." Shane commented and Merle stepped forward to take point; gesturing to the others to stand back until he confirmed it was safe to come forward.

"There could be a whole bunch of things in there." Daryl crept forward with his crossbow at the ready. Rick gestured for Carol to come closer.

"Carol, call out softly. If she's in there, yours is the first voice she should hear." Daryl handed the crossbow to Merle and pulled out his knife, waiting for Carol.

"Sophia, sweetie? Are you in there? Sophia, it's Mommy." Rick crept up to join Daryl on the outside of the tent, Daryl pulled the covering aside and they coughed at the sudden stench that drifted outside. Daryl crept quietly inside and found nothing but the rotting corpse of a man who had put a gun to his mouth and pulled the trigger.

"Daryl?" Carol called softly, anxious for any news. "Daryl?" She called again. Daryl swiftly checked the man's belongings for anything useful and quietly pocketed a small pistol which had fallen to the floor.

"It ain't her." He said as he crawled out from within the confines of the tent.

"What's in there?"

"Some guy. Did what Jenner said. Opted out. Ain't that what he called it?" Daryl accepted his crossbow back from Merle and the group headed out.

They faced disappointment when they came across a small country church. They had heard steeple bells ringing and hope had risen that either Sophia was ringing the bells herself or at least had heard the ringing and would have made her way there. They discovered the church full of Walkers and no sign of a steeple or the bells; Glenn made the discovery of an external speaker system and the fact that the bells were on a timer.  
"Got to move here, man; these people are spent. There ain't a lotta daylight left and it's a long way back." Shane made his way through the graveyard to where Rick was scanning the treeline.

"I can't stop yet." Rick stated.

"We've still got a lot of ground to cover, whole other side of the creek bed. So we search that on the way back."

"She would have heard those church bells. She could be nearby."

"She could be a lot of things." Shane stated and Rick turned around to face him.

"I can't go back. Her being out here is **my** fault." Shane gave an ironic laugh and rubbed his hand across his face.

"That's great. Now they've got you doubting yourself, huh?"

"What about you? You doubt me?" Rick asked, watching his friend's face for any tell-tale signs.

"Hey, we can assign all kinds of blame."

"This means something, finding her…It would be the miracle we need. We can't give up!"

"Y'all gonna follow the creek bed back." Shane clapped a hand across Rick's back and strode back to where the others were resting beneath a shady tree. "Daryl – you're in charge. Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough."

"You're splitting us up. You sure?" Daryl rose to his feet, not really sure if he were comfortable leaving Rick and Shane without a tracker with them – Merle didn't have Daryl's experience or keen insight but he still had more sense than the rest of the group.

"Yeah, you and Merle take the others to check the other side of the creek and then head back to the Highway. We'll catch up to you." Shane hefted his rifle further in his hands and glanced over at the group.

"I want to stay, too." Carl announced; leaving Lori's side and stepping forward. "I'm her friend." Shane and Rick exchanged glances, neither one wanting to make that call. Finally, Lori stepped around Carl to run her fingers through his hair.

"Just be careful, okay?" She pulled him close into a hug and kissed the top of his head, "When did you start growing up?" Rick walked over and kissed her tenderly, smoothing her long, brown hair away from her face.

"I'll be along soon enough." He pulled back slightly and pulled his Colt Python out of the holster and thumbing on the safety. "Here," he said attempting to hand the gun over, "You remember how to use it?"

"I'm not taking your gun and leaving you unarmed." Lori waved the gun away, and Daryl stepped forward with the pistol he removed from the suicide tent earlier.

"Here, I gotta spare. Take it." Lori accepted the offer and hooked it onto her waistband. Andrea saw the exchange and sighed bitterly. _Typical!_ She thought before trekking off after Daryl.

"So this is it? This is the plan?" Carol asked wearily as the larger group stopped for a brief water break.

"I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups." Daryl scanned his eyes around the area keeping watch while the other's rested on a fallen log. Merle headed off into the trees to take care of some personal business and Andrea continued to make her feelings clear about not having a 'proper' weapon.

"Carrying knives and pointy sticks. I see you have a gun." She pointedly referred to the small handgun given over by Daryl. Lori stopped searching in her bag and looked up at the other woman.

"Why, you want it?" She stepped forward, pulling the gun out of her waistband. "Here, take it. I'm sick of the looks you're giving me." Lori thrust the gun into Andrea's hand and slumped to the log. "All of you." She continued, and looked over at Carol. "Honey," She said softly, "I can't imagine what you're going through and I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick. It is in your face every time you look at him. When Sophia ran he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second. I don't know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did." Lori paused for a moment, eyes widening as she caught sight of the blanket of emotions on both Daryl and Merle's faces, _well perhaps they would have if they were closer, _she amended silently. "Or made the hard decisions that he had to make, or that anyone could have done it any differently. Anybody?" Lori looked around at the silent faces before her and rose to her feet. "Y'all look to him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you." Lori stopped talking and turned around to place her bottle of water back in her rucksack; when she turned around again Andrea was there holding out the handgun.

"We should keep moving."

On the other side of the woods, Rick, Carl and Shane caught sight of a male deer moving through the trees. Shane rose his rifle to take a shot and Rick placed his hand on the other man's arm to stop him.

"Shane…" Rick nodded his head over to where Carl was quietly approaching the deer, a look of amazement on his face as the deer remained perfectly still in the middle of the clearing as if it were just waiting for Carl to touch it.

"How come it ain't running off?" Shane questioned softly, and Rick just shook his head; eyes affixed on his son. Carl stepped closer and closer and then suddenly there was the sound of a loud gunshot and Rick watched on in horror as the deer toppled to the ground and Carl's small body flew back ten feet in the air to land with a thud.

"No. No. No." Rick screamed as he raced toward his fallen son, crouching over his motionless body. "CARL!"


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Only a hint of Caryl in this chapter as it mainly focuses on Rick, Carl and Shane - and of course we finally get to visit Hershel's farm! Happy reading!**

Rick ran, cradling his seemingly lifeless son, until he thought his lungs would explode. He couldn't or wouldn't let Shane take Carl; insisting that he was fine, he could make it. It was the stray shot of a farmhand that had pierced through both the deer and Carl, and now that farmhand, Otis, was leading them to a man he insisted would be able to help.

"I'll take you to Hershel, Hershel will be able to help your boy."

"You'd better be right, old man. You'd better be right." Shane tightened his grip on Otis' collar, determined not to let the man out of his sight.

Rick almost fell to his knees as the farmhouse at last came into sight, and a white haired older gentleman appeared; having been summoned by his elder daughter, Maggie's, cry of alarm. He stepped out onto the porch; closely followed by a middle aged woman and a young man carrying a baseball bat.

"Was he bit?" He asked Rick.

"Shot…by your man…" Rick gasped out. The middle aged woman, Patricia stepped off the porch.  
"Otis?" She said in disbelief.

"He said find Hershel. Is that you?" The man, Hershel Greene, Otis' employer and long term friend, stepped down and passed a quick look over Carl.

"Help me. Help my boy." Rick pleaded. Hershel made the decision to help the desperate man and turned his head to shout at the others.

"Get him inside. Inside!" Hershel ran up the steps and held the screen door open for Rick to pass through. "Patricia, I need my full kit." Hershel ordered as he strode through the house rolling his sleeves back. "Maggie?"

"Yeah?"

"Painkillers, coagulants. Just grab everything."

"Okay."

"Clean towels, sheets, alcohol." Hershel led the way to the back of the house, "In here." Rick carefully placed the barely breathing boy on the bed. "Pillowcase."

"Is he alive?"

"Pillowcase, quick!" Hershel bent over Carl's body, and repeated the request. Rick grabbed a fluffy pillow and removed it from the case. "Fold it, make a pad. Put pressure on the wound." He placed the pad in the correct position and pressed Rick's hands firmly down. Hershel accepted the stethoscope held out by Patricia and held it over Carl's chest.

"I've got a heartbeat, but it's faint."

"I got it – step back." Patricia placed her hand over Rick's and gently moved him aside.

"Maggie, IV."

"We need some space." Maggie nudged Rick further back away from the bed and Hershel called out without looking up.

"Your name?"

"Rick."  
"Rick..?"

"I… I'm…Rick."

"Rick, we're gonna do everything we can, okay?" Hershel finally looked over to see Rick staring down at his bloody hands. "You need to give us some room. Now." Rick stepped back and gazed out of the window to see Shane dragging Otis over the fields in front of the house. He went out onto the porch and stared sightlessly out into the distance.

"He alive? He's still alive?" Otis asked, breathing hard from the exertion. He was a burly man, and not used to running five yards; let alone five miles in the heat of the hot Georgia sun. Rick didn't answer but wiped a hand over his face to try and stay focused; not realising that he had just smeared his son's blood all over his forehead.

"Okay," Shane softly said and dropped the gun back to the porch decking. "You got blood, man." He pulled out a scrap of pink towelling and gently wiped away the blood from his friends face. Rick crumpled the towel in his hands, finally realising that they were hopelessly stained with Carl's blood.

"It's okay, I'll take it from you." Shane removed the towel and leant in to Rick. "Where is he? Is he okay?" Rick was still unable to speak; shock had tightened his throat preventing his words from forming; he simply held open the screen door and led Shane to the back of the house.

"You know his blood type?" Hershel asked, pressing yet another folded square against Carl's abdomen in an attempt to stem the flow of blood.

"A positive. Same as mine." Rick managed to answer, his voice sounding strangely garbled, even to his own ears.

"That's fortunate. Don't wander far, I'm gonna need you. What happened?" Hershel glanced over to Otis, who had followed the two strangers into the bedroom.

"I was tracking a buck," Otis explained, "Bullet went through it. Went clean through."

"The deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved his life." Hershel lifted the padding and inspected the wound. "But it did not go through clean. It broke up into pieces. If I can get the bullet fragments out…and I'm counting six…"

"I never saw him." Otis crossed the room to stand in front of his wife, Patricia. "Not until he was on the ground." Patricia opened up her arms and Otis collapsed weeping against her shoulder.

"Lori doesn't know?" Rick paled even further at the thought of losing Carl and not having Lori beside him.

"No, she…"  
"My wife doesn't know. My wife doesn't know." Rick broke down sobbing into his hand, and Shane hooked a strong arm around his neck; whispering soothing sounds into his ear.

Back in the forest Lori held back from the others peering into the distance.

"You still worried about it?" Andrea looked back and asked, the group coming to a halt.

"It was a gunshot."

"We all heard it." Daryl looked over and Merle nodded in agreement, there was no mistaking that particular sound.

"Why one? Why just one gunshot?" Lori scanned the group and then looked back in the direction of the gunshot.

"Maybe they took down a Walker?" Daryl suggested, thinking to himself that Rick wouldn't be that stupid, would he?

"Please don't patronise me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one Walker, or Shane. They'd do it quietly."

"Shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Carol asked Merle quietly, he nodded in agreement; worry causing lines to appear across his brow.

"There's nothing we can do about it anyway. We cain't run around these woods chasing echoes." Daryl scanned the area briefly and hefted his crossbow back up to lie across his forearms.

"So, what do we do?" Lori asked, she had caught the worried look on Merle's face and knew that he was probably thinking the same thing that she was, that Rick was in trouble.

"Same as we've been. Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the Highway."

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV." Andrea suggested, and with one more look back, Lori nodded and the group pressed on.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through." Andrea paused to pass her condolences onto Carol, watched closely by Glenn who was bringing up the rear of the party. "I know how you feel."

"I suppose you do. Thank you." Carol hitched her shoulder slightly at Andrea's comment and a brief smile flickered across her face. "The thought of her, out here by herself. It's the not knowing that's killing me." Carol swept her eyes around the forest before bringing them back to Andrea. "I just keep hoping and praying she doesn't wind up like Amy." Andrea's face hardened at Carol's words and Carol raised a hand to her mouth; tears filling her eyes. "Oh, God! That's the worst thing I ever said." Andrea shook her head, and swallowed hard; shaking off Carol's apology.

"We're all hoping and praying with you, for what it's worth." She smiled tightly, but her eyes were cold and dead inside.

"I'll tell you what it's worth. Not a damn thing." Daryl had been watching their interaction from a distance and had seen the shutters come down over Andrea's face at Carol's misspoken words; Andrea had emotionally distanced herself from Carol then and looked dangerously like slipping off the edge. He chose that moment to step in between the two women, sheltering Carol from any harsh words that he was sure were able to spill out of Andrea. "It's a waste of time, all this hopin' and prayin'. We're gonna locate that little girl. She's gonna be fine, just fine. Am I the only one Zen around here? Good Lord." Daryl shared a brief look with Carol, who looked at him with such trust that he found himself wondering again why he felt this pull toward her all of the time. He had been strangely drawn to Carol; ever since he first saw her shaking out bedrolls the first morning he'd arrived in camp. He felt as if he would fall apart if she wasn't within his sight and had decided when they left the nursing home that he needed to break the strange addiction; for her sake if nothing else. Goodness knows, he was no prime catch and the last thing she needed was another male staking his claim so soon after losing her husband. Daryl knew that he had a tendency to be over protective and when he loved someone; he loved them with all of his might. Yup; that was the last thing either of them needed right now.

Rick and Shane were sitting on the couch in the Greene's living room, anxiously waiting for someone to come out and give them news on Carl.

"Why'd I let him come with us? I should've sent him with Lori." Rick questioned his decisions endlessly, and finally Shane looked over with a deep sigh.

"You know, you start that, and you'll never get that monkey off your back."

"Little girl goes missing, you look for her. Simple. You said 'Call it. Head back.' A little girl goes missing," Rick repeated. "You look for her. It's plain and simple." Rick looked up at the creaking of the door.

"Rick." Maggie anxiously peered around the bedroom door. "He needs blood." Rick entered the bedroom to find Carl crying and thrashing against Hershel's firm grip.

"You." Hershel inclined his head in Shane's direction as he followed Rick into the room. "Hold him down."

"Dad!" Carl screamed in agony as Shane leant his body weight against the boy's left side so that Hershel could continue digging into the wound trying to extract the bullet fragments.

"Almost there…" Hershel muttered quietly and Carl screamed louder.

"Stop! You're killing him!" Rick couldn't bear to watch his son writhe about the bed in agony and Hershel finally snapped back at him.

"Rick, do you want him to live?"

"He needs blood." Patricia stated, having swabbed away more than Carl could afford to lose.

"Do it now!" Shane screamed at her to start the transfusion; watching as the blood loss caused Carl's cheeks to grow paler with every second that passed. Finally Carl passed out with the pain just as Hershel drew out the first bullet fragment.

"One down, five to go."

Sometime later a very gaunt looking Rick looked over at where Hershel had just finishing taking Carl's blood pressure; it was holding steady for the moment at least.

"I need to go and find Lori, she needs to be here."

"You can't do that," Hershel told him, looking over from Carl's bedside.

"She needs to know what's been going on! That her son is lying here shot!" Rick exclaimed.

"And he's going to need more blood." Hershel looked over at Rick and then addressed Shane. "He can't go more than fifty feet from this bed." Patricia helped Rick rise to his feet and Shane helped his shaky friend out into the hallway; pressing him into a chair in the living room.

"He's stable for now." Shane announced to Maggie and Otis who were sitting quietly waiting for news.

"Lori has to be here, Shane. She has to know."

"Okay, I get that. I'm gonna handle it. But you've gotta handle your end."  
"My…my end?" Rick asked confusedly, his mind in a muddle from the blood he had donated to his son.

"Your end is being here…for your son. Even if he didn't need your blood to survive there is no way I'd ever let you walk out that door. Man, I'd break your legs if you tried. I mean, you know that, right?" Shane crouched down next to Rick's chair and watched his friend struggling. "If something were to happen to him and you weren't here. If he slipped away whilst you were gone, you'd never forgive yourself for that, and neither would Lori, man." Rick pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, nodding slightly in response to Shane's words; knowing that the other man was right.

"You're right."

"When was I ever wrong?" Shane remarked drolly and both men shared a small smile. "When you were in that hospital…Lori…the strength of that woman." Shane reached over to grip Rick's shoulder and squeezed gently. "See, that's what you gotta have now. I mean, Carl he needs that from you. So you wire yourself tight, my friend. You hear?" His hands came up to frame Rick's face and they pressed foreheads for a moment before Shane pulled back, looking Rick deep in the eyes. "You've got the hard part. You just leave the rest to me, okay?"

"Alright." Rick whispered softly, fighting to gain control over his emotions.

"Alright." Shane responded and gave Rick's neck a final squeeze, swallowing hard against the lump that had formed in his throat. He had never seen his friend so distraught and vowed to do everything he could to help.


	16. Chapter 16

Shane moved back from Rick as he heard Hershel leave the bedroom and nudged Rick to stand up. They stood waiting by the door as Hershel entered the living room, wiping his hands with a bloody towel.

"He's out of danger for the moment, but I need to remove those remaining fragments."

"How?" Rick questioned quietly, "You saw how he was…"

"I know, and that was the shallowest one. I need to go deeper to get the others."

"Oh, man." Shane did not like the way the older man said that, no sir, not one bit.

"There's more."  
"Tell me." Rick stated quietly, preparing himself for even more grim facts.

"His belly's distended, his pressure's dropping, which means there's internal bleeding. A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels. I have to open him up; find the bleeder and stitch it." Hershel sighed heavily and looked between Shane and Rick. "He can't move while I'm in there; and I mean, at all. If he reacts the same as before, I'll sever an artery and he'll be dead within minutes. To even try this, I need to put him under. But if I do, he won't be able to breathe on his own. Same bad results."

"What'll it take?" Rick rubbed a shaking hand over his pale face, trying to absorb all of the information. Otis rose from his spot near the window and approached Hershel.

"You need a respirator. What else?"

"The tube that goes with it, extra surgical supplies, drapes, sutures." Hershel listed the items one by one.

"If you had all that, you could save him?" Rick questioned, wondering where the Hell they were likely to find the necessary equipment- there wasn't a hospital around for miles.

"If I had all that," Hershel replied, "I could **try**."

"Nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago," Otis remarked, and then his eyes widened. "The High school…." He breathed, and Hershel nodded slowly.

"That's what I was thinking. They set up a FEMA shelter there. They would have everything we need."

"The place was overrun the last time I saw it. You couldn't get near it; maybe it's better know."

"I said, leave the rest to me. Is it too late to take that back?" Shane quipped, knowing that he was the only possible candidate to make this run.

"I hate you going alone," Rick looked over at his friend knowing that there was a possibility that Shane wouldn't make it back from this one.

"Doc, why don't you do me a list? Draw me up a map." Shane shook his head at Rick's protests; knowing in his heart that this was Carl's only chance at survival.

"You won't need a map." Otis stepped forward. "I'll take you there, ain't but five miles." He stated firmly, raising a hand to ward off Patricia's softly worded objections. "Honey, we don't have time for guesswork and I'm responsible. I ain't gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone. I'll be alright."

"Are you sure about this?" Shane looked over at the overweight farmhand.

"Do you even know that any of the stuff he's talking about looks like?" Otis responded, and when Shane shook his head, continued; "I've been a volunteer EMT. I do. Now, we can talk about this till next Sunday, or we could just go do it real quick."

"I'll take real quick." Shane respected the man for stepping up when most needed and nodded in approval.

"I should thank you," Rick started and again Otis held up his hand to ward off the thanks.

"Wait until that boy of yours is up and around, then we'll talk. I'll gather some things." Otis nodded his head in Rick's direction and left the room, Patricia close at his heels.

"Where is she?" Maggie rose to her feet and approached Rick. "Your wife, where is she?"

"We'll lose the light before too long. I think we should call it." Daryl stopped his small group and looked up at the sun; judging it to be early evening.

"Let's head back." Lori suggested, feeling tired and frustrated after the long day of searching for Sophia.

"We'll pick it up again tomorrow?" Carol questioned hopefully, Lori turned and spared her a brief smile.

"Yeah, we'll find her again tomorrow."

Daryl whistled briefly, signalling to Merle, who was bringing up the rear of the party; that they were ready to head back to the Highway. Merle whistled back and loped up to join his brother at the front, leaving Glenn to hang back slightly.

"You okay, 'lil brother?" He nudged Daryl gently, bumping their shoulders together in an effort to get his brother to look at him. Daryl shrugged and glanced briefly behind to check how Carol was taking the news to call of the search. He noticed that Lori was sticking close to her side and the other woman gave him a brief smile of reassurance. He turned back to Merle and lowered his voice to prevent from being overheard.

"Jest worried 'bout 'Phia. Another night out here in the dark; she has to be pretty freaked by now."

"Thought you were all 'Zen' and that shit? Yeah, I heard your little pep talk earlier with the ladies earlier; don't you be worrying about 'lil Sweet Pea – as Lori said; we'll find her tomorrow."

"How much farther?" Andrea drew alongside the brothers and pretended not to notice Daryl rubbing his hand across his eyes; giving him a bit of space she addressed Merle instead.

"Not much, maybe hundred yards as the crow flies."

"Too bad we're not crows…" she muttered, how hard was it to give a straight answer? She wasn't paying attention as she veered off slightly from the others and stumbled straight into a large and sticky cobweb. "Aargh, gross!" Too busy wiping her hands she failed to notice that she had attracted the attention of an undead companion. "As the crow flies my ass!" It was only when the growling grew closer that she panicked and tripped over an exposed tree root; stumbling backwards and letting out an ear shattering scream.

"Andrea!" Lori heard the screams and spun around, noticing for the first time that Andrea wasn't among them. Everyone raced toward the sound of the screams to see Andrea laying on her back screaming for help; she had lost her knife when she fell and was now in full panic mode as a Walker drew near her fallen body.

Daryl readied his crossbow just as a chestnut horse came galloping through the clearing and its female rider leant sideways to knock down the Walker with one swift blow from a wooden baseball bat.

"Lori? Is one of you Lori Grimes?" Maggie brought the horse to a halt and looked over at the faces below her.

"I'm Lori." Lori stepped forward and Maggie leant down to address the other woman.

"Rick sent me. You got to come now."

"What?"

"There's been an accident. Carl's been shot. He's still alive, but you gotta come now." When Lori still didn't move closer, Maggie addressed her a little sharper. "Rick needs you! Just come!" Lori shrugged off her backpack and prepared to mount the horse behind Maggie.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't know this girl. You can't get on that horse." Merle stepped forward to try and restrain Lori, Daryl had no such compunctions and bent to form a cradle with his linked hands, giving her a much needed boost onto the back of the horse.

"Rick said you had others on the Highway, that big traffic snarl?" Maggie said and Glenn nodded.

"Backtrack to Fairburn road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. Name's Greene." With that Maggie whirled the horse around and cantered back through the forest, Lori clinging onto her waist, hair streaming out behind. _  
"Shot? What do you mean shot?" Dale met the group at the guardrail and noticed the absence of the Grimes family and Shane.

"All I know is this chick rides in out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori."

"And you let her?" Dale looked questioningly at Daryl, knowing that Rick had left him in charge. Daryl just removed his crossbow and glared back at Dale, not appreciating the accusation behind his eyes. "Climb down outta my asshole, man. Rick sent her. She knew Lori's name and Carl's."

"I heard screams, was that you?" Dale held out a hand to assist Andrea over the rail and let it fall when she shrugged it off.

"She got attacked by a Walker," Glenn explained, "It was a close call."

"Andrea? Are you alright?" Dale called out to Andrea's retreating back; she looked over and gave him a long, cold stare as if to say 'do I fucking look alright?' and then stepped up into the RV without saying a single word.

"This place is beautiful." Rick stated quietly as he hung his arms over the porch railing; watching for the horizon for any sign of Maggie returning with his wife.

"Been in my family for 160 years." Hershel stepped through the open doorway and crossed over to join Rick at the railing.

"I can't believe how serene it is. How untouched…you're lucky." Rick glanced over at Hershel and saw a glimmer of sadness appear on his time worn face.

"We weren't completely unscathed. We lost friends, neighbours. The epidemic took my wife, my stepson."

"I'm sorry." Rick half turned to prop himself against a corner post, waiting for Hershel to continue.

"My daughters were spared and I'm grateful to God for that. These people here…all we got left is each other. Just hoping we can ride it out in peace till there's a cure."

"We were at the CDC…It's….it's gone now. There is no cure."

"I don't believe it," Hershel said with a brief smile. "When AIDS came along, everyone panicked. One boy in town came down with it, and some parents pulled their children from school, so they didn't have to sit in the same room."

Rick shook his head in dismissal - "This is a whole other thing."

"That's what we always say, 'this one's different.'"

"Well this one is." Rick stated quietly, turning around to fully face Hershel now.

"Mankind's been fighting plagues from the start, we get our behinds kicked for a while, and then we bounce back. It's nature correcting herself, restoring some balance."

"I wish I could believe that, I really do." Hershel opened his mouth to say more but was interrupted by the sound of hooves thundering across the open fields.

Rick stepped down off the porch and crossed the garden to catch Lori as she slid from the horse's back. She took one glance at the blood soaking his uniform shirt and collapsed into his arms; fearing the worst.

"Sshh…it's alright. It's alright." Rick held her tightly, running a hand through her long, wavy hair. "Carl's still with us, but he's gonna need an operation. Shane's gone on a run for supplies…" He crooned to Lori softly in an effort to still her trembling; finally she managed to bring herself under some semblance of control and Rick wrapped an arm firmly around her waist to guide her into the house. She saw Carl lying pale and still on the bed and gently sat beside him on the bed.

"My baby boy….Mama's here. You're gonna be okay…We're gonna make you okay." Lori stretched out beside Carl on the bed and reached out with one hand to grasp Rick's. He knelt by her side and together they watched over their sleeping son.

Later, Rick woozily tried to rise up from his chair and Lori was there to steady him and guide him back down into a seated position.

"How many transfusions?" She looked worriedly at his pale complexion, and kept a firm grip on his arms.

"Two, only two."

"You know, he wanted to do the same for you when you were in the hospital; I had to talk him out of it." When he was a little steadier she helped him to walk into the living room where Hershel was waiting with a large glass of orange juice.

"So, as I understand when Shane gets back with this other man…"  
"Otis."

"Otis. The idiot who shot my son."

"Ma'am, it was an accident."

"I'll take that under advisement later. For now, he's the idiot that short our son."

"Lori," Rick placed a gentle hand on her arm and shook his head slightly in warning, "They're doing everything they can to make it right." Lori nodded and swiped a hand under her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay, as soon as they get back you can perform this surgery?"

"I'll certainly do my best." Hershel vowed and Lori gave him a searching glance.

"Okay. I mean, you've done this procedure before?"

"Well yes, in a sense."

"'In a sense'?"

"Honey, we don't have the luxury of shopping for a surgeon."

"No, I understand that." Lori squeezed Rick's hand and turned back to Hershel; gripping the back of the wooden chair tightly. "But, I mean, you're a doctor, right?"

"Yes ma'am, of course. A vet."

"A veteran. A combat medic?" Lori's grip relaxed slightly, secure in the knowledge that he at least wasn't some High school biology teacher…a combat medic, no less. She turned panicked eyes toward her husband when Hershel drawled slowly -

"A veterinarian."

"And you've done this surgery before on what?" Lori's voice was quiet and almost deadly, "Cows? Pigs?"

"I have…I have to sit…" Rick weaved on his feet, the combination of the two transfusions and the shock of Hershel's quiet admission proving too much to bear. Lori leapt around the table to assist Rick into a chair, and looked back over at Hershel. "You're in completely over your head aren't you?"

Hershel stated quietly: "Ma'am, aren't we all?"


	17. Chapter 17

Shane and Otis arrived at the high school and found it still crawling with Walkers. They crept their way through to the car park and peered over the tops surveying the situation.

"You see that big mobile medical trailer across the way?" Shane scanned the distance and looked at Otis in disbelief.

"That's where we gotta get to?"

"Yeah…" There was at least thirty Walkers between their hiding place and the trailer and both men knew their chances were slim at best. Shane leant back against the trunk of the car and sank to his knees thinking over their next move.

"I won't do it. We can't just leave." Carol shook her head at Dale and sat on the guardrail nearest the last point where she had seen Sophia disappear.

"Carol, the group is split. We're scattered and weak." Dale sighed and leant against the open door of the RV.

"What if she comes back and we're not here?" Carol scanned the faces of the people left at the Highway; lingering in particular on Merle and Daryl, pleading with her eyes for them to reconsider. Daryl shifted on his feet and brought his crossbow up to rest across his forearms. He glanced over at Merle and they exchanged a pointed look.

"If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful." Andrea shivered slightly at the thought.

"Okay. We gotta plan for this." Daryl stated and set his crossbow down at his feet. "I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes…"

"Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave her some supplies." Merle added, crossing over to stand at his brother's side, and brushing a hand lightly across Carol's arm in reassurance. She shot both brother's a grateful smile, causing Daryl to flush lightly and shift on his feet.

"I'll hold here tonight, stay with the RV." Daryl finally stated when he was in control of his voice, that smile had twisted up his insides, making it impossible to breath let along talk for a moment. Merle nodded in agreement and Dale sighed.

"If the RV is staying, I am too."

"Thank you. Thank you, all." Carol smiled tearfully at the three men, and Andrea looked over at the trembling widow and raised her hand.

"I'm in."

"Well, if you're all staying then I'm…" Glenn stepped forward only to be stopped by Dale.

"Not you, Glenn. You're going. Take Carol's Cherokee."

"Me?" Glenn huffed loudly, "Why is it always me?"

"We have to find this farm, reconnect with our people – find out what's going on. But most important, you have to get T-Dog there. This is not an option. That cut has gone from bad to worse. He has a very serious blood infection. Get him to that farm. See if they have any antibiotics." Daryl shared a glance with Merle and at his nod moved away to rummage in the saddle bags attached to Merle's bike. "Cause if they don't – T-Dog may die, and that's no joke."

"Why'd you wait till now to say anything?" Merle faced Dale and gestured for Daryl to bring the bag forward. Merle shifted slightly on his feet, looking a little ashamed at what he was about to reveal. "Ah…well some of you may know that I ain't always been a clean living man…I had some problems a while back and….Aw, Shit Daryl just hand them over will ya?" Merle fumbled with his words, feeling very uncomfortable and shifting his weight from side to side; finally stepping back and pulling Daryl forward. Carol stepped up to his side, not touching him; but just letting him know that she was there beside him.

"You could've just said that you'd stolen them or something…you didn't have to tell them all that." Carol whispered and Merle turned shocked eyes to her.

"My mama didn't raise no thief! My Daddy would've tanned my hide good if we'd have even thought about it growing up…No, I'll admit that I got into some pretty bad shit when I got outta the military. I ain't proud of it…but it made me stronger in the long run." Daryl narrowed his eyes at the whispered conversation taking place between his brother and Carol, not liking the way his brother leant in towards her.

"This is from Merle's old stash, didn't want to get rid of them in case they proved useful. Crystal, X – don't need that. Got some kick ass painkillers." He threw a few packets over the guardrail and tossed a bottle over to Dale. "There you go. Doxycycline. Not the generic stuff neither. It's first class." Smirking over at his brother he added: "Merle got the clap on occasion." _Payback time, big brother. That'll teach you to cosy up to my woman. _

_Shane had come up with a plan, maybe not the best in the world, but a plan none the less. He and Otis were making their way over to where an abandoned patrol car was parked at the edge of the lot. Shane reached in and quietly popped the trunk; if their luck was in there should be a half dozen flares in the trunk. All patrol cars carried them to use as warning signals in the event of a traffic collision.

"Finally, something goes our way…" Shane breathed out as he reached in to pull the flares out of the trunk. Passing a few to Otis the two of them lit the flares and tossed them into the middle of the Walkers, hoping that the light and sound would distract them enough long enough for them to slip through into the trailer. It worked - and the two men raced inside to start tearing through the shelves in order to find everything on Hershel's list.

_"Pressures dropping again, we can't wait much longer." Hershel finished taking Carl's blood pressure and looked over at Rick.

"Take some more. Whatever he needs." Rick thrust out his arm indicating that Hershel should transfuse again. "Then I'm gonna go."

"Go? Go where?"

"They said five miles. They should be long back by now. Something's gone wrong."

"Are you insane?" Lori looked at her husband, hardly able to believe the words spilling out from him. "You're **not** going after them."

"Rick, listen to your wife." Hershel said slowly, already not liking what he was hearing.

"If they got into trouble…"

"You're in no condition to do anything about it. You've given too much blood. You're barely on your feet. You wouldn't make it across the yard."

"If something happened, I have to go."  
"No! Your place is here. With me, with Carl. If Shane said he'll be back, he'll be back. He's like you that way."

"I can't just sit here…"

"That's exactly what you do!" Lori shouted, trying to make Rick understand. "If you need to pray or cry or tell God he's cruel, you go right ahead. But you're not leaving, Rick. Carl needs you here. I need you here." Her voice dropped to softly whisper, "And I can't do this by myself."

"Psst! Here!" Otis whispered over to Shane, having located the last few items on their list. "Endotracheal intubator, baby, for my new respirator."

"Attaboy! Come on." Shane grabbed a few more canisters of air and hefted the heavy load onto his shoulder. He opened the door to the trailer cautiously, canisters clanking from within the bag. The Walkers looked up at the sound and the herd turned their attention to the trailer; all previous fixation with the flares vanishing.

"We gotta make a run for it…" Both men shifted the weights of the heavy packs across their shoulders and raced out into the night; Walkers at every turn. Shane kept zigzagging through the school grounds, smashing Walkers against the chain link fences as he ran.

"Come on, in here!" Shane shot out the glass in the panelled doors of the school building and he and Otis stepped through; pulling the metal grating across the doors as soon as they were clear. They collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily as they stared at the herd trying to force their way through the grates.

"Damn it!"


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Okay people, a nice long chapter with not one but two (count them, two!) little CARYL moments for your reading pleasure. Get your tissues out for the second moment - it's confession time and you may want to be mopping up those tears of relief. **

"Hershel said you need to eat, you've got to keep your strength up." Lori looked over at the untouched sandwich sitting on a plate at Rick's side.

"What you said before, you're right. Shane's gonna make it back with what the doctor needs. He'll make it back."

"Hershel said you need to eat." Lori repeated, not taking her eyes away from a sleeping Carl.

"Carl's gonna be all right." Rick stated firmly, as much for himself as for Lori.

"Please…" Lori whispered, finally turning away from her son to look at her husband. "For me." Rick nodded and slowly reached over to pick up the sandwich and taking a bite; everyone mouthful tasting dry, like sawdust. He forced himself to chew and swallow; then chew and swallow again.

On the Highway, Andrea was taking apart her handgun; cleaning it and then meticulously putting the pieces back together; over and over the metal pieces chinked until Daryl thought he would go mad at the repetitive sounds. He rolled over from where he and Merle were lying on the floor down the middle of the RV and looked over at the form of Carol on the bunk. She was holding her fist against her mouth in an effort to stifle her sobs. Daryl nudged Merle away and with a few silent gestures told him to let him have a minute alone with the weeping woman. Dale was up on watch, so it would Daryl and Carol alone in the RV; there were things he wanted to say, no needed to say without anyone else overhearing.

Merle nodded and rose to his feet with a jaw cracking yawn – "Hey, blondie. Let's say you and me take a walk along the road, see if we can't find that girl." Andrea said nothing, just popped the clip back into the gun and rose to her feet.

"I'm going for a walk, shine some light into forest. If she's out there, it will give her something to look at." Merle called softly over to Dale, letting him know that he and Andrea were going out.

"Do you think that's a good idea right now?"

"Dale…" Andrea warned softly and jerked her head to where soft voices were drifting out from inside RV. Dale sank back into his lawn chair and nodded his understanding; it was obvious to everyone in the group that the man had feelings for the woman and maybe for a change he'd decided to let her know for once, instead of just trying to avoid the issue.

"Carol…?" Daryl whispered softly and crouched down at the side of the narrow bunk, Carol had curled herself into a ball facing the window. "Aw, please don't cry…" Carol was trembling and trying her best to hold back her tears, but failing miserably.

"She should've been with me…why did I let her go off on her own like that?" Carol sobbed, twisting the soft throw that she had tucked into her bag from the CDC into knots in her hands.  
"Aw, Carol. You cain't blame yourself…"

"Can't I? Why not? I tried blaming Rick for leaving her, when he was only trying to help..." Bitterness coloured Carol's voice and she curled even further away from him to stare out of the window, following the light bobbing through the trees from Merle's flashlight.

"No, I ain't gonna let you take this on yerself. You did nuthin' wrong! Ya hear me woman?" Daryl slid onto the narrow bunk and curved himself around Carol's back, wrapping one strong arm around her waist. "If you want to cry and scream, you go ahead. But I ain't gonna let ya blame yerself for somethin' that none of us could've prevented. Not you, not Rick and not me."

"Why you?" Carol twisted slightly against his firm grip, nose stuffy and blocked from her unshed tears. Daryl pressed his head against hers and whispered gently.

"Cause I was so hellbent on keepin' you safe that I forgot to keep her safe too….so if you want to blame anyone, pass a little of that across to me." Carol saw the streaks of moisture that had leaked from his eyes, and recognised them as the silvery trail of tears. She squeezed the arm wrapped around her waist and felt it flex slightly at her touch.

"Oh, Daryl…no!" Carol twisted around fully and pressed her head against his strong shoulder, feeling it quake against her. Daryl bent his head into her neck and gathered her closer into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Carol…I'm so sorry."

"I know you are….I know… Hush now, it's okay, it's okay, hush." So rather than being the one to offer comfort Daryl found himself being comforted instead. He let the built up sorrow overwhelm him, turning into Carol's warm embrace and feeling her own hot tears mix in with his own.

At the school, Shane and Otis had made their way into the school gymnasium and were now trying to catch their breath and figure out their next step.

"Those windows," Shane gestured over to the narrow openings on the opposite wall. "What's on the other side?"

"About a twenty foot drop with nothing to catch you, maybe some bushes, then the athletic field." Otis panted out an explanation, not liking the gleam that had appeared in Shane's eyes.

"We just need enough time. We gotta get up there, get 'em open and get out."

"Not me, maybe you."  
"Hey, hey, hey."

"Come on man, look at me. You really think I could squeeze through one of those tiny windows?" Otis scoffed, "They'd be all over us like a shot. Look we'll lay down some fire, get a head start. You stay here. I hop down, draw them away. That gives you the chance to get up to the bleaches and out a window."

"And where do you go?" Shane asked, Otis grabbed the flashlight and shone it over to the other side of the gymnasium. "Locker room, down those steps."

"Looks like a good way to get trapped." Shane remarked, not agreeing with the other man's plan at all.

"It's got windows too…and more my size. I get out through one, I double back and we meet up out on the field." Otis passed his rucksack over to Shane, who hitched it onto his other shoulder and smiled.

"You're a crazy son of a bitch, ain't you?"

Otis looked seriously at Shane: "I'm just trying to do right for that boy." At those words, the humour drained out of Shane's features as he turned back to the mission.

"You take three shots and you go. After that I fire. I'll lay down a cover for you. I'll get you a lead."

"Alright."

"Hey." Glenn said softly from the doorway of the room where Carl was being examined again by Hershel. He and T-Dog had just arrived on the farm and Maggie had led them straight into the back room.

"Hey." Rick answered, just as softly not wanting to rouse the sleeping child.

"We're here, okay." Not quite sure what to say, Glenn left it at that. Lori looked up from where she was occupying a chair at the foot of the bed and nodded her thanks.

"Whatever you need." T-Dog added quietly, shivering slightly despite the woollen blanket draped around his shoulders. Maggie silently led them into the kitchen for something to eat as Hershel leant across Carl once more. He peeled back the covers to reveal Carl's distended belly.

"They don't get back soon, we're gonna have a decision to make."

"And that is?"  
"Whether to operate on your boy without the respirator."

"You said that wouldn't work." Lori leant forward in her chair, fingers twisting around the silver locket that she wore around her neck.

"I know. It's extremely unlikely. But we can't wait much longer." Lori couldn't bear to be in the room a moment longer and rushed out, Rick closely following her. Hershel sighed heavily and turned his attention back to the very sick child in the bed.

"You really think we're gonna find Sophia?" Andrea questioned as she trekked alongside Merle in the dark forest.

"You got that look on your face, same as everybody else. What the hell's wrong with you people? We just started looking." Merle shook his head in disbelief; it seemed that only the brothers truly believed that Sophia was still out there; alive somewhere and lost in the dark.

"Well, do you?"

"It ain't the mountains of Tibet. It's Georgia. She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere. People get lose and they survive, it happens all the time."

"She's only nine."

"Hell, Daryl was the same age when he got lost. Nine days in the woods eating berries, wiping his ass with poison oak."

"They found him?"

"Nah, our old man was off on a bender with some waitress; I was in juvie, no one even realised he was gone. He made his own way back, went straight into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich. No worse for wear, except his ass itched somethin' awful." Merle looked over at Andrea's muffled laugh.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that is a terrible story."

"Yeah, well the only difference is that Sophia's got people looking for her. And if I know my brother, he ain't gonna give up until he's found her. Only reason I'm out here instead of him is that he wanted a moment alone with Carol."

"Yeah, about that…what exactly is going on between the two of them anyway?" Andrea arched an eyebrow over at Merle and waggled it.

"Only God knows for sure…Daryl's never been one to show his feelings, got tore up pretty bad by our Daddy, Hell we both did…." Merle paused as he realised he'd given something away about his family life that neither one of them were fond of remembering.

"Sorry, Merle…I should have guessed it from the way he always shies away whenever people stand too close to him…"

"Everyone except Carol…and Sophia. There's just something about the two of them that makes him forget his own troubles…they seem to complete him somehow. Lucky bastard, she's one special lady." Merle kicked at the loose leaves at his feet, only now admitting what he'd been suppressing for so long.

"Jealous, Merle? You? I'd have never seen you as a man attracted to the shy and gentle type." Andrea stopped walking and shone the light over in Merle's face.

"Get that light outta my eyes, you're screwing up my night vision. Won't be able to see shit…let alone any tracks."  
"Sorry." Chastened Andrea swept the light across the ground again, still waiting for some sort of response. Finally, Merle heaved a great sigh and turned to face her.

"Sorry for snapping at ya…"

"It's okay, I'm sorry for prying into your love life. It's none of my business."

"Guess I wasn't as clever at hiding it as I thought."  
"Nah, I guess I just have a way of telling when people are hiding something…"

"Yeah, must have come in handy; you being an attorney and all."

"Civil rights attorney, but yeah, it's proved useful. I could certainly tell whenever Shane and Lori slipped off for a quickie in the woods…"

"Yeah well, they weren't exactly discrete about it…thought my eyes would burn outta my sockets when Daryl and I came across them while out hunting a few weeks back. Man, I thought my 'lil brother was gonna have a heart attack – I ain't ever see someone turn that red before!" They chuckled at the thought and then Andrea patted Merle's arm.

"I don't think anyone else knows that you have a fondness for Carol, I'm almost certain of it."

"So long as Daryl never finds out, else I'd feel like shit. When that man loves something, he loves with his whole being…he once had a dog – went everywhere with him; used to meet him every day outside of the school gates, slept on his pillow at night. When that dog got sick, Daryl went into the woods with him and stayed there nearly a whole solid month until that dog died. Never as much looked at another dog again. He was just sixteen…I've a feeling that he's gonna be the same with Carol, and that's not something that I want to get in the way of."

"How do you think Carol feels about him? I can see that she's mighty fond of both of you, and I'm sure that it's not just gratitude."

"That I don't know blondie, I just don't know. Come on, let's walk a little further and then head back. It'll be light soon and the others will be wanting to head to the farm."

"Okay, and Merle…?" Andrea's soft call had him pausing in his tracks and turning to face her. "Your secret's safe with me." He nodded once in acknowledgement and they said nothing further as they continued in their search.

"Maybe this isn't a world for children anymore." Lori wrapped her arms around her middle as she stared out into the night, anxiously waiting for Shane's return.

"Yeah, well, we have a child. Carl is here in this world now." Rick crossed the porch to stand at her side.

"Maybe he shouldn't be. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be."

"You can't mean that." Lori just stared back at her husband, letting him know with her eyes that she could and she did.

"Okay. Alright. I can understand that thought crossing your mind…"

"It didn't **cross** my mind, Rick. I can't stop thinking it. Why do we want Carl to live in this world? To have **this** life? So he can see more people torn apart in front of him? So that he can be hungry and scared for however long he has before he…" Lori broke off unable to continue that particular train of thought. "So that he can run and run and run and run and then even if he survives he ends up…He ends up just another animal who doesn't know anything except survival? If he…If he dies tonight it ends for him." Rick turned away, unable to hear the rest but found himself listening anyway. "Tell me why it would be better another way."

"What changed?" Rick asked as he finally turned around. "Jenner offered us a way out, you asked us to let us keep trying. You begged him. 'For as long as we can,' you said. What changed?"

"There was a moment the other day," Lori began. "It was just for a second – but I forgot Jacqui was dead. I turned around, I wanted to tell her something, almost said her name. I was just for a second and then I remembered. But then I realised she didn't have to see any of it. The highway, the herds, Sophia…Carl getting shot…She didn't…She doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Hungry, angry. It hasn't stopped happening, Rick. It's like we live with a knife at our throats every second of every day But Jacqui doesn't. Not anymore. And then… I thought 'maybe Jenner was right.'"

"I don't accept that. I can't accept that. It doesn't matter what he said. None of it. You really think it would be better if Carl…If we just gave up?" Rick stared at Lori, both had tears sparkling on their lashes, threatening to fall.

"Tell me why it would be better the other way." Lori choked out, "Please…."

Shane had fallen the twenty feet that Otis had predicted, wrenching his ankle in the process. He hobbled across the small forecourt aiming for the Athletic field and scanning all around for any sign that Otis might have made it out of the locker room.

"Aarggghh!" Snarls and groans from behind him, had Shane picking up the pace and fumbling to reload his shotgun. _Shit! Only three rounds left, make them count; make them all count._ Shane pressed his back against the chain link fence and raised his shotgun.

BAM! The Walkers head exploded spectacularly, splattering blood all over Shane and soaking into the concrete below. Shane looked up to see Otis lowering his rifle and a brief look of thanks was exchanged. Shane hobbled over to join Otis and passed across one of the rucksacks.

"Man, I thought I'd lost you."

"That was my last rifle round."

"Mine, too. Come on. Come on." Shane urged Otis to pick up the pace and they headed along the fence towards the open field.

Rick and Lori were sitting on the floor outside of Carl's room, back to back they waited for a sign; any sign. A slight cough from within had them leaping to their feet to enter the room.

"Where are we?" Confused and struggling to breathe, Carl opened his eyes and looked around the room.

"Hey, little man. That's Hershel. We're in his house. You had an accident. All right?" Rick placed a hand on Carl's leg and patted gently.

"It hurts, a lot."

"Oh baby, I know. I know." Lori smoothed a hand gently across her sons forehead and whispered softly in his ear.

"You should have seen it." Carl whispered.

"What?"  
"The deer. It was so pretty, Mom. It was so close. I…I've never been…" Carl's eyes rolled back into his head and his body started to convulse before them.

"Don't!" Hershel warned as Rick moved to hold Carl steady. "It's a seizure. If you hold him down you could hurt him."

"You can't just stop it?" Lori questioned, eyes wild with fright.

"He has to just go through it." Hershel moved the pillow out from under Carl's head and watched silently as the boy continued to trash. When it was over and Carl lay still, he reached over to check Carl's pulse. "His brain isn't getting enough blood. His pressure is bottoming. He needs another transfusion."  
"Okay, I'm ready." Rick held out his arm in readiness, Hershel sighed and looked at the anxious parent; wanting them to understand the risks involved.

"If I take any more out of you - your body could shut down; you could go into a coma or cardiac arrest."

"You're wasting time." Rick waved Hershel's objections aside and knelt down beside his son and waved his arm again; preparing to give all that he could, even if it were his own life.

"Come on, man. We need a way out."

"Okay…just let me catch my breath." Otis panted harshly, leaning his back against yet another section of chain link fence. Every time they had attempted to make their way past the Walkers and out into the Athletic field, they had been beaten back. Both men were weary, fast running out of ammunition and time. Shane was limping badly due to his ankle injury and Otis was having to support Shane's weight and the heavy rucksacks.

"Okay, let's go…"

Carol eased slowly out of Daryl's arms and left him snoring gently on the narrow bunk; she watched as his hand fluttered a little as if it were seeking something and then saw him nuzzle into her pillow, relaxing into a more even breathing pattern. She gently covered him with her throw and made her way up onto the roof to join Dale.

"Can't sleep?"

"No, I'm just going to wait for them to come back. I've got this if you want to go and get some sleep." Dale looked over at her, seeing that whatever Daryl had said to her down below had brought a little peace to her eyes.

"No, we'll watch together."

"You don't need to worry." Carol said gently, watching as Dale continued to stare out in the direction that Merle had headed off to. She knew that his thoughts were probably not on her daughter but on another blonde head entirely. "She's with Merle. If something happens, he can protect her. You hear what I'm saying?"

"Sorry, all I heard was 'if something happens.'" Dale shifted his rifle off his shoulder and looked across to Carol. "You mind keeping watch?" Carol waved the offer of the rifle away with a little shiver.

"I don't know how to use that."

"I won't be gone long. If you see anything call out. I'm not going far, I'll hear you." Dale left Carol sitting on his lawn chair as he shouldered the rifle once more and climbed down the ladder.

Down in the RV, Daryl rolled over expecting to feel Carol's warm body pressing against him; instead he felt the cool glass of the window against his cheek and he woke with a start. Panicking he looked all around the RV; even peering around the small cubicle that posed as a bathroom, but unable to find her. Snatching up his crossbow he swiftly climbed the roof ladder, and called out:

"Dale! I can't find Carol…!"

"I'm right here, no need to shout. Do you want to be surrounded by Walkers?" Carol gave a little oomph as Daryl raced across the roof to crush her into his arms.

"God woman! You scared the everliving shit outta me? You tryin' ta give me a heart attack?"

"Mmmpf!"

"What?" Daryl loosened his hold a little and looked down at the silvery head pressed against his shoulder.

"I said I can't breathe!"

"Oh, sorry." Daryl dropped his arms and stepped back, feeling a little foolish at his overreaction. He looked around, searching for something to say that wouldn't make him feel like a complete dumbass. "So, you're on watch huh?" He finally settled on a neutral topic and then realised that the person that should have been on shift was nowhere in sight. "Hang on, where's Dale? He left you up here unprotected? That fuc—"

"Hardly unprotected, Daryl. You're here aren't you?" Carol chuckled at Daryl's outraged expression and then that bashful look as he looked down at his feet once more.

"Uh, yeah. Forgot about that…So, where's he gone anyway?"

"He was worried about Andrea being off in the woods with Merle. He's probably hanging around the guardrail ready to inspect her for any signs of lewd behaviour." Carol smirked over at Daryl and waved a hand in the direction that Dale had disappeared in.

"Huh, fat chance of that…Merle's got better taste than that piece of ass…Besides he won't let himself get distracted, not when he's out looking for 'Phia." Daryl sat down on the roof of the RV and squinted up at the sky. "It'll be light soon, they should be making their way back by now. I told Merle to head back before sunrise – the others will be wanting to move along to the farm."

"What did you mean earlier? That comment about Andrea being a piece of ass? You sampled that ass, Dixon?"

"Jeez, no!" Daryl nearly choked at Carol's teasing remark and turned his head up to face her. "I jest meant that she's tried her wiles on jest about every male in the camp…me included. Crazy ass, bitch…"

"Why'd you say that?"

"Well, I ain't exactly Hugh Jackman, am I?" Daryl spread his arms out indicating that he fell short of every woman's fantasy man.

"Oh, I don't know. I think you'd make a pretty good superhero…You're kind, considerate… and you make a mean squirrel stew. Daryl, not every woman wants some pretty young hunk with a six pack, surely you know that? A pretty face is okay, but a warm and gentle heart is what a woman really wants. Maybe that's what Andrea saw in you…"

"Nah…make some stupid comment about wanting to lick my tattoos and then tried to grab my junk."

"Oh…"

"Yeah…'Oh'…Never felt so violated in my life." Daryl shivered in remembrance and Carol leant down to place a hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense and then relax against her soothing touch. She slid out of the lawn chair to sit next to him on the roof; their legs dangling down over the front edge.

"This okay?" She questioned quietly, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable with her sitting so close.

"Huh?" Daryl asked, turning his head to squint at her.

"I mean, our shoulders touching…I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me."

"Don't talk stupid, woman. Never said I was uncomfortable with you." To prove it, Daryl slung an arm around Carol's shoulders, drawing her into his side. "Although sometimes you… Never mind."

"No, I really would like to know. If I've done something or said something that makes you uncomfortable, I would hope that you'd be able to tell me, please Daryl."

"Naw, it's nothing really…I jest…well, I've been trying to keep my distance since the CDC… You deserve something a whole lot better than the prick you ended up with, and I ain't convinced that you're ready for anything else, just yet." Daryl felt her stiffen in surprise against his arm and loosened his hold slightly, trying to move away. "Sorry, I ain't saying it to make you feel uncomfortable…I gotta a lot of feelings stirring up fer ya, woman and I'm tired of trying to hold it all inside."

"I'm not uncomfortable, why would you assume that I would be?" Carol pulled his arm more securely around his shoulder and shuffled closer.

"Carol, I'm tryin' to be a gentleman here…" Daryl remarked sternly and spoilt it by giving her a waist little squeeze and nuzzling into her neck. "I don't quite want to put a name to what I feel, I only know that it's been growing ever since the first time I saw you standing shaking out that bedroll, with the sun glinting on your hair and lighting up your freckles. God! I love those freckles…" Daryl nuzzled her neck again and then sat up straighter. "No…I'm determined not to think about your freckles or any other part of you until we find 'Phia."

"Daryl…" Carol whispered softly, tracing a gentle hand across his jaw to bring his head around to look at her. A faint smile trembled across her lips and Daryl captured her hand to rub his bristly chin against it.

"Don't say anything, please Carol. Let's just sit here and watch the sun come up together. Okay?"

"Okay."


	19. Chapter 19

"You got here right in time," Patricia looked up from where she was sewing closed the long gash in T-Dog's arm. "This couldn't go untreated much longer. 'Merle Dixon'. Is that your friend with the antibiotics?"

"His brother, ma'am." Glenn sipped a cup of coffee from the doorway, being sure to remain out of sight of the needle passing through his friends arm; the sight of needles always made his stomach roll.

"Not sure I'd exactly call him a friend." T-Dog whimpered as the needle jabbed through a particularly sore spot. Maggie held his hand down firmly with both hands, preventing him from moving.

"He is today. This doxycycline might have just saved your life. You know what Merle was taking it for?"

"Daryl mentioned Venereal Disease; I don't know whether he was joking or not, it's hard to tell sometimes." Glenn sipped again, feeling very uncomfortable talking about the clap in the presence of ladies.

"I'm thinking Merle Dixon's clap; if that's what it was; was the best thing that ever happened to you." Patricia spared a glance for the large man bracing himself against the edge of the table.

"I'm really trying not to think about that."

"He ever served in the military?" Patricia asked Glenn, and after receiving a nod response patted T-Dog's arm in consolation. "There you have it, Doxycycline is also used to treat malaria. If could have caught it in Africa, Asia, Central or South America, South Pacific or even Eastern Europe; nearly 700 million people a year used to die from it, stands to reason that he'd have a ready filled prescription just in case of a flare up."

"Uh-huh…aargggghhh!" At the sound of a strangled cry, Glenn held his hand over his eyes as he hurried out onto the porch; in desperate need of fresh air.

"Before it happened, we were standing there in the woods, and this deer just crossed right in front of us. I swear, it just planted itself there and looked Carl right in the eye. And I looked at Carl looking at that deer, and that deer looking right back at Carl. " Rick sat back in the rocking chair, Lori kneeling at his feet. "And that moment…just slipped away." He sighed heavily, looking down at where Lori rested her head on his knees. "That's what he was talking about when he woke up…not about getting shot or what happened at the church. He talked about something beautiful, something living. There's still a life for us, a place maybe like this. It isn't all death out there. It can't be. We just have to be strong enough after everything we've seen, to believe that. Why is it better for Carl to live even in this world? He talked about the deer, Lori. He talked about the deer."

"Gotta get to the street, double back to the truck." Otis and Shane stumbled and slipped to the ground.

"Look, we ain't gonna make it, okay?"

"Gotta try, man. Come on, get up."

"You're gonna take these bags and you're gonna go."

"I ain't leaving you behind." Otis stared over at Shane, lying on the ground; pain from his ankle leaving his face pale and weary.

"Okay." Shane pressed both hands firmly onto the concrete, using his upper body strength to force himself up. "How many rounds you got left?" Shane asked, both men checked their pockets and Otis opened his hand.

"Four. You?"

"Five and one in the pipe."

"He's still losing blood faster than we can replace it. And with the swelling in his abdomen, we can't wait any longer or he's just going to slip away. Now I need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time. You have to make a choice." Hershel made his last comment into a demand and Lori whirled around.

"A choice?"

"A choice. You have to tell me what it is." Rick begged Lori to make the decision, not wanting to be the one willing to let Carl just slip away. "You have to tell me what it is." He whispered softly again. Lori raised a hand to gentle caress Rick's cheek. "We do it," she said through her tears.

"Okay, get the corner of that bed. Let's get the sheets down." Hershel went into full 'doctor' mode as Patricia wheeled in a surgical steel table, brought in from the veterinary clinic. "C'mon everybody! Get the IV bag on the sheet." He ordered Rick and on three they all grabbed a corner of the sheet and lifted Carl onto the waiting table. "Rick, Lori, you may want to step out." Hershel raised a scalpel and it hovered in the air just above Carl's abdomen. The sound of a rumbling vehicle approaching had them all going to the window to see the familiar blue Ford entering the front yard.

"You stay here with him," Hershel ordered Patricia, as he and Rick raced outside to gather the medical supplies from Shane.

"Carl?" Shane asked, almost fearful of the answer; handing over the bags and limping forward.

"There's still a chance," replied Rick quietly.

Otis?" Hershel questioned, glancing in the truck to see the passenger seat empty. Shane shook his head slowly.

"No…"  
"We say nothing to Patricia…not until after. I need her." Hershel turned away, and motioned for Glenn to follow him inside with the remaining bag; leaving Shane, Rick and Lori outside. Rick pulled Shane into a hug, not realising that Shane held himself stiffly away.

"They kept blocking us at every turn. We had nothing left, we were down to ten rounds. Then he said…he said he'd cover me and that I should keep going. So that's what I did. I just…I kept going. But I…I looked back and he…just…I tried…" Shane broke off, unable to continue; but not meeting anyone's eyes.

"He wanted to make it right," Rick placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"I've known Otis since I was a kid, he's run this farm since before my mother died." Maggie sat at the kitchen table with Glenn.

"Who else? Who'd you lose?" Glenn walked over to where there were a ton of photographs taped to the refrigerator door.

Maggie sniffled as she walked over to the photos and pointed out her lost family, one by one. "Stepmother. Stepbrother…"

Rick and Lori were sitting quietly on the front steps waiting for any news, it seemed to be all that they could do for the present. They looked up at the creak of the screen door, and watched Hershel approach them, wiping his hands on a clean towel.

"He seems to have stabilised." That was all he had time to say, before Rick enveloped him in a hug, whispering a silent prayer of thanks up to God.

"I don't have words…" Lori pressed her fingers to her lips and moved her fingers out to Hershel.

"I don't either…wish I did. How do I tell Patricia about Otis?" Rick looked over at Lori.

"You go to Carl. I'll go with Hershel." Rick glanced over at Shane, who was still leaning against the hood of Otis' blue Ford. Rick and Hershel stepped into the house, preparing to break the news to Otis' wife. Shane slowly followed, limping heavily; he paused when he saw Patricia falling apart in the kitchen before continuing on to check in on Carl.

"Stay." Lori whispered softly, Shane shook his head and continued through the house until he met Maggie coming down the stairs.

"The bathroom's upstairs. I brought you some clothes." She handed him a pile of clothes that looked like denim overalls.

"Thank you."

"They won't fit well. They were Otis'." Shane held the clothes and headed upstairs to take a much need shower – unable to get Otis' final moments out of his head. It was even worse when he looked in the mirror to see a small bald patch in his hair where it had been gripped tightly and then pulled out by the roots….

_"How many rounds you got left?"_

_"Four, you?"_

_"Five and one in the pipe."_

_"Come on!"_

_"Down to my last."_

_"Me, too. I'm sorry." Shane looked the other man in the eye as he calmly raised his gun and shot him in the leg. He reached over and tugged the rucksack out of Otis' grasp and tried to ignore his cries of pain. It was then that Otis reached up and grabbed a chunk of Shane's hair in an effort to keep the other man from leaving him. Shane kicked at the bullet wound on Otis' leg, making him fall back in pain and tearing out a chunk of hair in the process. Shane hobbled away, trying desperately to ignore the agonised screams coming from behind him. When the screams fell silent - that was when the slurping began and Shane wasn't sure which sound would haunt him most. Was it the scream of 'You can't leave me!' or was it the almost silent sound of the Walker's feeding? – Either way he knew that it would be a long time before he would be able to forget both._


	20. Chapter 20

The morning mist slowly dissipated over Hershel's farm; the hot Georgia sun burning it away despite the early hour. Jimmy, Beth, T-Dog, Shane and Glenn were out near the edge of the yard moving stones into the wheelbarrow when the familiar rumbling of Dale's RV and Merle's bike rose over the fields. They'd also picked up a silver Hyundai from the highway; jamming it full of items salvaged from the abandoned cars.

"Fever's gone down." Hershel announced from where he had just finished examining a still sleeping Carl. As he looked over at Carl's tired and anxious parent's, the boy started to grumble in his sleep; a sign that he was slowly coming around.

"Baby?" Lori leant over the bed and grasped one of Carl's lax hands. "Carl?" Carl's eyes opened slowly as he tried to focus his gaze on his parents staring down at him.

"Sophia? Is she okay?" Carl asked hoarsely; his friend's safety being the first thing on his mind.

"Fine. She's fine." Rick lied convincingly, not wanting Carl to suffer a setback if he discovered the truth; that no one knew whether Sophia was okay as they had yet to find her.

"Rest," Lori urged. "We'll be right here, okay?"

"Okay." Carl nodded slightly as his eyes drifted closed again. Lori and Rick turned as T-Dog peered his head around the door.

"They're here." He announced. Hershel led Rick and Lori outside where the farm occupants and the Atlanta group congregated on the porch to meet the new arrivals.

"How is he?" Dale asked, reaching Lori first. She nodded smilingly as she addressed the whole crowd.

"He'll pull through thanks to Hershel and his people..."

"And Shane…" Rick added, nodding over at his friend; who was skirting the edge of the crowd and keeping his mouth shut. "We'd have lost Carl if not for him." Dale stepped forward and enfolded Rick into a fatherly hug. Behind him, Carol was doing the same with Lori, whispering: "Thank God," over and over into her ear. "We were so worried," Carol whispered as she stepped back from Lori, still keeping a hold of the younger woman's hand.

"How'd it happen?" Dale asked Rick, stepping back from the embrace.

"Hunting accident. That's all. Just a stupid accident."

Later that afternoon, everyone gathered in the shade of the trees at the rear of the property. They had used the stones gathered from the yard earlier in the day to erect a memorial to the fallen Otis. Everyone stepped forward to lay the stones one by one as Hershel read from his Bible.

"Otis, who gave his life to save a child; now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace." Hershel closed the bible and turned to the silent Shane. "Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

"I'm not good at it. I'm sorry." Shane mumbled, dropping his head forward in an attempt to ward off any further conversations; feeling guilty for the way he had callously sacrificed the other man to save his own skin.

"You were the last one with him," Patricia said tearfully, "Will you shared his final moments. Please, I need to hear." She begged, crying softly. "I need to know his death had meaning."

"Okay." Shane reluctantly agreed, trying to think of a convincing story to spin; he took a deep breath and began: "We were about done; almost outta ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad; ankle all swollen up. 'We've got to save the boy,' see, that's what he said." Shane paused as the image of Otis falling down in agony flashed in his mind and he swallowed hard against the bile threatening to rise in his throat. "He gave me his backpack." _Liar! You ripped it right out of his hands! _"He shoved me ahead." _Liar! He begged you not to leave him! _"'Run,' he said. He said 'I'll take the rear. I'll cover you.'" _Liar! He couldn't speak because his throat was being torn apart! _"And when I looked back…" Shane stopped speaking and looked around the group; he limped forward holding the final stone. "If not for Otis…" He said, placing the stone on the very top of the mound, "I'd have never made it out alive." _True, you let him die just so that you could be the one to get out in one piece. _"And that goes for Carl, too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning it was his." _True, true, true. Shut the fuck up!_ Shane was screaming at his conscience to let him be…_ please, just leave me alone…I can't take it anymore…._

"How long's this girl been lost?" Hershel asked as he and a few of the others were gathered around one of the farm vehicles, using the hood as a table to spread out survey maps of the farm and surrounding area.

"This'll be day three." Rick stated quietly, moving aside as Maggie approached with another set of maps.

"County survey map." She said, as she unrolled the map out on the hood. "Shows terrain and elevations." Rick placed several small stones on the corners to hold the map in place and bent over to study it in more detail.

"This is perfect. We can finally get this thing organised. We'll grid the whole area, start searching in teams."

"Not you, not today." Hershel told him firmly. "You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out." He turned to Shane next. "Your ankle, push it now and you'll be laid up a month, no good to anybody."

"Guess it's just me and Merle." Daryl stated, leaning over the map. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way back from there."

"Yeah, I'll go with Daryl but push on a few miles **away** from the creek; she may have lost sight of the sun and wandered away from the Highway instead of towards it. I'll take a tent and bedding with me in case I don't make it back before dark." Merle leant over and made a rough circle with his finger above where Daryl would be searching. Both men stood up and hefted their weapons; Daryl with his ever present crossbow and Merle with a machete hooked to his belt loops. They nodded at the rest and wandered over to say their goodbyes to Carol; who was helping set up camp with Glenn. Rick watched them bending down to speak quietly with the grieving mother, thinking how different the two men were in appearance and yet shared the same walk and gestures that spoke of a lifetime shared. He would have never expected the two rough looking rednecks to be able to treat a woman and her child with such tenderness; and he expected that on Daryl's part at least, there was just a touch more than mere friendship involved. He hadn't missed the way the hunter's eyes followed her every movement and the way that even back on the road, both men seemed to gravitate to wherever Carol or Sophia happened to be.

"I can still be useful. I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back." Shane tapped the interstate on the map and looked over at Rick for confirmation; pulling him back into the conversation and away from the thoughts of the Dixon siblings.

"All right, tomorrow then. We'll start doing this right."

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives. They need the gun training that we've been promising them." Shane leant over in earnest, aware that Andrea had been pushing the issue for days. Rick was willing to agree but then Hershel made a shock announcement:

"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property. We've managed so far without turning this into an armoured camp."

"All due respect, you get a crowd of this things wandering in here…" Shane shook his head in disagreement and let his voice trail off.

"We're guests here. This is your property and we will respect that." Rick nodded over to Hershel and gave Shane an impatient look, removing his pistol from the holster and laid it on the hood of the truck. Shane gave a sigh, and shaking his head laid out his weapon too.

"First things first," Rick stated, "Set camp, find Sophia."

"I hate to be the one to ask, but someone's got to." Shane hung his head and looked over at Rick. "What happens if we find her and she's bit? I think we should all be clear on how we handle that."

Rick met Shane's troubled gaze and nodded slowly, "You do what has to be done." He finally stated.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie asked, doubt shadowing her eyes.

"The truth." Andrea stated bluntly, and turned away; not having surrendered her pistol with the rest.

"I'll gather and secure all the weapons. Make sure no one's carrying till we're at a practise range off site. I do request one rifleman on lookout. Dale's got experience; as does Merle." Shane laid out his terms and Hershel still said nothing, Rick turned to ram the point home.

"Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun." Hershel slowly nodded his agreement and Rick heaved a sigh of relief: "Thank you."

"That stuff you brought, got more antibiotics, bandages, anything like that?" Maggie questioned, turning to face Rick; who looked over to Andrea for confirmation.

"Just what you've seen." Andrea stated and followed after Shane.

"We're running short already. I should make a run into town." Maggie explained to her father, only for Rick to turn pale at her suggestion.

"Not the place Shane went?"

"No." She reassured him, "There's a pharmacy just a mile down the road. I've done it before." Rick turned to indicate Glenn setting up camp behind them.

"See our man there in the baseball cap? That's Glenn, our go-to-town expert. I'd ask him along just to be cautious." Hershel inclined his head over in Glenn's direction and Maggie reluctantly nodded.


	21. Chapter 21

Shane stepped out of the RV carrying the bag of weapons and nearly ploughed straight into Lori who heading inside the RV for more equipment for the camp. They stood nervously staring at each other; each desperately trying to think of a way of breaking the awkwardness between them.

"I hear he woke up." Shane finally said, raising his eyes to meet Lori's. It was the first time the two of them had been alone, really alone; since Rick's arrival back at the quarry.

"Yeah…drifting in and out, but yeah he'll be all right." Lori smiled widely and Shane felt his heart stutter at the sight. He looked down at his feet and then looked back up, forcing an answering smile to his face.

"That's good." He stated and picked up the bag to walk past her. He stopped before he'd even taken two steps and called back: "Did you mean it?" He turned around to see that Lori had paused on the steps of the RV.

"What?" She asked, confusion wrinkling her brow.

"You said stay. Did you mean it?" Shane took a step in her direction and Lori turned around to face him fully. "Look, if you didn't, just say so. But do it now. I need to know."

"I meant it."

"All right then." A brief smile flickered over Shane's face and he turned to walk away, a little lighter in step. Lori stood by the RV watching him go and already regretting her quick remark. She meant 'stay' as in 'stay with the group, help protect us' and not 'stay with me, love me.' Rick was back now and they were together again; her hand flittered lightly over her abdomen before she snatched it away and turned to mount the steps of the RV.

"I hear you're fast on your feet and know how to get in and out." Maggie placed her hands on her hips and looked over at Glenn, startling him with her sudden appearance. He blinked at her, not quite knowing how to respond. Was it an innuendo or a serious question?

"Got a pharmacy run. You in?" Ah, a serious question then.

"Uh…" He hesitated in responding and was saved by Dale's question coming from behind them.

"Miss, what's the water situation here?"  
"Got five wells on our land. House draws directly from number one, number two wells right over there." She pointed at a spot out in the middle of the field. "We use it for the cattle, but it's just as pure. Take what you. There's a cart and containers in the generator shed behind the house." She turned to Glenn who was still dumbstruck in her presence. "I'll go saddle your horse then." Glenn's mouth dropped open as she strode off in the direction of the stables, and he turned to Dale.

"Horse…?"

"Give up our guns?" Andrea found Shane setting up his cleaning station on an old wooden picnic bench beneath a stand of trees at the far end of the camp; where the RV was parked.

"You heard Rick. We're guests here."

"And you're okay with it?" Andrea simply couldn't believe that Shane would just willing hand over his only form of protection.

"I don't recall being asked. Now give up your weapon."

"You mean like rolling over. I don't." Andrea held tightly onto the canvas shoulder bag where her gun was stored.

"Look, I have to strip and clean them anyway. You still want to learn?" Shane looked up, preparing to compromise a little. "Go on." He nodded toward the table and Andrea gave a little huff as she placed her pistol on the table.

"All right. Sit down." Andrea placed her bag on the bench and sat down. "Unload your weapon." Andrea picked up the pistol, preparing to eject the clip; pistol pointing directly at Shane. Shane's hand reached out to cover hers, pushing the pistol so that it was facing away from them both. "Hey, hey. Check the chamber. Pull it back." He waited until she followed his instructions and then continued. "That's it. Push that lever out. Pull the slide off." Shane waited until Andrea had successfully completed each stage before instructing her on the next task. "You're halfway there." She smiled broadly, proud of her accomplishments.

Rick was sitting on the front porch steps as Daryl and Merle came into view. He called out to them;

"Daryl. You okay on your own?" Daryl motioned for Merle to carry on without him and strolled over to answer Rick.

"I'm better on my own. Don't worry, I'll be back before dark." Daryl shook off Rick's concerns and turned to resume his trek.

"Hey! We got a base. We can get this search properly organised now."

"You got a point or are we just chattin'?" Daryl hitched his crossbow higher on his shoulder, itching to get started.

"My point is it lets you off the hook. You don't owe us anything."

"My other plans fell through." Daryl muttered sarcastically and strode off to rejoin Merle waiting for him at the edge of the property. _Pompous ass! Thinkin' that I'd just give up lookin' for 'Phia just like that! Smug bastards can sit on their asses all day long as far as I care – I ain't ready to quit on the girl just yet._

"What did Officer Friendly want with you this time?" Merle asked as Daryl reached his side, he could tell by the expression on his face that whatever it was had ticked him off good.

"Tellin' me I was off the hook; that I didn't need to keep on searchin' for Sophia. What, did they think I would really just stop lookin' just because they have a 'base' now? Can you really see any of them tryin' to trace a little girl that could be anywhere within' ten miles from here? Rick couldn't even make out Sophia's tracks on that first day and they were right in front of him! Christ, Merle! It's been two days already, do they really think that we can just afford to sit on our asses for yet another day and do nuthin'?"

"Whoa! Calm down, 'lil brother." Merle held up his hands in surrender, recognising the barely simmering rage in Daryl's eyes. "Between the two of us, we should be able to find one little girl, doncha think? So let's stop all this pussy footin' around and go bring her back!"

Hershel stepped out of the house to join Rick on the porch; he was going to walk around the perimeter of the property with the other man; looking for any signs of Sophia. Rick was still looking at the retreating figures of Daryl and Merle striding toward the highway and then onto the creek. He couldn't make out what he had said to make the other man suddenly look so angry… He looked up as Hershel moved up to stand beside him and gestured over to where the weathered A-Frame building stood.

"We could give you more space, set up over by the barn." Rick offered, knowing that the other man resented their presence on his land.

"No. No need for that. It's better that you stay close to the house. I don't say this easily, Rick. We don't normally take in strangers. I can't have your people thinking this is permanent. Once you find this girl and your boy's fit for travel, I expect you'll move on. We need to be clear on that." Hershel swung a water bottle over his shoulder, and armed with a map, prepared to join the search for Sophia.

"Hello, farmer's daughter…" Glenn was waiting for Maggie to return with the promised horses and caught sight of her arrival through the binoculars. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of her tank top wearing top half only to pull them away from his eyes when Lori stepped right in front of him.

"Hi. Here's your list." Lori handed over the list containing the items most required; the usual toiletry items plus everything that Hershel required to restock his medical supplies. Lori hesitated and then reached into her back pocket for another list; folded into a small square.

"And…There's one other item, I wrote it down separately. It's personal. If we could be **real** discreet about that, okay?"

"Sure." Glenn opened up the tiny square as Lori thanked him and started to walk way. He frowned down at the writing. "Ah, what is it?"

"Kind of missing the point of the whole discreet thing, Glenn." Lori half turned toward him and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, right. Yeah…" Lori walked away and Glenn hurried after her, still not quite understanding the item listed. "I just need to know where to find it." He said quietly, Lori paused thought for a moment about how to word her response, she finally settled for: "Try the feminine hygiene section."

"Oh. Enough said. Consider it done." Glenn looked down at the note, a flush staining his cheeks at the thought of having to root through boxes of tampons and other sanitary items and wishing that Lori had given that particular list to Maggie.


	22. Chapter 22

Daryl and Merle had split up before reaching the creek after Daryl saw the faint outline of rooftops poking through the trees.

"Y'll go on ahead; I just wanna check this out, I'll catch up with you in a few."

"I'll wait an hour before moving on; leave you as sign at the creek pointing out my direction. Stay safe, 'lil brother." Brother nodded to brother and Merle slipped away into the trees. Daryl moved forward, slipping his cross bow off his back to hold it across his arms; ready to pick off anything that didn't move like it was alive. He stepped out of the bushes and faced a rotting timber, framed house in a small clearing. He approached the house cautiously, crossbow at the ready and broke his way through the wooden front door. He searched the lower floor rooms, making his way into the kitchen at the rear. Something caught his eye in the kitchen bin, and he bent his head to sniff at the open can of sardines. They smelt relatively fresh, no more than a day or two old. A creak of an old wooden door at the far end of the kitchen had him lifting his head, all senses springing into action.

Daryl crept forward and teased open the door with the edge of his crossbow. What he saw on the floor of the tiny pantry made his heart leap into his throat. Underneath the shelving was a ratty, tattered scrap of and old worn quilt lying next to an equally filthy pillow. What had caught his attention was the small dent in the pillow and a discarded fluffy, purple hairband. He leant down to pick up the hairband and gently caressed the few stray, blonde hairs that had been caught in it; probably when a very tired little girl nestled down to rest in the only place she could find.

Daryl ran his fingers over the hairband and thought about when he last saw it. Sophia usually had an aversion to wearing her shoulder length hair confined in a ponytail; preferring to keep it off her face with an Alice band instead. He smiled as he remembered seeing it wrapped around her wrist while Carol scolded her gently for not wearing it in her hair where it belonged. "Guess you lost the Alice band when ya ran off; must've decided to finally pay attention to ya Mama and tied ya hair back instead." Daryl carefully placed the hairband in the inside pocket of his vest and stepped back out of the pantry. He scanned the kitchen and the rest of the house carefully looking for any indication as to where Sophia might have run to next but found nothing else inside. "At least we know that you were close, or at least you were a day ago." He patted his pocket, making sure the hairband was still safely nestled there and went outside to check the surrounding area.

"Sophia…? Sophia…?" Daryl called out in intervals as he searched all around the outside of the house, checking for shoe impressions in the dirt. The gardens were a mess; the house abandoned long before the Walkers came to the area. Daryl paused something white and fragile caught his eye. In the middle of overgrown vines and decay he saw a small Cherokee rose bush with two perfect blossoms; the only thing still alive in the whole garden, if you didn't count the weeds. He knelt before the bush and carefully plucked a single flower, tucking it into his pocket for safe keeping.

Shane had kept his promise and returned to the interstate, taking Carol and Andrea with him. He kept watch as Carol painted a large white sign on the windscreen of a yellow car.

'_Sophia, stay here. We will come every day.' _They'd also left a supply of food and drink on the trunk of the car in case the little girl made it back on her own. Carol leant against the car, silently watching the place in the rail where she had last seen Sophia and was roused from her thoughts at the gentle touch of Andrea's hand on her shoulder.

"We'll come again tomorrow. You know there's always the chance…"

"Don't." Carol said, cutting Andrea off before she could complete her sentence. "I really don't need to hear it anymore, Andrea. Save the thoughts and prayers…" Carol had resigned herself to the fact that she may never see her little girl again and was sick of the platitudes and insincerity that everyone around her seemed to love spouting out. The only ones that remotely seemed sincere in any way were Daryl and Merle. Andrea remained silent at Carol's comment and just touched Carol lightly again on the arm as she stepped away.

"You never know, Carol…" Shane started to add, and Carol winced as she held up a hand to stop him. He left her alone for a moment longer and then quietly suggested that it was time they made their way back to the farm.

"You know, normally this is the kind of thing that I do on my own. Solo. It's kind of my thing, you know? I'm a loner." Glenn tried to break the silence between himself and the now silent Maggie. "You all right? I saw the look on your face back at the well." A Walker had fallen into well number two and Glenn had been lowered into the well as live bait to try and wrap a rope around it in order to haul it out. Unfortunately the Walker had split in half as they attempted to pull it out and they'd been forced to close down the well. "You never seen one killed up close before?" Glenn asked and Maggie shook her head, keeping silent. "I guess it's kind of a shock. You know being out on the road, we've seen a lot. Guess we've gotten a little numb to it."

"Whoa." Maggie drew her horse to a halt outside the pharmacy and looked over at the very talkative Glenn. "I guess so. You sure do talk a lot when you're nervous." They entered the pharmacy which was nearly stripped bare. "I'll go see what antibiotics are left. What else is on the list?"

Glenn reached into his pocket to pull out the list and scanned it for the other items. "Why don't you get started?" He handed it over to Maggie and kept Lori's list to himself.

"What about you?" Maggie questioned, seeing the other list in his hand.

"I'm gonna look around, see what's worth grabbing. Just general stuff." Glenn made his way over to the feminine hygiene section; placing baby shampoo and Tampons in his basket. He checked over the items strewn across the floor and finally picked up what Lori had written on her list – 'True Blue'. His eyes widened when he fully realised what he was holding in his hand, Lori had requested a pregnancy test kit. He shoved the item into the bottom of his rucksack and grabbed the first thing on the shelf that he came to as he heard Maggie's footsteps approaching him from behind.

"What you got?" Maggie asked as Glenn tossed the box he'd picked up from hand to hand, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Ah…nothing. General stuff as I said." Maggie's eyes narrowed in on the box in Glenn's hand.

"Condoms…? You got a girlfriend I don't know about?"

"Me, no. No!"

"Then you're a pretty confident guy."

"No. No, no, no. I wasn't…I would never…" Glenn threw the packet of condoms back on the shelf and tried to stutter out an explanation. "Something wrong with me?" She asked, slipping her hat off and placing that on the shelf behind Glenn.

"No. No, I… I would never have sex…" Glenn told himself to shut up and wishing the ground would open up and swallow him. He shook his head, "I'm lost."

"I'll have sex with you." Maggie stated quietly, watching Glenn's eyes widen in shock.

"Really? Why?"

"You're asking questions?"

"Okay, I can't help wondering."

"It's not like our options are vast these days." Maggie placed her saddlebags onto the ground and approached him slowly. She reached over and slipped his ball cap off his head and leant in to press a soft kiss against his lips. "You're not the only one that's lonely." She drew back to whisper softly. Maggie reached down with trembling hands and stripped off her tank top, followed by her bra. Glenn removed his sweat stained T-shirt and they sank slowly to the floor.


	23. Chapter 23

"You need to reconsider." Rick stated as he and Hershel returned back to the farm in the late afternoon.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Asking us to leave. You need to reconsider. If you saw how it is out there, you wouldn't ask. You're a man of belief. If you believe anything, believe that." Rick stood watching Carol preparing dinner, Andrea hanging out the laundry; all normal activities if you didn't count on it being in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

"You're putting me on the spot." Hershel shook his head at the other man's attempt to sway his mind.

"Well, I mean to. Those people look to me for answers. I wish they didn't, but they do. But I'm not asking for them or myself. I'm asking for my boy. After the price your friend Otis paid, the least you can do is give it some thought."

"You're a plain spoken man."

"I'm a father. He's the one thing I don't want to fail." Rick stepped over to the porch and sat down on the top step, looking over at the makeshift camp set up near the house. "I feel like I do every day." Rick looked down at his hands. "I lied to him this morning. It wasn't a big lie, but it was enough."

"My father didn't bother with comforting lies." Hershel propped one leg up on the porch and looked down at Rick. "He used his fist. He was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody. He drove me from home when I was 15. Didn't lay eyes on this place again for many years. I was not at his deathbed, Rick. I would not grant him that and to this day do not regret it. Some men do not earn the love of their sons." Hershel took a seat next to Rick, "I don't see you having that problem." Rick smiled over in thanks.

"Will you consider my request?" Rick pleaded with Hershel to reconsider letting them stay on the farm. Hershel sighed and looked over at the near exhausted father.

"There are aspects to this, things that I can't and won't discuss. But if you and your people respect my rules, no promises, but I will consider it. You have my word."

"You have mine." They shook hands briefly to seal the deal and Rick entered the house to check on Carl.

"I'll sit with him." Rick said, taking a seat in the armchair next to the bed. Lori had been dozing on the bed next to Carl and sat up sleepily.

"He was awake earlier when you were gone. He asked for you." Rick nodded and Lori placed a gentle kiss on Carl's hair and left the room. She met Glenn out in the yard who had just returned from the pharmacy run with Maggie.

"Did you find it?" She asked abruptly, Glenn nodded and reached into the bottom of the rucksack. He pulled out a small white sack and handed it over. Lori stuffed the package under her shirt and nodded in thanks; Glenn said nothing and simply strode away; feeling used after Maggie had callously brushed off the incident in the pharmacy as a 'one time thing.' Lori stared after his retreating back wondering whether it was she who had upset him.

Daryl pulled open the door of the RV and scanned the inside, looking for Carol. He didn't see her instantly just looked on in amazement at how clean and tidy the inside was. All of the dishes had been washed and were stacked on the draining board in neat little piles and he saw that even the nets and drapes had been washed and pressed. He finally saw Carol stitching in the back, sewing the hem on a chair covering that she had pulled out of one of the cupboards. She looked up as she saw him enter and smiled a little at his raised brow.

"I cleaned up a little. Wanted it to be nice for her."

"For a second I thought I was in the wrong place." Daryl reached a hand behind him and pulled forward a beer bottle into which he had placed the Cherokee rose blossom that he had plucked from the abandoned garden.

"A flower?" Carol looked up in surprise. Daryl flushed a little and squirmed uncomfortably before coming in to perch on the edge of the bunk.

"It's a Cherokee rose. The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much, 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer, asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers' tears fell. I believe this one bloomed for Sophia." Tears were streaming down Carol's face, despite her telling Andrea and Shane not to give her mindless platitudes and false promises; the simple story of hope as told by Daryl was enough to make her wish with all of her might.

Daryl pulled a red scarf out of his back pocket and leant forward to gently wipe away her tears. "I think she's gonna really like it in here, Carol." Carol sniffed and gave him tremulous smile.

"Daryl, I'm so scared that I'm never going to see her again. This will be the third night that she's been out in the cold, all alone…" Carol pressed her face in her hands; hating the weak and pitiful creature that she had suddenly become. Daryl scooted forward on the bunk and enfolded her into his warm embrace, murmuring softly into her hair.

"Aw, baby don't cry. Sshh, it's gonna be okay." He rubbed his hands over her back and she buried her head against his shoulder. He went to draw back slightly, suddenly conscious of the fact that he had been running around all day and probably smelt the same too. "Wouldn't get too close, Carol. I probably stink worse than a pole cat."

"I don't mind…you always just smell like you…that combination of the leather from your vest, a faint tang of tobacco and a fresh outdoorsy fragrance that's uniquely yours. I can always tell whenever you enter the room…" Carol rubbed her hand against her nose and felt Daryl press his scarf into her hand.

"Hmmm, not sure whether that's a good thing or not." He scooted back against the wall propping his legs on the bunk, and pulling her up alongside him. She curled herself against his side, resting her head into that perfect spot between his shoulder and neck; convinced that it was made exactly for her head to fit. As Carol didn't seem to mind his fragrance, Daryl shifted on the bunk to rest his head against the soft pillow.

"Carol, what you said earlier about Sophia being out alone in the cold? I don't think that she was, at least for the first night anyway…"

"How do you know?"

"As Merle and I were heading for the creek, I spotted the roof of a house through the trees. It was a fairly crapped out wreck of a place, but I found something inside which made me think Sophia had spent at least one night in there…" Daryl reached in between their bodies, muttering a brief 'excuse me' when the back of his fingers briefly brushed the underside of her soft breast; to reach inside his vest pocket. He kept his fingers tightly closed as he withdrew his hand. "Close your eyes for a moment, and wait until I tell you to open them again."

Carol obeyed his soft request and felt something small and soft being placed into her hand. Daryl pressed a warm kiss to her warm palm and then softly whispered; "You can open them now."

Carol opened her eyes and looked down, gasping at the sight of the small object sitting in her palm.

"Oh!" She gasped softly and felt more tears threatening behind her eyelids.

"I found it in the pantry of that old house. There was a pillow and a scrappy old quilt. This was lyin' on the pillow and I figured that she'd lost her Alice band when she ran off and pulled her hair back with this. Look, there's still some hair wrapped around the fluffy bits." Daryl pointed out the thin, blonde strands wrapped around the material and Carol brought the band up to her nose to breathe in the scent of the sweet apple shampoo that Sophia had washed her hair with just a few days ago.

"Ya can cry now if ya want, I don't mind…" Daryl opened his arms up and patted his shoulder, indicating that it was there to lean on if needed. Carol leant forward and brushed a kiss against his cheek and simply smiled, a little wobbly, but it was there.

"No, Daryl. I don't need to cry anymore tonight. You've given me the first real piece of tangible evidence that my baby is still out there. I don't know how to thank you."

"Don't need no thanks, not from you."

"You have it anyway." Carol nestled back into Daryl's shoulder, slipping the hairband around her own wrist and running her fingers over it again and again. Daryl's hand came to rest over her own, their fingers entwining, each holding that little piece of Sophia close. They remained there for a while, not speaking, until the evening shadows began to climb the walls.

"Better get back to my camp; see whether Merle made it back; don't want to give anyone cause to gossip… You be okay in here on your own?" Daryl untwined himself reluctantly and rose to his feet.

"I'll be fine…and besides I'm not alone. If I get lonely, I can just look at the flower and it will remind me of you; and I have this to remind me of Sophia." Carol plucked at the purple hairband on her wrist and walked Daryl over to the door.

"Jest give me a holler if ya need me and I'll come runnin'. See ya at dinner?"

"See you at dinner." Daryl squeezed her hand gently in parting and slipped out of the door to disappear silently into the twilight.


	24. Chapter 24

Back at the farm, Carl opened his eyes to see his father sitting beside the bed. "Hey Dad." Rick looked over at Carl and smiled. "Hey." He replied softly and sat up in the chair; coughing a little to clear his throat. "Carl, I told you something earlier today about Sophia…"

"I know," Carl replied, nodding slightly; a sad look in his eyes. "Mom told me." Rick looked down at his hands and chuckled ruefully. "And here I was getting ready to confess. I didn't mean to lie. I just didn't want to worry you." Rick shook his head and looked over at his son, watching him so intently from the bed. "It's a stupid excuse, but it's all I got."

"It's okay," Carl replied quietly. "Do you think we'll find her?"

"I know we will." Rick hesitated not wanting to pile lie upon lie. "Well, I don't **know**, but I truly believe it." Carl nodded and then examined his father's face noticing the new lines and gaunt expression.

"You look tired."

Rick looked over and smiled faintly. "I am…tired."

"Hey, I'm like you now. We've both been shot. Isn't that weird?" They chuckled in wry amusement; and thought that in ordinary circumstances it would definitely not be something that he would have wanted to bond over.

"Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes; so let's keep that between us." Carl chuckled again at Rick's attempt at levity.

"Since you're in the club now, you get to wear the hat. Didn't you know?" Rick leant over the bed to place his Departmental issued brown Stetson on Carl's head, smiling at the sight it made drooping over his forehead. "We'll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better."

Carl ran a hand over the soft brim and looked over at Rick. "Won't you miss it?"

"Maybe you'll let me borrow it from time to time."

"We can share it." Carl stated, setting the hat firmer on the back of his head. Rick smiled again softly.

"Okay," he agreed. "Sleep now."

"Okay. I love you, Dad."

"I love you." Carl tipped the hat forward so that it fell completely over his eyes and settled back against the pillows. Rick kept watch for a while until he was certain Carl was sleeping and then quietly left the room.

Lori watched from the doorway as Rick unpinned his badge and name plate from his uniform shirt and placed them in the top drawer of the dresser. She said nothing, just came up behind him and helped removed his t-shirt. From behind she gently caressed the still healing scar from his gunshot and met Rick's eyes in the mirror.

"Are you putting them away?" Rick didn't answer with words, he simply slid the drawer shut and Lori wrapped her arms around his bare chest; hugging herself to his back.

"Stay with him a while longer, I'm gonna wait up." She pressed a series of kisses to Rick's back and neck and left the room. Rick watched her walk away from his position in front of the mirror and thought that there was something more weighing on her mind than Carl, he just didn't know quite what it was, and to be honest, he was too tired to even try to work it out.

Lori wandered outside hugging her arms to her chest, she paused outside their camp checking that her knife was securely in her pocket and then carried on walking until she was certain that she wouldn't be disturbed. She pulled the test kit test out of her pocket and dropped her pants to pee on the stick. She spent the obligatory waiting period hoping and praying that she wasn't right; that it was just stress sendin her cycle out of kilter. "Please, God. I'm begging you. Don't let there be a baby, please not after every we've been through.

She glanced down at the stick in her hand, and felt like wailing in despair. The weight of the result seemed to weigh heavily on her shoulders and she slumped to the ground, hoping that it was just a faulty response. A false positive, if you like. She pulled the second test strip out of the package and managed to squeeze out another stream of urine. She leant over to place the strip on a fallen log and zipped her pants back up. She clasped her hands together tightly in her lap and whispered a quick prayer before reaching over to retrieve the test. The same result. Positive. She threw both kits back in the paper bag and folded it over and over again; before ramming it into her pant pocket. She closed her eyes tightly and felt hot angry tears seeping through her lashes.

"Oh, God! Why now? Why me? What am I gonna do?"


	25. Chapter 25

_Shane sat in his patrol car fiddling with the stereo trying to find a station, any station that might give them an update on the current situation. He, Carl and Lori were currently sitting in the middle of a stationary queue of traffic on the interstate; where they had been 'parked' for nearly the whole afternoon and most of the evening. Carl had made friends with the daughter of the couple from the next car along and he and the girl, Sophia, were currently sitting on the tail gate of her Daddy's Cherokee playing chequers. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look up into the darkened sky as the sound of helicopter's whirred overhead._

_"Are we gonna go soon?" Sophia asked her mother. Carol stopped checking the sky to tell her daughter honestly. "I don't know, baby. I sure hope so."_

_"I'm hungry." Carl whined quietly, Lori looked over and playfully ruffled his dark brown hair._

_"I know, Carl. We all are." Carol turned around to face his anxious mother._

_"Why don't I get him something to eat? Ed's into all this survival stuff. We've got enough MREs to feed a small army." _

_"I'd sure appreciate it." Lori called out and Carol waved her hand at the other woman._

_"No trouble." Carol walked around the side of the car and opened the passenger door; only to have Ed slam it shut, narrowly missing her hand in the process. _

_"What in the hell did you tell her that for? We don't even know these damn people."_

_"The boy is hungry. We can spare one box." Carol wrapped her arms around her middle and dropped her head slightly as she spoke to her husband._

_"It's called operational security. How long you think this stuff is gonna last if you keeping running your damn mouth off to everybody we meet?"_

_"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." Carol sidestepped out of Ed's reach instinctively; so many other times when she had made a miscalculation he had lashed out with his hand rather than with his words. Lori stepped quickly back to the other side of the car, not wanting the quiet woman to know that she had overheard her husband's callous remarks. She stepped over to speak to Shane, sitting in the patrol car; giving Carol time to compose herself._

_"You getting anything?" Lori said through the open window._

_"Nah, there's nothing."_

_"Big surprise there." Lori remarked drily, Shane shook his head slowly running a hand through his thick wavy hair._

_"No, I mean there's nothing. Emergency broadcast systems stopped, and that recording about he Refugee Centre. It's all gone." Shane stepped out of the patrol car, slamming the door shut behind him. "I'm gonna walk up the road apiece see if I can see what's going on."_

_"I'll come with you." Lori stopped by Carol's car to check on Carl. Carol held out a couple of packages of snack crackers. Other than looking a little paler, the other woman seemed no worse for wear after being verbally smacked down by her husband. _

_"Guess Ed must've forgotten to pack those MREs after all. I found these in my purse."_

_"It's all right." Lori smiled gently at Carol, wanting her to know that she appreciated the gesture. "Listen, do you mind keeping an eye on Carl for a minute?"_

_"No." Carol smiled over at the young boy, sitting so patiently next to her daughter. Sophia had been whining incessantly until Carol had thought that Ed would burst a blood vessel. She could see his jaw clenching and knew that it was only a matter of time before he vented his anger and frustration. She had never been so happy to see someone in her life when Lori had tapped her knuckles on the window and asked if Sophia would like to play chequers with Carl – that had been almost three hours ago._

_"Shane and I are gonna go scout up ahead a little bit," Lori brushed a lock of hair away from where it had fallen over Carl's brow. "And see if we can find someone who knows what's going on."_

_"I want to come too." Carl pleaded. Lori pulled him into her and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, shaking her head in refusal. Shane came up beside her and offered his own reassurance._

_"Hey, we'll be back before you know it. Okay, little man?"_

_"Why would they stop broadcasting the refugee centre?" Lori asked anxiously as they moved among the parked vehicles, heading further along the interstate._

_"I don't know." Shane replied, rubbing his knuckles; the only outward sign of anxiety he allowed himself to show. _

_"You think they're turning people away?"_

_"They're gonna have a riot on their hands, if they try."_

_"Your Dad's nice." Sophia said to Carl as they started another game on the tailgate. Carl looked up in surprise._

_"Shane's not my dad. My Dad's dead." They flinched as an explosion in the distance startled them; Carol moved instinctively closer to both children, reaching out to offer draw them in closer to her body. _

_"What do we do? What do we do?" Lori chanted under her breath as the explosions became closer and louder; she and Shane had found themselves in the middle of a panicked crowd. He moved closer to her side and grabbed her arm to hurry her along._

_"We're gonna do what Rick would have wanted us to do, get you and Carl out of here." Shane paused as another pair of helicopters swooped in low overhead, and watched as it flew high over the city of Atlanta. _

_"That's not lightning." Lori stated as they watched the sky light up over the hills. Shane had his suspicions and pulled Lori along with him, walking a little faster._

_"You stay with me now. Come on." They started to run along the interstate until Shane pulled Lori into a small clearing topping a rise. From there they could see clearly what was occurring in the city below._

_"Oh my God!" Lori breathed in horror._

_"They're dropping napalm in the streets." Shane scraped his fingers through his hair, staring down at the explosions below. _

_"Shane…." Lori whispered, terrified beyond belief and not knowing what on earth they would do next._

_"__Come here…" Shane pulled Lori into his arms, where she collapsed sobbing against his chest. He held her tightly as he watched the city burn. I'm sorry, Rick. He silently apologised to his friend whom he had left barricaded in a hospital room on the outskirts of the city. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to get you out. I'm sorry that I told Lori you were dead, but it was the only way I could get her to leave. I knew that you would want me to keep her safe. Believe me, man; I didn't think it would be so hard – we thought there would be enough time to get to the centres but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry, so sorry. _


	26. Chapter 26

Lori woke in her and Rick's tent, heart pounding and swearing that she could still smell the acrid smoke rising up from the burning city. She sat up on the cot and rubbed her eyes, trying to shake the last vestiges of the dream from her eyes. She looked at empty spot next to her on the cot and thought about whether she remembered even seeing Rick there at all; running her hand over the empty space and finding it cold she guessed that he had remained in with Carl the whole night.

Stretching and yawning, Lori pulled open the door of the tent and stumbled outside to pull on her boots.

"Morning." Dale smiled over as he walked through the camp on his way to fetch fresh water.

"Good morning." She replied back and walked over to where Carol had already finished the laundry and was hanging over the line strung between two large oak trees. "I can't believe I slept in." Lori muttered as she reached the picnic table and started sorting through the damp clothes.

"You must have needed it." Carol remarked, "Feeling all right?" Lori chose not to reply, simply carried on picking through the laundry. She finally stated; "Took me a while to get off and then I had a dream – we were back on the interstate; you, me, Shane, Sophia…" Her voice trailed off and then hardened back up. "Next time, wake me, all right? Especially on laundry day."

"I had one of those myself last night…only this time the helicopters were dropping the napalm over the interstate…" Lori looked up in concern and Carol shivered in recollection. "Never mind, it was just a bad dream. As for the laundry, I can manage." Carol waved away the offer of help and looked up from the laundry. "I had an idea I wanted to run by you."

"What's that?" Lori shook out a t-shirt of Carl's, and marvelled over how Carol could manage to get the grass and dirt stains out without the aid of a mechanical washer.

"That big kitchen of theirs got me thinking. I wouldn't mind cooking in a real kitchen again. Maybe we all pitch in and cook dinner for Hershel and his family tonight. Kind of looking for things to keep my mind occupied. Merle's offered to go hunting for the meat, said he probably wouldn't be as good at Daryl but would combine it with whatever search grid Rick assigns him to. " Carol dropped a handful of clothes pins into the empty tub and slumped down onto the picnic bench, looking up at Lori.

"After everything they've done for us, seems like the least we could do."

"You mind extending the invitation?" Carol enquired hopefully. "Would feel more right coming from you."

"How so?"

"You're Rick's wife. It sort of makes you our unofficial First Lady."

"Morning guys. Let's get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover." Rick's call as he strode through the camp had them both turning at the sound of his voice. They watched as Rick spread the survey maps over the hood of the Cherokee and everyone apart from Lori and Carol gathered around.

"All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. We know that she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far."

"I'd like to help." Beth's young boyfriend Jimmy approached the group and made his offer. Daryl paused in the process of pulling a tattered brown plaid shirt on over his skinny vest. "I know the area pretty well and stuff." Rick exchanged glances with Daryl who jerked his head in the direction of the house.

"Hershel okay with this?" Daryl asked bluntly, Jimmy stuttered out a response.

"Yeah, yeah. He said I should ask you…I mean, Rick."

"All right then, thanks." Rick nodded and then looked up as Daryl leant over the map.

"I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot her."

"Good idea," T-Dog drawled. "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there, too."

"Chupawhatsa?"

"Chupacabra." Dale confirmed, placing the sheriff bag of guns on the hood and glancing over at Rick. "What you never heard that? Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra." Jimmy scoffed at the idea, only to have Daryl turn on him.

"What are you braying at, jackass?"

"So you believe in a blood-sucking dog?"

"Do you believe dead people walking around?" Daryl retorted, enough said. Jimmy leant across the hood to select a rifle, Rick stopped him before he could lift it.

"Hey, hey. You ever fire one before?"

"Well if I'm going out I want one." Jimmy stated, and Shane thought he sounded an awful lot like Andrea in that respect.

"Yeah, and people in hell want Slurpees." Daryl remarked, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder and receiving a high five from Merle at the quick comeback. Merle had arrived back in camp just in time to join them for dinner the previous evening, having decided not to take the risk of camping out on his own.

"Why don't you come train tomorrow?" Shane called over as Jimmy turned his back on the group, having decided that he was not going to risk going out without a weapon. "If you're serious, I'm a certified instructor."

"For now he can come with us." Andrea offered, and Shane touched the peak of his ball cap.

"He's yours to babysit then." Andrea waved a hand in Shane's direction accepting the responsibility.

"All right, Andrea, T-Dog, I want you guys…" Rick bent over the maps and everyone gathered closer to see where their teams had been assigned.

Rick and Shane were out in the woods, Shane pinning scraps of red fabric to the trees; marking off their grid as they searched it. Shane was remarkably quiet and Rick was having a tough time trying to engage him in conversation.

"Okay, I know you Shane. The only I'm gonna get you engaged in social conversation is to ask you about the girls you did in high school. I don't want to, but I'm willing to do it, if that's what it takes."

"I was an artist in his prime, a protégé."

"You mean prodigy." Rick corrected, and Shane looked over winking.

"Maybe. Is prodigy what you call a young high school stud bangs 30-year-olds on the regular?"

"What 30-year-old were you banging in high school?" Rick scoffed as he walked through the trees, only half paying attention to Shane's stories; for that's what most of his tales were…stories.

"The PE teacher." Shane admitted, pulling off his cap and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Rick looked back and laughed.

"Mr. Daniel?"

"Girls volleyball coach. Mrs Kelly."

"You know what I just remembered? Why I don't ask you about this stuff."

"Shouldn't be talking about this stuff." Shane remarked seriously. "That life, it's gone and everyone in it. Sheila. Maryanne. Mrs Kelly. It's like we're old folk and the people in our stories are all dead." Shane moved ahead of Rick to take point, wanting the conversation to be over and done with.

"We can't just forget them." Rick stated quietly.

"The hell we can't. It's hard enough accepting what's happened without digging up the past. I'll tell you what it is. It's nostalgia. It's like a drug. Keeps you from seeing things the way they are and that's a danger. You got people depending on you."

"You think I don't know that?" Rick stopped walking and Shane stopped as well, turning around to face his friend.

"I don't know." Shane shrugged his shoulders and took a long look around the wooded area. "What are we doing? You got every able body at your disposal out scouring these woods for a little girl we both know is likely dead."

"You think we should abandon the search?" Rick wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his hand and stared hard at Shane.

"It's not my call is it?" Shane shrugged again and prepared to continue in their grid search only to have Rick place a hand on his arm, preventing him from leaving.

"I'm asking." He said and then repeated it when Shane shook off his hand and headed forward. "I'm asking."

"Survival, Rick. It means making hard decisions. But you've got this knack, man. You spread us thinner and thinner. I'm trying to save lives here and you're out saving cats from trees."

"Is that what you think Sophia is, a cat in a tree?" Rick picked up his pace in an effort to keep up with Shane, who was striding furiously through the trees. Shane came to a halt at Rick's question and turned around preparing to face him off.

"Don't do that, man. Don't twist my words. How many times we get called up to look for a missing child, man? You got 72 hours. **Seventy-two hours**," He repeated firmly. "And after that you're looking for a body. And that was before. I mean, you honestly think we're just gonna find Sophia alive?"

"Are you that sure we won't?"

"We being completely honest?"

"Oh, I'm counting on you to be."

"It's math, man." Shane sighed heavily, "Love or not, Sophia, she only matters to the degree in which she don't drag the rest of us down." Rick's hiss of indrawn breath and look of revulsion had Shane shaking his head regretfully. "I thought you wanted honest." Shane strode off a few paces and then whirled around, spitting out his words venomously. "If we'd have just moved on, man! We'd be half way to Fort Benning right now and Carl wouldn't have gotten shot. And you said so yourself. But we're out here, we're risking lives. Your own son almost died, man. Otis, he paid that bill. What the hell are we still doing this for?" Rick couldn't stand to hear another angry word spilling from Shane's lips and stepped forward wanting the other man to know the agony and the weight of the guilt that burdened him down.

"I had her in my hand, Shane." Rick cried out. "She looked in my eyes and **trusted **me!" Rick stepped closer to Shane almost pleading for understanding. "I failed her. If I hadn't, she wouldn't be out here. I think she's still alive and I'm not gonna write her off." Shane pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing as he looked over at Rick. Something fluttering in the soft breeze had them both looking over at a small piece of cloth tacked to a nearby tree.

"It's blue." Shane stated. "It's Andrea and T-Dog."

"Looks like we wandered into their grid." Rick mused and Shane just huffed and stalked off.


	27. Chapter 27

Daryl's arrow flew swiftly through the air, pinning the squirrel to the tree in the midst of its climb. He leant sideways over the horse and plucked the arrow out of the dead animal, stuffing the squirrel into the pouch attached to the saddle. He rode on for a short while until he reached a ridge overlooking the creek. He'd travelled in the opposite direction that Merle had taken yesterday; choosing instead to head away from the abandoned farmhouse. Something bobbing on the surface caught his eye and Daryl drew the horse to a halt, tying the halter to a nearby tree. He slid off the horse's back and slung his crossbow over his back; staring through a gap in the bushes trying to get a closer look.

Daryl's eyes narrowed as he recognised the small rag doll that Eliza Morales had given to Sophia as a parting gift that last morning in the quarry. He remembered Sophia hugging it close to her chest and crying over the announcement that the Morales family had decided to travel onto Birmingham instead of joining them in their journey to the CDC. He carefully started to make his way down the steep bank, slippery underfoot with fallen leaves and slime from the trees. He made his way through the shallows and leant down to pick up the small doll.

"SOPHIA!" He yelled, holding the doll tightly in his hand. "SOPHIA!" Tucking the doll down into his belt, Daryl made his way back up the bank, thinking it would be easier to spot her trail along the creek from above. He mounted the horse and gently urged it along at a slow pace as his eyes continued to scan below. They had just reached a cliffy area overlooking the creek when something spooked the horse, making it neigh in distress.

"Steady, girl." He patted the horse's neck as she startled at the loud cawing rising up from some birds that were disturbed and the horse whinnied in response. Daryl was scanning the ground below the ridge and not the area directly below him, otherwise he would have seen the rattlesnake before it drew back to strike.

"Whoa! Steady horse! Whoa!" Daryl struggled to control the wildly spooked horse as it reared up. Daryl pulled back on the reins and it was simply too much for the nervous horse to handle, it reared up again and Daryl felt himself sliding backwards off the horse and tumbling headfirst down the stony cliffs overlooking the creek.

"Son of a bitch!" Daryl landed on his back in the shallows of the creek, blood coating his forehead and cursing a blue streak. He felt a sharp pain in his left side and looked down to see one of his arrows from his crossbow had come loose in the fall and he had landed directly on top of it. Blood poured from the wound, swirling red in the murky waters of the creek. His head fell back and the world went dark…

He awoke a few hours later, wondering briefly why he'd decided to swimming in his clothes. It only took a few moments for the pain burning in his side to clear that thought out of his head.

"Shit!" He muttered as he felt around his side for an exit wound, hoping that he could simply push the arrow through. No exit wound. "No fuckin' Rambo manoeuvre for you, Daryl." He'd remembered seeing that in an old Rambo movie where the hero had cut open a slit to force the arrow head through. His stomach churned at the thought, bile rising to coat the back of his throat.

Daryl forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to the muddy shore, he fell onto a log and with his knife, cut the sleeves out of his plaid shirt in order to tear them into strips to wrap around his waist; holding the impaled arrow firmly in place to prevent it jostling about too much. Just that simple act made him lightheaded and he wondered briefly at how much blood a body could stand to lose. By the looks of things, he'd already been drained of a couple of pints and the simple act of standing and then attempting to walk was making the wound bleed freely again. He tightened the binding as much as he could bear and looked up at the high, rock strewn banks which were standing between him and safety. He found a long thin branch that he could use as a prop and stared at the bank.

"Fuck it…" he realised that he'd lost his crossbow in the fall and made his way slowly over to the shallow water, using the prop to locate the weapon. Leaning heavily on the upright crossbow with one hand and the stick in the other Daryl faced the unwieldy cliff face and prepared to climb up.

"Mind your own business, Glenn." Lori warned softly as she walked through camp with a pail of water. The expression on Glenn's face told her that he was about to start opening his mouth to ask questions she just wasn't ready to answer.

"You're pregnant." He whispered and Lori looked around to make sure they were completely alone. "You can't tell anybody, okay?" Lori placed her hands together and pleaded with Glenn to keep her secret. A glance behind her had Glenn raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"You haven't told him yet?" Lori said nothing, just turned her attention to the pail of water. Glenn sighed and wandered off as Shane stalked straight passed them without saying a single word.

"Something wrong?" She asked Rick as he drew near, they both leant against the hood of Carol's Cherokee.

"I just had a long talk with Shane." Rick stated quietly and Lori's heart lept in her throat; was he going to announce that it was all over between them? That he couldn't forgive her for sleeping with his best friend. "He wants to call off the search."

"What do you think?" _Thank God! He doesn't know, he can't know otherwise he wouldn't look at me the way he does…_

"What if it was Carl? Would you want us to keep looking?" Rick glanced over at his wife wanting to know how she would feel if it were their son the group was out searching for.

"If it were Carl, yes I'd want to know one way or another." Lori nodded in agreement.

"Shane says my good intentions are making us weaker, that I can't make the hard decisions for the good of the group."

Lori shook her head as she looked over at her husband. "They're all hard decisions."

"But maybe I'm holding onto a way of thinking that doesn't make sense any more. He says it's math; basic survival, how much fuel, how much food, how much ammo. Not much room in that equation for being soft. It's pretty simple when you start thinking of life like that."

Lori reached over to press her hands to Rick's cheek's forcing him to meet her gaze. "Hey. None of us were prepared to be living life this way. You are making the best decisions you can with the information you have. I don't see soft in that."

"Mr. Grimes? My dad wants to talk to you." Their conversation was interrupted by the soft voice of Beth, Hershel's younger daughter. Lori dropped her hands and Rick took a step back. Lori ran a gentle hand along Rick's arm as he walked away with the teenage girl.


	28. Chapter 28

Daryl looked down at the distance he had half climbed and half crawled and estimated it had taken more than two hours to reach the halfway point. The going was tough, the banks were soft and crumbling making it difficult to get a decent foothold. He pushed the stick he was using as support into the soft soil and felt it slip from his grip to go tumbling down to land softly in the creek bed with a splash. He was exhausted from the strain, and weakened from the blood loss.

"Oh, come on. You've done half. Stop being such a pussy. Come on." He grunted as the effort of pulling himself up by inches made his wound burn in his side. He stretched out an arm to grab hold of a thin sapling, realising too late that his weight was too much for the young plant to bear. He tumbled over and over, reaching the creek with a jarring thud.

Rick found Hershel in the generator shed topping up the fuel tanks. Hershel looked up at his entry and that plain and simple was the best approach.

"One of my horses is missing." He stated directly. "Did one of your people take it?"

"I was given the impression you knew about that." Rick drawled slowly, refusing to get drawn into an argument.

"I did not."

"I'll have a word with Daryl." Rick looked up, nodding slowly.

"And Jimmy? You took him out today. Did he also give you the impression of my consent?"

"No, he said it outright." Rick stated and stepped closer to Hershel. "I took the boy at his word."

"Jimmy is 17. He's not my kin, but I am responsible for him. These things need to be cleared with me." Hershel looked over to see whether Rick was listening properly.

"Sounds like we need to work on our communication." Rick stated bluntly, holding his hands to his hips. "What do you suggest?"

"Keep it simple. I'll control my people, you control yours." Rick agrees without saying a word.

_  
Daryl came to after his second fall to the sound of footsteps approaching. His eyes flickered open to the sound of his father's voice berating him, as usual.

"Why don't you pull that arrow out, dumbass? You could bind your wound better."

"Pa."

"What's going on here? You takin' a siesta or somethin'?"

"Shitty day, Pa." Daryl fought to keep his eyes open, blood trickling over his forehead where he had reopened the gash from earlier.

"Like me to get you a pillow? Maybe rub your feet?" His Pa said sarcastically.

"Screw you." Daryl muttered, closing his eyes against the rising nausea – something was definitely busted inside this time; one or two ribs and probably a concussion to boot.

"You're the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get?"

"Ya didn't do anythin' fer me, ya sorry son of a bitch! It was Merle that practically raised me while you went from bender to bender…" Daryl cursed at the spectre of his dead father, wondering why he was wasting his precious energy arguing with a man dead and buried these past twenty years. "You're going to die out here, son - and for what?" Apparently his Pa didn't care that he wasn't supposed to be there, he just kept on with the nagging. _ Fuck it_, Daryl thought, _perhaps if I just keep up my end of the conversation he'll fuck off back to Hell._

"A girl." He said aloud. "They lost a little girl." His eyes started to roll back in his head and he was brought around by a gentle touch on his cheek. His eyelids fluttered and his vision swam.

"'Phia…" He whispered and groaned as he tried and failed to sit up.

"Mr. Daryl…why didn't you come find me? I was waiting for you, Mr. Daryl."

"Sophia…I tried…" Daryl reached up a hand to try and touch the little girl but she stepped out of reach, shaking her head sadly.

"I was all alone and so scared. I cried for my Mama. I cried for Mr. Merle and I hoped and prayed that someone would come and find me…nobody ever came…until **they** did."

"Who, sweet pea? Who found you?" Daryl struggled to wipe the blood out of his eyes so that he could see the girl clearer. What he saw had him falling back into the mud in horror. Sophia's neck and shoulder had been bitten straight down to the bone, huge chunks of flesh missing and other pieces hanging down flapping against her ragged and dirty shirt. She crept forward, making him retch as her oozing wounds dripped over his body. He saw her eyes then, those once beautiful eyes so much like her mothers' now pale and milky as they stared sightlessly over his shoulder at something that he couldn't see.

"They came, and they'll be coming for you too…" She vanished in a haze and Daryl realised that she was just another freaky hallucination brought on by the combination of pain and blood loss. Another attempt at rising to his feet had him passing out for a moment and then there was the soft fragrance of roses and lemons in the air…

"Daryl, you need to get up. Please try, for me." Daryl forced his eyes to open and he saw Carol sitting on a log on the shoreline.

"Hey, babe. Whatcha doin' over there? Ain't ya supposed to be cookin' up a feast in Hershel's kitchen?" Daryl tried a smile and then grimaced as Carol seemed to fade in front of his eyes. "Please don't disappear like Sophia did."

"Sophia's gone, Daryl. You didn't find her in time and the Walkers got to her first."

"No! I just need more time! I'll find her I swear!" Daryl reached out a hand in an effort to make Carol stay with him; he didn't care whether she was real or just an illusion.

"I can't stay, Pookie. Sophia needs me to join her. I'm just a burden in the camp now that you're gone. Why didn't you come back to me, Daryl? I needed you to be there for me, I couldn't make it without you." Tears shimmered behind those beautiful eyes and the ghostly figure held out her arms showing the long rips in the delicate skin; skin that had started to drip with blood.

"No! CAROL, no!" Daryl screamed as he forced himself to roll over. He raised himself to his knees and crawled over to the edge of the shore.

"I have to go now." She said, staring into the distance and reaching out a hand to something he couldn't quite see.

"No! Baby, please don't go…I need you…" Daryl cried out in despair and reached a hand out to try and touch her.

"I'll be waiting for you, Pookie. It's not too late for you to save us. Now, are you ready Daryl?"

"Ready for what?"

"Are you ready to wake up? Please Daryl you have to wake up now. WAKE UP!" She screamed and pointed at something crawling through the water.

Daryl's eyes shot open, certain that he would see the zombified Sophia and the ghostly image of his Pa and Carol. Instead all he saw was a drooling Walker attempting to chew through his boot to get to his skin. Daryl kicked the Walker away and unable to reach his crossbow, resorted to stabbing it in the eye with a sharp piece of wood. As another Walker approached Daryl decided to follow his 'Pa's' advice and pulled the arrow from his side, groaning at the effort. With difficulty he strained to load the bloody arrow onto his cross bow and with a last gasp effort cocked the crossbow and shot the Walker clean through the head.

Daryl stripped off the body off his shirt and used it to make a pressure pad, tying it tightly in place against his side.

"Son of a bitch was right." He laughed humourlessly to himself as he thought of his dream Pa's advice. It was a lot easier to move about without the arrow sticking out of his body. He caught another squirrel and ate it raw; needing the protein and sustenance to give him much needed energy for the long trek back. This time he was determined not to fail. Tucking Sophia's rag doll firmly into his belt, he began the long, slow climb up the ridge.


	29. Chapter 29

Hershel walked through his living room and was drawn to the sound of women's chatter coming from, if he wasn't mistaken, the kitchen. He paused in the doorway to watch Lori and Carol putter around in his kitchen like they had a right to be there. They stopped every now and then to throw the odd comment over at Patricia who was lending them a hand finding everything they needed.

"It's nice to be cooking in a real kitchen again."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I never thought I'd be so happy see a potato peeler."

"I'm just glad we're not roasting squirrels over a fire in the woods."

"Thank you, Patricia, so much for letting us into your house."

"What's this?" Hershel turned away from the kitchen door to see Maggie spreading tablecloths over not only the large dining table but a number of smaller ones as well.

"Lori and Carol are cooking dinner for us all tonight. Merle came back with a couple of Geese that must have got loose from old Mr. Stevens place."

"That's the first I've heard of it." Hershel threw out his arms in disbelief, had Rick heard nothing of their conversations over the last couple of days. He'd offered them shelter on his farm and medical attention for the boy; but apart from that clear boundaries had been drawn. Boundaries that had now been overstepped by a mile.

"I didn't think it was that big a deal." Maggie replied, having already told the ladies that her father would be only too happy for them to cook up a feast. "They want to thank us for helping them."

"We need to be setting clear boundaries with these people," Hershel told her. "They're getting a little too comfortable." Despite his protestations, he bent down to lend her a hand smoothing out the table cloth and pulling out the extra leaf on the table.

"It's just dinner."

"What's going on with you and the Asian boy?"

"Glenn." Maggie confirmed his name for her father and added. "He's a friend."

"I'd rather he wasn't. Bad enough I have to chase Beth and Jimmy around."

"Well, you don't have to chase me around. I'm not 16."

"I know you're not. That's why I'm counting on you to be the mature one. You know how I feel. Please don't make things harder than they need to be."

"I'm a little old for us to be having this conversation." Maggie refused to stand there and listen to her father treating her like she was still his little girl. She turned to leave the room only for his final remark to leave her standing in shock.

"Don't get close to them. They're not going to be around forever." Unhappy, Maggie leaves the room.

"What's with the Annie Oakley routine?" Dale called up to where Andrea was standing on the roof of his RV, straw hat perched on her head and rifle propped on her hip.

"I don't want to wash clothes any more, Dale. I want to help keep the camp safe. Is that all right with you?" Andrea regretted her harsh words at the expression of hurt on his face. He said nothing and walked into the RV.

"Walker! Walker!" Andrea lept out of the lawn chair and yelled at the people below. She'd spotted a stumbling figure emerge from the tree line a few hundred yards away.

"Just the one?" Rick called up and Andrea picked up the binoculars to scan the horizon.

"Think so, hard to tell with the sun reflecting on the lens. I bet I can nail it from here." Anxious to test her new found skills, Andrea reached for the rifle at her feet.

"No, no. Andrea, put the gun down." Rick ordered, the Walker was too far away to tell whether it was alone or leading a herd, and Rick had no wish to bring a bloody battle into Hershel's front yard.

"You'd best let us handle this." Shane called up as he and T-Dog came striding through the came with a hammer and metal baseball bat.

"Shane, hold up." Rick stated. "Hershel wants to deal with Walkers."

"What for, man. We got it covered."

"Damn." Rick cursed as he raced for the RV to retrieve his pistol. He, Shane, Glenn and T-Dog started to race across the field as Andrea ignored Rick's advice and slowly raised the rifle scope to her eye. She cocked the hammer, and took aim; squinting as the sun gleamed off the scope.

"Andrea, don't!" Dale called up and Andrea snarled and told him to back off.

"Is that Daryl?" Glenn asked as the four men came across the 'Walker' which was actually the badly wounded Daryl struggling across the field.

"That's the third time you pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?" Rick lowered his gun and smiled over at the other man, thankful that he had returned safely back to them. Just then a shot ran out, fired from the over excited Andrea and dropping Daryl like a stone.

"No!" Shane shouted across the field, making the smile fade from Andrea's face. "No! No!"

"Rick!" Lori screamed out as everyone ran outside at the sound of the gunshot.

"What on Earth's going on out there?" Hershel shouted over at Dale for an explanation, hadn't he made it clear enough that guns were not to be worn on his property?

Rick and Shane bent over the fallen Daryl and saw that the bullet had caused a deep furrow alone his temple. "I was kidding, man." Daryl looked blurrily up at Rick as he helped him to get up on his feet and then he slumped into a dead faint.

"Oh my God! Is he dead?" Andrea raced over the field and saw Daryl being supported by Shane and Rick.

"Unconscious, you just grazed him."

"My God, what happened to him?" Glenn looked over at the blood stained shirt and makeshift padding around his side.

"Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" T-Dog knelt down to pick up the doll that had worked loose from Daryl's belt and held it up for inspection. No one was able to speak for a moment, not knowing until Daryl came around whether the doll was all he found.

"I found it washed up on the creek bed right there. She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere." Daryl was lying on his side in yet another one of Hershel's bedrooms. Hershel was stitching the wound closed at his side and Daryl pressed a pad to the bleeding furrow on his temple. His body was one large mass of bruising, Hershel had confirmed at least two ribs were cracked if not broken, but was unable to confirm anything else until the grime from the creek was wiped away from his body.

"Cuts the grid almost in half." Rick remarked from his bedside and turned to glance at Shane who was propped on the window ledge. Merle was pacing at the foot of the bed, keeping his gaze averted from the sight of the needle sliding in and out of his brother's flesh.

"Yeah, you're welcome." Daryl muttered sarcastically from the bed and Rick turned back to question Hershel.

"So, how's he looking?"  
"I had no idea we'd be going through the antibiotics so quickly. Any idea what happened to my horse?"

"Yeah, the one that almost killed me? It it's smart, it left the country."  
"We call that one Nellie," Hershel responded as he crossed over to wash his hands in the enamel basin. "As in nervous Nellie. I could have told you she'd throw you, if you'd bothered to ask." He turned to face Rick. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."

Rick stepped outside the bedroom and saw Lori sitting on the floor propped up against the wall. He helped her to her feet and greeted her with a kiss to the cheek. "He'll be alright." Shane stepped out behind Rick and paused by the door.

"I hate to say it, but I'm with Hershel on this one. Can't keep going out there, not after this."  
"You'd quit now?" Rick asked incredulously, "Daryl just risked his life to bring back the first hard evidence we've had."

"That's one way to look at it." Shane ran the brim of his baseball hat through hands, before looking up slowly to face Rick. "The way I see it, Daryl almost died today for a doll."

"Yeah, I know how you see it." Rick muttered contemptuously, and strode off down the corridor. Shane watched him go and then tried to explain himself to Lori. "I'm not out to be a hard case, just realistic. He's just got to start making the tough calls." Shane walked down the small strip of hallway separating the two sick rooms and drew alongside Lori who said nothing. "You know I'm right." He murmured as passed her standing outside of Carl's door.

"I may not agree with all of his choices, but I respect him. I know yours and mine and your way isn't harder. It's the easiest thing in the world to cut our losses and to not help. You keep telling yourself you're making the tough calls. You're really just trying to justify…"

"All I care about now in this world is you and Carl." Shane interrupted and Lori looked down the hallway to make sure their low conversation was in no danger of being overheard. "So I apologise if I appear to be insensitive to the needs of others," he continued. "But, you see, I'll do whatever it takes to keep the two of you safe." Lori stepped forward to place a hand on his chest, staring deeply into his eyes.

"Even abandoning a lost child?" As Shane nodded slowly, she took a step back. "Really?"

"Yeah." Lori dropped her gaze and took a step sideways to walk around him, not wanting to believe that he could be that callous.

"My son and I are not your problem anymore, or your excuse." Lori left Shane staring after her retreating back as she stepped into Carl's room and quietly but firmly closed the door behind her. He slapped his cap against his thigh and turned to go, almost running Maggie down in the process.

"Sorry." He muttered as he dodged out of the way of the water splashing over the rim of the bowl.

"No problem. Hey, you okay?" Maggie said, brow wrinkling in concern. Shane kept his head down and continued on down the staircase. "Okey dokey, that'll be a yes then." Shaking her head ruefully she continued on to take the bowl into Daryl's bedroom where Hershel was still trying to assess the full extent of his injuries.


	30. Chapter 30

When Daryl saw Maggie enter the room carrying a bowl of steaming water, he immediately attempted to roll onto his side; pulling the covers almost up to his chest; and expelling a loud hiss between clenched teeth. Hershel murmured his thanks and asked her set the bowl on the bedside table. Merle stopped pacing and leant over the end of the bed rail, clenching it so tightly that his knuckles turned white and tried to lighten the atmosphere. "Hey, Daryl if I thought getting shot would get me a sponge bath from a cute farmer's daughter, I'd a stepped in front of that bullet!" Maggie turned her back on her father and shot Merle a look of distaste as she stepped over to the door.

"I'm afraid carrying the bowl is about as far as my nursing skills go. You need anything else, Daddy?"

"No, I think we're all set. Thank you sweetheart." Hershel dropped a kiss on his daughter's forehead and gently nudged her out of the room. He turned to the water and added a little antibacterial solution to the bowl. He tested the water temperature on the tip of his finger; satisfied he dipped the sponge into the bowl and squeezed out the excess.

He must have noticed the panic rising in Daryl's eyes as he kept his voice calm and soothing as he explained what he was about to do. "Daryl, you're filthy and all that dirt is gonna be a breeding ground for all sort of germs. I wiped away what I could from your wound so that I could stitch it closed but I need to clear away the rest so that I can make sure you aren't injured anywhere else. I need to get those ribs of yours taped up too, and that means that you need to be clean and dry beforehand." Hershel leant over with the sponge, but in doing so blocked out the light so that all Daryl saw was a large figure looming over him. His breath started to speed up and he felt panic clawing its way into the back of his throat. Merle saw the stark terror in his brother's face and stepped around the bed to place a hand on Hershel's arm before contact with Daryl's skin could be made.

"Sorry, Doc but it ain't gonna happen."

"Merle, those scrapes need to be cleaned and disinfected! God knows what's gotten in there from the creek; we've got no way of knowing diseases that water could be carrying. Now stand back and let me get on with this!" Hershel tried to shake off Merle's hand and turn back towards his patient who had passed out cold on the bed.

"Hershel, he's gonna hate me tellin' ya this; but he cain't take a man touching him."

"He was abused?" Hershel asked quietly and nodded when Merle said nothing in response. "No need to answer son, I can tell by the look in your eyes. Your Pa beat him? He's got that look about him and I've seen the scars."

"Yeah…never knew how bad it got when I was in and out of Juvie; till I got back one day and found the bastard had nearly tore the skin clean off Daryl's back for simply forgetting to put the peanut butter after making a sandwich…he was only ten years old at the time." Merle squeezed his eyes shut at the memory, battling for composure. He opened cold, calm eyes and looked at the older man straight on. "I nearly ripped the old man's arm off; I just saw red. Daryl was curled up in the corner, completely out of it; stayed in hospital nearly a whole month. Sorry, Hershel but you kinda have the same build as our Pa…that and combined with the blood…"

"Yes, I can see that I may have triggered the past trauma and for that I apologise. Would Daryl let you clean him off do you think?"

"Naw…I'd most likely just remind him of when I tried to clean him off before carrying him all the way to the county clinic. I was barely sixteen myself and didn't have a license."

"I'll go and change this water, keep an eye on him for me and call me if…well, just keep an eye on him for a while." Hershel rose stiffly from the hard chair and picked up the bowl and sponge. "I'll leave the fresh bowl just outside of the door, I won't come in again until he is back to himself; I don't want to cause him any unnecessary pain."

"Thanks, Hershel. I've got an idea who may be able to help, I just want to keep an eye on him for a little while, till I can be sure how he's gonna react." Merle smiled faintly at the other man, all of his attention on his troubled comrade.

"I've been there myself, son and to be lost in something as hurtful as that is a very dark place to be." Hershel nodded a goodbye and slipped out of the room, it was only then that Merle recalled something that Rick had said about the old man's had beaten him so often that he was forced away from his home at just sixteen years old.

Merle watched his brother for a little while, resting uneasily on the bed and twisting the bedsheets around his lanky frame. He sighed heavily and stepped out of the room to tap softly on Carl's door.

"Shane, I told you…" Lori started to speak as she opened the door and then stopped when she saw who was standing there. "Merle… Is it Daryl? What do you need?"

"Sorry to be disturbing your time with your boy, but I was wonderin' whether you could do me a small favour and ask Carol to come up here?"

"Carol? Merle do you really think that's such a good idea? I mean, she doesn't even know about the doll yet…" Rick had warned everyone not to mention the doll, not wanting to raise Carol's hopes up too high.

"Lori, she's the only person he's let get close to him his whole life. Hershel completely freaked him out and he needs cleaning up. He's passed out at the moment, and Hershel's worried that there may be more injuries underneath all the crap from the creek."

"Okay, I'll go and see if she's willing. I'm not promising anything though, Merle." Lori stepped out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Thanks, Lori. Tell her to just give a tap on the door when she comes up. I don't want her to spook him if he's still out cold." Merle nodded his appreciation and stepped back into his brother's room, and Lori heard the lock fall into place behind him.

Carol nervously tapped on the door and waited for it to open, she smiled faintly at Lori hovering behind her. Merle peered his head around the frame and when he saw that it was Carol, opened it fully letting her enter.

"Oh, no Merle." Lori pushed the door back as Merle tried to close it behind the other woman. "If you think that I'm leaving her alone in here with just the two of you, you're very much mistaken. Now, back off!"

"Hush, woman. Christ, it ain't as if he's in any fit state to do anything anyway! Take a look, if you don't believe me…" Merle huffed in annoyance at the idea of either of them having any nefarious schemes regarding Carol and felt vindicated when Lori's breath hitched in the throat when she saw Daryl's battered body lying on the bed.

"Is it bad, Merle?" Carol whispered softly, quietly approaching the end of the bed; not wanting to disturb the sleeping man.

"No need to whisper, honey. He ain't sleepin', he's passed out cold. Got a little spooked when Hershel tried to give him a sponge bath."

"Yeah, Daryl mentioned that he looked a lot like your Daddy – guess it triggered some painful memories for him." Carol looked over at Merle, who stared back in surprise.

"He told ya that? Go on, honey give it a try." Merle nudged Carol toward his unconscious brother and of approaching him from the side, she walked around the bed edging past Lori so that she could crouch near the headboard; facing Daryl head on.

"Daryl, can you hear me?" She whispered softly, placing her hand near one of his dirty and scarred ones where it lay twitching on the mattress.

"Look." Merle nudged Lori's shoulder as he noticed Daryl's head turn a little toward Carol and his hand twitched in response to her voice. "Try again, honey. Keep talkin'." Carol nodded and keeping her voice low and soft, she leant closer to the hunter.

"Daryl, I'm so glad you made it back to us. You must have been in terrible pain and yet you carried on through it all. I'm so proud of you, Pookie."

"Pookie…?" Lori whispered incredulously to Merle, he'd had no idea that there was anything apart from a casual acquaintance between the Dixon's and the Peletier woman; but then she'd been so wrapped up in the situation with Shane and then Carl had been shot. But to hear Merle call her 'honey' and for Carol to be calling Daryl 'Pookie'; what else had she missed?

"He's starting to come around." Merle nudged Lori again, and stepped closer to the end of the bed. "C'mon, 'lil brother- ain't nothing to be afraid of here; 'cept of course that big assed needle that the old man was pokin' ya with." He glanced over at Carol and saw that she was sitting on the edge of the mattress resting one hand near to Daryl's arm. Daryl's hand twitched again and his fingers fluttered and edged a little closer. "Lori, ya wanna go see if Hershel's fetched that other bowl of water?"

"Sure…" Lori walked across to open the bedroom door, he bent to pick up the steaming bowl and carried it back into the room.

"No, don't put it there. Take it over to Carol, we'll see if he's calm enough to let her wash him now." She nodded and placed the bowl carefully on the opposite bedside cabinet.

"Start with his hands, honey. Take it slow, I'll be right outside the door if ya need me." Merle turned to Lori and jerked his head toward the door. "Lori, you steppin' outside with me? Might be easier for him with less people in the room."

"Ah, sure. I'll go and check on Carl. Carol, if you need me, just holler."

"We'll be okay, won't we Pookie?" Carol smiled over at the others and turned her attention back to the man lying so quietly on the bed. She reached over to pick up the sponge and after squeezing out the moisture, picked up one of Daryl's hands to wipe it gently.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" As he didn't draw it away, she dipped the sponge in the bowl again and ran it down the full length of his arm; stopping to rinse and repeat until it was completely clean.

"Oh, Daryl; your hands!" Carol fretted over the long, angry looking scratches over his palms from where he had scrambled through the brambles and scrub trying to make his way back up to the top of the ridge. As she held his hand gently in both of her own, she felt his fingers curling slightly at her touch. She glanced up to see that his eyes had lost that vacant look and the panic had receded from his face leaving it looking calm and almost serene.

Carol dipped the sponge again and slowly wiped it across his forehead, carefully avoiding where the bullet had creased his temple. Rinsing it out, she gently rubbed the dirt from his cheeks and moved down to his scruff covered chin. When he lifted his head so that she could reach his neck easier, Carol knew that the Daryl they all knew and loved was back with her.

"Carol? Whatcha doin'? Shoulda jest said if ya wanted me nekkid…" Daryl grumbled quietly, turning his head to watch her dip the sponge into bowl and place it against the side of his neck. "Mmmm. 'S nice…"

"Well, I prefer my men fully conscious when they're naked, thank you very much." Carol chuckled softly as she continued to wipe the dirt and grime from his neck and down to the top of his shoulders, stopping every now and then to pat him dry with a soft, fluffy towel. She paused, holding the sponge in the air as she asked for his permission before she started to lower the sheet down to reveal his chest. "It's okay, Pookie. I've seen scars before…Even got a few of my own."

"Ain't a pretty sight…" Daryl protested but rolled fully over onto his back letting Carol roll the sheet down to reveal his tight abs.

"They never are." She murmured as she ran the sponge over his shoulders and down to his chest. "Got yourself some new ones to add to your collection today, Hershel did a pretty neat job considering that you aren't a horse or a cow. Nice, neat sewing should heal up nicely." She carefully dabbed around the wound in his side, inspecting it carefully.

"Careful there, Carol. Leanin' across a man like that's liable to give him all sorts of ideas…"

"Yeah…dare you to say that again when you can stand up without falling over." Carol teased lightly, but retreated back to the other side of the bed to gather up the bowl and sponge.

"Come back here a minute, please?" Daryl patted the space next to him invitingly and Carol shook her head regretfully.

"I can't Daryl. Lori dragged me up here while I was preparing dinner. Now that you're all cleaned up, I really ought to get back and help out. After all it was my idea in the first place."

"Aw, and but I ain't **completely** clean…" Daryl waggled his eyebrows up and down, that familiar smirk pulling the corner of his mouth up appealingly.

"You're clean enough…if I went any further we'd have to send Merle out lookin' for a preacher; 'cause that's the kind of thing my Daddy told me only a married woman ought to put up with…"

"Wha…..?" Daryl's mouth gaped open in shock, and then recognised the teasing glint in her eyes.

"Yup, my Daddy told me that only a married woman should have to put up with a man's smelly feet…" Daryl went to throw a pillow at her swiftly retreating figure and then fell back against the mattress groaning as the effort had his stiches pulling and bruised ribs protesting loudly.

"Fuck!" He cursed loud enough to have Merle peering around the edge of the door.

"Everythin' okay, 'lil brother? I see Carol managed to get you all spruced up. Man, you shoulda seen her face as she left here. Somethin' you said, musta got her all stirred up; her face was all red and eyes sparklin' – kinda like yours right now."

"Stop, Merle." Daryl said. "Don't make me come over there and beat yer ass, cause I will ya know."

"Yeah? Like to see ya try." Merle and Daryl chuckled, the younger brother barely even able to sit up in bed, let alone try and slap down his brother. Daryl pressed a hand against his ribs.

"Think I popped a couple stiches…know my ribs fuckin' ache somethin' awful. Killer headache too."

"Yeah, well I think Blondie's lucky shot had a little somethin' to do with that. Want me to get an aspirin or somethin' from the Doc?" Merle knew that the pain had to be bad when Daryl weakly nodded in agreement. "Okay, don't go nowhere, back in a jiffy."

"How's he doing?" A tearful and repentant Andrea looked up from the porch as Dale stepped outside to join her.

"He'll be fine. What about you?" He lowered himself to the step beside her, carefully placing his rifle down at his side.

"I shot Daryl." She softly replied, shaking her head in disbelief. "I was so desperate to prove myself that I completely ignored the fact the glare of the sun made it impossible for me to see the target…I shot Daryl."

"Don't be too hard on yourself." Dale nudged her playfully and winked over. "We've all wanted to shoot Daryl." Andrea smiled and Dale was happy that he'd managed to stop her guilt trip.

"Come on," He said as he rose to his feet, and extending his hand. "Let's go wash up for dinner. I heard that it's gonna be a real feast." Andrea let herself be pulled up and squeezed the older man's hand in gratitude.

"Thanks, Dale."

"Just telling it like it is, Andrea." Dale brushed off her thanks and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow.

"No, really. Thanks." Andrea rested her head against his arm, and felt him pat her shoulder.

"Anytime, Andrea. Anytime."


	31. Chapter 31

As the sun set over the horizon, the residents of the Greene Farm shared the evening meal of Goose, green beans and mashed potatoes with the residents of the camp. Glenn couldn't help comparing the joyful meal that first night at the CDC with the almost tense atmosphere that was lingering in the Greene household. Glenn, Maggie, Beth and Jimmy sat at a small side table; where if he wasn't mistaken, were undercurrents running between the young Asian and the elder Greene daughter. At the large table, Hershel sat at the head and had hardly spoken a word all evening.

"Does anyone know how to play guitar?" Glenn leant over the back of his chair to address the quiet member at the 'grown-up' table. "Dale found a cool one." He chuckled at the silence. "Somebody's gotta know how to play." Cutlery scraped against plates and still no one said a word.

"Otis did." Patricia announced quietly.

"Yes, and he was very good, too." Hershel placed his hand over Patricia's offering her his support and understanding, before turning back to his meal. Disappointed at not being able to lighten the atmosphere, Glenn turned around in his chair and caught Maggie's eye. He felt her hand press against his knee, and when she withdrew it, notice she'd left a scrap of paper and pen on his thigh.

He discreetly unfolded the paper and read: _Tonight, where?_ He smiled as he scribbled a response, not realising that their little actions had come to the attention of both Hershel and Dale across the way.

Daryl was lying on his uninjured side, away from the door when he heard someone rattle the doorknob and enter the room. He rolled onto his back bringing the sheet up to his chin to hide his scarred chest.

"It's just me, Daryl. I brought you some dinner." He relaxed a little as Carol came into the room, carrying a tray containing a plate of the goose and a tall glass of juice. "How are you feeling?" She asked as she set the tray down on the bedside cabinet.

"About as good as I look." He grumbled, trying to sit up in bed and keep the sheet covering his chest at the same time.

"Try to eat, you must be starving." Carol leant over to brush a kiss against the bandage wrapped around his forehead. His arm came up to instinctively block her movement but he managed to drop it before it connected. Carol saw the move but said nothing as she straightened up.

"Watch out, I've got stitches." Daryl grumbled to cover his delight at her soft touch, as fleeting as it was. He only wished that the bandage hadn't been in the way so that he could have felt her lips against his skin.

"You need to know something. You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life." Carol didn't intend to cause him embarrassment or make him feel uncomfortable at her words, but she obviously had as Daryl turned over to his side again, hiding his face from her view.

"I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done." He muttered against the pillow; not wanting her to see the outright delight that spread across his face at her sentiment.

"I know. You're every bit as good as them. Every bit." Daryl could hear the tears choking her voice and rolled over carefully onto his back again; sighing heavily. His head still ached up a storm and he was feeling every bit of his forty two years. He reached up a hand to rub his forehead, wincing when his fingers pressed against a particularly sore spot.

"Head still ache? Want me to get you anything?" Carol asked in concern, stepping closer to the edge of the bed. Daryl shook his head, wincing harder as the movement seem to make his brain rattle inside his skull.

"Wouldn't mind a bit of company…if you're not busy that is."

"No, I'm not busy. Did you want to talk about anything in particular?"

"Nah, just like to hear you talkin'; it's nice and soothing. Got any books in that old bag of yours?"

"Ummm…" Carol rummaged around in her cloth bag and pulled out a couple of paperbacks that she purloined from the library at the CDC. "I don't suppose you'd like to hear about Jane Eyre falling for the dashing but mysterious Mr. Rochester?"

"Chick book, I don't think so. What else ya got?" Daryl grimaced at the thought and looked over again.

"Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion...that's all."

"Don't know that one; read me a bit from 'Persuasion'…maybe it will stop me from thinking about how much my head aches."

"Okay…I'll read you a little from my favourite part, stop me if you get bored." Carol sat back in the chair and curled her legs underneath her and opened the book.

_'I can listen no longer I silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever…" _

"Well, on that note, I'll just leave you two alone a minute; that sounds a mite too feminine for my liking, think I can feel my balls shrinking as we speak." The quiet voice from the corner had Carol leaping from the chair in shock. "Think I'll go and grab a bite for myself before Shane eats the whole lot." Merle rose from where he had been sitting in the shadows, chatting with Daryl before she entered the room. He'd only called in for a minute after finishing a shift on watch over at the camp, and was hoping that someone had thought to leave a plate warming on the stove for him; after all he'd only caught the damned things.

"Sorry, Merle. If I had known you'd be up here I'd have brought you a plate up too. I made sure that Patricia keep some in the warming oven for you; kept it away from the others looking for refills."

"Hey, it's okay honey, I'm a big boy I can manage. You take care of my 'lil brother and let me worry about me. Daryl, I'll check in on you later, okay man?"

"Yeah, okay."

Merle squeezed Carol's shoulder in passing. "You've got a real soothing voice there, Carol. Very nice, indeed."

"Do you want me to go now that Merle's gone?" Carol clenched the book tightly in her hand, preparing to leave if Daryl said that's what he wanted.

"Naw, why don't you carry on reading for a while? C'mon, come and sit up here by the light. No point strainin' your eyes over there in the dark." Daryl patted the space next to him on the mattress.

"Okay," She agreed. "But just for a little while, and only if you promise to eat a little of that dinner."

"Nag, nag, nag…" Daryl complained, but took the tray anyway. He picked up the fork and held it poised over the plate. "Go on then, read on." Carol settled back against the pillows and flicked through the pages until she found where she had left off.

_'I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own that when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that a man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me…'_

Carol stopped reading when she felt a light pressure against her shoulder, Daryl had fallen asleep whilst eating his dinner and his head had tipped over to rest against her. Carol carefully propped a pillow against his head so that she could remove the tray before the plate tipped over. After placing it on the bedside table she glanced over to see that Daryl had opened his eyes slightly and was peering blearily at her through his lashes.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Just wanted to get the tray out of the way before it went everywhere. Does your head still ache?"

"Yeah, a bit. Side hurts like crazy though…need to lay down but that sets ma head off again." Daryl looked thoroughly miserable and Carol's heart ached in sympathy. She crawled back up and propped herself up against the headboard, placing a pillow across her lap.

"Here, Pookie. Rest your side on the pillow and lean against me for a while. You drifted off like that before so it couldn't have hurt too much. I'll sit here and read for a while longer, just until Merle gets back."

"Alright, but just for a while." Daryl carefully manoeuvred himself into position, lowering his wounded side so that it just rested lightly against the pillow on Carol's lap and wincing as it came into contact. "Naw, can't do it…hurts too bad to rest on it."

"Okay, try this." Carol reversed their positions on the bed so that she was sitting on his uninjured side, "Put your head on the pillow, and try to close your eyes. You need to rest." Daryl sank his head into the soft pillow and sighed in relief as the pressure in his temple and abdomen gave way at last. Carol picked up her book once more and started to read, soon found her hand drifting over to smooth Daryl's hair away from his forehead. He sighed at her gentle caress and felt himself relax even further under her cool, soothing touch.

Merle found them asleep on the bed a few hours later. The book had fallen onto the bed, out of Carol's lax hand. One of Daryl's hands was flung out to the side but the other was stretched over his head where it clasped on of hers. Carol's other hand was buried in Daryl's hair, looking as though she had fallen asleep while stroking his head. Merle looked on as Carol shivered lightly in her sleep and saw his brother's instinctive reaction was to try and gather her closer but his injuries were holding him back. Rather than have Daryl wake up, Merle reached over to snag the light cotton quilt that Hershel had thrown over the bottom of the bed when they had first carried Daryl in; he spread it over the two sleeping forms and clicked off the light, leaving them to their peaceful slumber. He grabbed a throw and cushion out of the armchair and prepared to bed down in the hallway, not wanting to intrude on their private moment, but not wanting to be too far away either. Sighing heavily, Merle sank down against the wall and settled down to sleep.

**AN: Extract taken from 'Persuasion' by Jane Austen, 1818.**


	32. Chapter 32

Downstairs in the kitchen, Maggie and Beth were finishing the dinner clear up when Maggie realised that she hadn't yet read Glenn's reply to her earlier note. She hadn't wanted to read it with her Daddy's eyes glaring at her from across the room and so had tucked into her front pocket for safe keeping.

Maggie glanced over at Beth and tried to act very casual; all the time her insides were jumping up and down with excitement. "Bethie, you okay finishing up in here? I want to get a bit of fresh air before I turn in. Think I'll sit on the porch for a spell."

"Sure, Maggie. I'm almost done here anyway. G'night." Beth looked up from where she was drying the last few pots and waved her sister goodnight, she smiled as she watched her sister almost trip over her own feet in her haste to get out of the screen door. "Sit a spell on the porch, my ass. I only hope Daddy doesn't cotton on to what you got going on with Glenn." Beth shook her head in amusement, she might have only been sixteen but she wasn't a complete innocent. Both her and Jimmy had been on the receiving end of one of her Daddy's famous looks once or twice themselves, and she knew that he'd already warned Maggie about getting too close to the young Korean already. Looks like Maggie had refused to heed that warning. Beth sighed again and turned her attention back to the dishes.

Out on the porch Maggie sank into the old rocking chair and carefully pulled out the note from her pocket. Her hand trembled slightly in anticipation as she unfolded the note to read its scribbled contents: _You ever done it in a hayloft? Ten p.m._

Her heart sank as she read the words once more, wanting to make sure that she hadn't misread it. No, no mistaking Glenn's scrawl for anything else. The words seemed to jump right off the page; 'hayloft', 'ten p.m.' She leapt out of the chair sending it scooting back across the decking boards and craned her neck to try and catch a glimpse of the time in the Grandfather clock in the hallway, nine fifty-seven, nine fifty-eight.

"No, no, no, no, no!" She chanted under her breath as she leapt down the steps and started to race across the yard into the night. "Please, let him be late. Please, please, please!"

Glenn hurried over from the campsite to the farms massive timber framed barn; looking back over his shoulder every so often to check that he wasn't being followed. Excitement raced through his veins at the thought of being with Maggie once again, he'd hardly been able to believe it when he'd opened that little note under the table, especially as she had been so quick to advise him that their time together in the pharmacy had been nothing more than a one shot deal. He had purloined a soft quilt from the RV and walked quickly, holding the quilt tucked under his arm and carrying a small battery operated torch in the other. He approached the large double doors at the front of the barn and was puzzled to see it fastened with a strong padlock.

"Must be to keep the looters out, more private though; we aren't likely to be disturbed." He mused and took a few steps back to look for another means of entrance, and smiled broadly when he saw the open door to the hayloft. He ran around to the side of the building and threw the quilt up, followed by the torch. Grasping the rung of a rickety wooden ladder he started to climb up; once he reached the loft he started to look around for a place to set up their rendezvous, wrinkling his nose up slightly as a fetid odour from the floor below drifted up to the loft.

"Jeez, Hershel what have you been keeping in here? Smells like dead horse or something…" A series of quiet moans from down below had him looking around in anticipation.

"Maggie? That you?" Glenn flicked the torch on and swung it in a wide arc; thinking that Maggie wanted to have a little fun with him. All thoughts of fun and games fled his mind as the beam of light illuminated the full horror of the barn. He whirled around and ran for the hayloft door, panting in panic. He had to warn the others! He stopped abruptly when he met Maggie who had just reached the top rung of the ladder.

"You weren't supposed to see this."


	33. Chapter 33

One day later, a slowly recovering Carl was out feeding corn to the chickens with Lori. He'd been allowed out of bed the day before and Hershel had ruled that a few hours of exercise each day would aid in the healing process. Lori sat on an old log stumped and watched her son carefully for signs that he was overdoing it.

"Don't look so worried, Mom." Carl smiled over at his mother, having caught the anxious look on her face.

"It's my job." She stated simply, after all wasn't that what all mothers' were supposed to do? Fret and worry over whether their children were safe and away from harm.

"No it's not. You're a housewife."

"A housewife, huh? You see my house around here anywhere? Punk." Lori threw a handful of grain over her son, and it did her heart the world of good when he chuckled. Carl looked down at the small fluffy chicks pecking at the corn near his feet.

"These ones don't have a mother." He stated quietly and Lori looked over to see a trace of sadness in his eyes. _Maybe we ate her last night for supper, _she thought. But instead decided to reply with a safer; "Well, she might be somewhere else."

"Maybe she got eaten." Carl said in a matter of fact manner, and seeing his mother's shocked expression at his maturity; shrugged his shoulders. "Everything is food for something else."

Lori sat for a moment on the log wondering where her little boy had disappeared to, ever since he had come around from being shot it was like he'd aged five years for he was now sounding like a young adult rather than a scared eleven year old. Her eyes met Patricia's briefly as the other woman gathered eggs in the chicken coop. They shared a brief smile and then Patricia walked away, carrying an elderly chicken under her arm.

Patricia waited until Lori and Carl had moved off and then swiftly entered the smaller storage shed where a cloth bag was waiting on the bench. She grimaced as she twisted the chicken's leg to break it and stuffed it in the sack. Placing the sack in a waiting wheelbarrow she headed off toward the locked barn. It was feeding time again.

Glenn raised Dale's binoculars to his eyes and turned them toward the barn filled with Walkers. He had seen Patricia wheeling the barrow over to the barn and the way the sack had wriggled in her arms as she disappeared around the side, presumably toward the loft ladder. He shivered as he thought about what was likely going on in there right now.

"Could you be more obvious?" Maggie snapped as she carried a large wooden barrel through the yard. "Here, enjoy." She set the barrel down on the picnic table in front of Glenn and took a step back.

"Are you trying to buy my silence with fruit?" Glenn looked down to see the barrel overflowing with an abundance of fresh, sweet peaches from the trees surrounding the property.

"Of course not!" Maggie exclaimed, hurt that he would suggest such a thing. "There's also jerky."

"Would you please tell me why your dad has a secret barn full of Walkers? It's creepy."

"Ssh!"

"You know that right?" Glenn kept his voice low and even but Maggie was still frightened that they would be overheard.

"Ssh! Just trust me on this okay?"

"But I suck at lying. I can't even play poker. It's too much like lying." Glenn protested, he really felt that the others should be aware of what was going on just a few hundred feet away from where they had been sleeping.

"You have to keep this to yourself. You have to. Please." Maggie's eyes pleaded for understanding and Glenn reluctantly gave in.

Daryl poked one of his arrows through the webbed material that formed a window in the tent that he shared with Merle. It was nice to have been moved out of the house and into the fresh air but the situation sucked all the same. He hadn't seen Carol since they'd woken up that morning, wrapped in each other's arms and with the hot flush of embarrassment staining their cheeks red. She'd scampered out of the room as if the hounds of Hell were nipping at her heels and he'd not seen her since. He sighed again and poked another hole in the webbing.

"Hey." A soft feminine voice from the open side had him rolling over in excitement.

"'Bout time, woman! Haven't seen ya since ya scampered outta bed this mornin'…" He started to exclaim and then quietened down when he realised that it was Andrea and not Carol that had paid him a visit. "Oh, it's you. Hey."

"So, I'm guessing that it wasn't me or Lori that you were expecting to see right now, was it? You and Carol, huh…things heating up a little between the two of you?" Andrea stepped into the tent, holding something down by her side.

"Naw, not really. She helped clean me up after my 'lil tumble and we kinda fell asleep against each other while she was readin' to me. Thought we were gettin' somewhere after our little chat the night you an Merle went lookin' for Sophia – but it seems to be two steps forward and one step back." Daryl rolled onto his back, running his fingers down the length of his arrow.

"Give her time Daryl, she's lost her husband and possibly her daughter all in the space of a few short weeks. Now I know her life with Ed wasn't easy and he's probably no loss; but add in the search for Sophia and then trying to work out her feelings for you at the same time…that woman's gotta be living on the edge right now. It's a wonder she's still sane." Andrea stepped closer to the cot and watched the expressions flicker across Daryl's face as he tried to absorb her words; she saw frustration and fury melt away until weary resignation settled in their place.

"Yeah, I guess I oughta try and give her a little space. Me and Merle were thinkin' about movin' our tent over to the other field anyway. Not used to havin' this many people around us. Makes it hard to think sometimes."

"Yeah, might be a good idea. Maybe leave it for a couple of days though; just until your ribs are healed up and then Hershel won't have to trek all over the place when he comes out to check your wounds. Anyway," Andrea held out the book that she had brought in as a peace offering. "This is not that great, but…" Daryl took the book and flicked through the pages in a desultory fashion.

"What, no pictures?" He quipped, wanting to maintain the persona of a tough old redneck barely able to read.

"I'm so sorry. I feel like shit." Andrea crouched on the floor next to his side and closed her eyes in mortification.

"Yeah, you and me both." Daryl shifted on the cot, plumping the pillow beneath his head searching for a more comfortable position.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but if there's anything I can do…" Andrea started and Daryl looked over at the anxious woman, and decided to put her out of her misery.

"You were trying to protect the group. We're good." Andrea smiled at his serious tone and got up to leave him to his reading. "Hey!" Andrea turned as he called out, a slight smirk on his face. "You shoot me again, and you'd best pray I'm dead."


	34. Chapter 34

"What did Rick say?" Glenn whispered to Lori as he saw her making dinner preparations over the camp stove. She looked up and glanced away without speaking. "You didn't tell him? Okay. But you have to. You're pregnant." Lori glanced warningly at Glenn as his pitch rose higher and higher, and she continued to get on with dinner. "You need vitamins, medicine, a nice pillow." Lori's expression said it all: really, a nice pillow? Glenn shrugged so maybe a nice pillow wasn't high on her priority list right now but he was determined to help. He bent down to pick a couple of large pieces of jerky out of the paper sack and thrust them at her.

"Here, you can have my share."

"Honey, I don't want your food, okay? Eat." Lori paused in the action of pouring water into the large kettle hanging over the fire and pushed the jerky back to him.

"You need to eat. You're too skinny. And if you're not gonna let Rick take care of you, then someone has to. Lori, you have a medical condition." Lori scoffed at that last statement and crouched by the fire to add more logs; at least here on the farm they could build the flames as high as they wanted without fear of attracting the Walkers. There hadn't been a sighting in days, and it was beginning to feel more and more settled being there on the farm.

"I'll make another run into town. Just tell me what you need." Lori rose to her feet, the last of her patience disappearing.

"I **need** you to be quiet about this. All right? Please." A loud whistle pierced the air as Shane tried to attract Glenn's attention.

"Hey! Peach man!"

Jimmy, Rick and Shane were gathered around the survey map spread across the hood of Carol's Cherokee.

"The creek flows south, past that farmhouse Daryl found. Maybe Sophia dropped the doll there, the current brought it downstream."

"So what, you think she took this road here," Shane tapped at a spot on the map. "And then she went north?"

"Yeah. What's up that way?" Rick turned his head to ask Jimmy, who scratched his head for a moment before answering. "A housing development. It went in maybe 10 years ago."

"Take a run up there after gun practise." Rick advised Shane. "I'll hold down the fort here but take back up. After what went down with Daryl, I don't want anyone going out alone. We stay in pairs."

"I'll take suggestions on a partner."

"See how they do on the range, then take your pick."

Glenn brought over the fruit barrel, hovering near Rick and wondering whether he should be the one to advise him of his impending fatherhood. He glimpsed Lori standing over by a grove of trees looking at him. She hefted a sharp, pointy stick in her hands and looked pointedly down at the stick and back to Glenn again. He gulped hard and chose to simply walk away. Shane and Rick laughed at Glenn's awkward behaviour and they turned as light footsteps crunched on the gravel behind them.

"We'd like to join you for gun training today." Hershel's young daughter walked up to them, Patricia at her side.

"Hershel's been very clear." Rick stated. "I can't involve any of you in what we do without his okay."

"He doesn't like it, but he consented." Beth assured him, and looked over at Patricia who nodded in approval.

"Otis was the only one who knew guns. Now that he's gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves. Her father saw the sense in that."

"No offence, but I'll ask Hershel myself."

Later a heated conversation was taking place between Lori, Carl, Shane and Rick. Lori didn't want her son anywhere a gun but Rick and Shane were finally beginning to wear her objections down.

"I'm not gonna play with it, Mom. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun. "

"Lori, it'll be okay. Shane's the best instructor I know. I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl."

Lori crossed over the short distance between herself and Carl and grasped him firmly under the chin, raising his face so that she could meet his eyes.

"You will take this seriously and you will behave responsibly, and if I hear from anyone in this camp that you're not living up to our expectations…"

"He won't let you down." Rick called over and looked pointedly at his son, warning him that this would be a good time to listen to his mother.

"Yeah." Carl nodded.

"Now if we're gonna do this, you listen to Shane."

"Okay, dad."  
"All right? You be careful." Rick escorted Carl down to the waiting cars and Shane looked up from where he was loading the trunk.

"You comin?" He called out to Glenn.

"I gotta help Dale clean the spark plugs on the RV. He said he's gonna teach me mechanics. I should probably go look for him."

"You found me." Dale called over from where he had heard Glenn's excuse to Shane. The spark plugs didn't need cleaning on the RV and he certainly didn't recall offering to teach Glenn anything about mechanics. They waited until the cars had cleared camp and then Dale turned to face Glenn with a questioning look on his face.

"Spark plugs, huh? Want to tell me what's going on?"

"You're old." Glenn stated and then quickly backtracked, thinking that probably wasn't the best way to start the conversation. "You know things. So, what if somebody told you something that somebody else should know?" Dale shook his head and looked over at the younger man.

"Glenn, stop being dramatic. Spit it out!"

"There's Walkers in the barn and Lori's pregnant." Glenn finally blurted out and watched the colour drain from the older man's face, leaving it pale beneath his bushy grey beard.


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: The next couple of chapters focus mainly on Lori's pregnancy and how wasn't so blind to how much attention his best friend has been paying his wife lately...**

"Nervous Nellie. She found her way home?" Dale watched as Hershel carefully lifted each hoof, checking for any sign of injury to the horse.

"I found her in her stall this morning."

"Uh-huh." Dale walked down the length of the stables and paused before the horse, offering her a rub along her velvety nose. "I love your fields." He remarked and Hershel nodded in appreciation. "I took a long walk this morning," Dale continued. "I ended up by the barn. I heard the moans." Hershel paused in rubbing the horse down and glanced over at Dale. "That's unfortunate."

"I'm sure you have your reasons for keeping this a secret."

"I saw the broadcasts before they stopped. I saw the irrational fear, the atrocities, like the incident at my well."

"We put down a Walker."

Hershel looked up from the horse and bluntly replied; "You killed a person."

"Well, if you watched the same broadcasts I did, you saw Walkers attack, kill. They're dangerous."

"A paranoid schizophrenic is dangerous, too. We don't shoot sick people." Hershel turned his attention back to Nellie, the conversation over as far as he was concerned. Dale couldn't leave it there though.

"Will all due respect, you are cut off from the outside world here. But I've seen people that I've cared about die and come back, and they're **not** people." Hershel stopped grooming the horse and turned his head to stare at Dale.

"My wife and stepson are in that barn. They're people." Dale's eyes went wide with shock and his jaw dropped open. He shook his head in disbelief and all he could think of to say was; "I'm sorry." He nudged Nellie's nose out of the way so that he could see Hershel. "Let me help. I'll speak to Rick. He's a good man. We can make the barn more secure, keep everybody safe."

"The barn is secure. Keep this to yourself if you want to help. Rick is a man of conscience, but are you so sure about everyone in your group?" With those final words ringing in his ears, Dale left Hershel tending to his horse and walked slowly back to the RV.

That evening as Dale was cooking some steaks over the fire Lori felt the nausea built up in the back of her throat as the smell drifted up her nostrils. She was keeping it together until Dale slid a portion of the steak on a plate and passed it over to Carol; it was meant for Daryl but he noticed that she handed it over to T-Dog to take into the injured man in her stead. He made a mental note to ask her whether anything was wrong later. In the meantime he noticed a very pale looking Lori bolt away from the cooking meat and put down the spatula to walk over to check up on her. He found her sitting on a fallen log just on the edge of their camp and came to rest just beside her.

"My wife was pregnant once, she miscarried and we didn't try again after that." Dale followed her over to where she sat on a fallen log, trying to control the nausea. Lori looked up and pressed a hand against her chest. "I am so sorry." She responded quietly, Dale nodded and stared out over the fields.

"The thing that I remember most is how nauseated she became at the smell of cooking meat. And she was a meat-eating gal, my wife, but with the pregnancy, that Thanksgiving, the turkey…" Dale paused and Lori chuckled already knowing where the story was heading. "She couldn't be in the house for two days until it was aired out, poor thing."

"Glenn told you." Lori glanced over questioningly and Dale held out his hands expressively.

"What did you expect? The boy has no guile."

"I haven't told Rick. I can't."

"Because of Shane?" Dale knelt at her side, concerned for her now.

"Was it that obvious?" Lori was horrified that the older knew about her brief indiscretion. She was already aware that both Merle and Daryl knew about the affair as they had come across the two of them in the woods near the quarry only a few days before Rick had returned back to her.

"No, no, I don't think anyone knew. I didn't, not for sure."

"Look, I thought my husband was dead…" Lori tearfully stated, trying to explain her reasons. "And I felt like I died with him. And I wanted to feel something, anything. And now I hate myself for it."

"And the baby?" Dale questioned softly, looking up at Lori's tear stained features.

"It's Rick's. None of the rest of it matters." Lori stated emphatically and a glimmer of a smile spread across Dales' timeworn face.

"Then what's your concern?"

"Memories are what keep me going now. Memories of what life used to be. And I've got a deep well to draw on. I still remember joy. But I think Carl's well is already running dry. And this baby won't have any good memories at all, only fear and pain." Dale reached out and placed a hand on Lori's sleeve.

"You can't think like that. We can still find joy and we can still take strength from each other."

"Do you really think this baby has a chance, that it could grow up and live a happy life? Look me in the eye and tell me that my baby will grow up to be your age and die happy. Tell me. Tell me you believe that." Dale could only sit there in silence and Lori shook her head in disappointment as she walked away.

Lori found Glenn chopping wood for the fire, he put down the axe and started to apologise.

"I'm sorry. It just came out. And it was Dale…" Lori stepped forward and tried to reassure him.

"It's okay. I never should have put you in that position. I've been thinking about what you said about needing help. And you're right that I do."

"Name it. Yeah." Glenn nodded his head, eager to help in any way that he could.

"If you're still willing to make a run into town for me."

"I'm your man." Lori stepped forward and enfolded the smiling man in a warm embrace.

"Thank you." She whispered against his neck and felt Glenn patting her back.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal really." Lori nodded and went away to prepare the list for Glenn to take into town.

"You didn't have to come. You could hate me from a distance. Please say something." Glenn and Maggie were once again paired together riding toward town. "Maggie, I…"

"I asked for your trust and you betrayed it." Maggie turned on her horse to blast a torrent of angry words in his direction. "Now my dad is pissed at me. Your turn."

"So your dad thinks they're sick, do you agree with that? Even after what you saw at the well?"

"I'm not sure what I saw at the well."

"Yes, you are. Look if you had seen Atlanta, you would not have a barn full of Walkers."

"I wish you'd stop calling them that!"

"What do you call them?" Glenn asked, Maggie slid from her horse and looked over as she tied the reins to the post outside the pharmacy.

"Mom. Shaun, Mr and Mrs Fischer, Lacey, Duncan." She stomped into the pharmacy and called back over her shoulder. "What does she want now?"

"I can't say." Glenn replied looking down at the list. Maggie huffed and walked back over to him hovering by the feminine hygiene section.

"So, when one of them asks you to keep your mouth shut…"

Glenn sighed and handed over the note from Lori. "Crawl out of my butt and help me look, please." Maggie scanned the note and fury built up behind her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me." She stomped over to the dispensary section and started rifling through the few cases of medicine left on the shelf. She reached over to pick up something that could be interesting when something snarled at her from behind the unit and reached out to grab her arm.

"No, no. Oh, God! Glenn!" She screamed as she tried to twist away from the gnarling Walker who was trying to pull her through the shelving units.

"Maggie!" Glenn screamed out from the other end of the store and started running toward her.

"Get it off me!" Maggie screamed again and Glenn started to scan the shelves for anything he could use as a weapon. Shelves! He thought and swiped everything clear off one shelf and lifted it off the supports. He leapt up onto the dispensary counter and smacked the shelf over the head of the Walker attacking Maggie sending a spray of blood across the walls. Maggie sank against the counter, gasping for breath and Glenn jumped down to check whether she was okay.

"Did it get you? Did it bite you?" He asked urgently, checking her arms and face for injury. Maggie shook her head and collapsed sobbing into his arms_._


	36. Chapter 36

"Hey! We got your stuff." Maggie furiously strode through the gate leading into the camp with Glenn trailing behind her.

"Maggie, hang on please." Glenn pleaded, wanting to keep the peace. Lori looked up from where she was folding laundry in front of her and Rick's tent. She waved a hand at them to beckon them to follow her.

"Come on in here."

"Why? Nothing to hide. We got your special delivery right here." Maggie strode right up to Lori, slamming the items one by one onto the table. "We got your lotion, special conditioner, your soap opera digest."

"Maggie…" Lori was amazed at the venom being directed at her from the younger woman.

"Next time you want something, get it your damn self. We're not your errand boys."

"Honey, I…" As Lori went to step forward her foot grazed something else that had fallen from the bag. Glenn had come through for her again and had managed to source several boxes of morning after pills. Maggie bent to scoop up the packets and threw them at Lori's chest.

"And here's your abortion pills." She stormed off and Glenn glanced over at Lori's startled face before following after her.

"That was not cool."

"Which part? The one where that bitch almost got us killed?"

"I should have gone alone." Glenn stated quietly, "If you want to blame anybody, blame me."

"Right, take the blame." Maggie stopped walking and turned to face her would-be boyfriend. "You know, for a smart guy, you're really stupid."

"Okay, I'm confused, because I think you just paid me a compliment, but you made it sound..." Glenn didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before Maggie lunged forward and pulled him into a warm, wet kiss.

"I've already lost three of the people that I care about most in this world."

"Maggie…" Glenn breathed, and Maggie pressed a finger against his lips to silence him.

"Shut up. You're smart. You're brave. You're a leader. But you don't know it. And your friends don't want to know it. They'd rather have you fetching peaches. There's a dead guy in the well? Send Glenn down. You're Walker bait. I can't take you becoming one of them." Maggie released Glenn and strode off across the fields to head back to the house; leaving Glenn to follow her at a discrete distance.

He made his way back into camp and onto Lori's tent. She looked up at his approach and called out quietly: "The blood on Maggie's shirt?"

"She was attacked." Glenn confirmed with a nod.

"Are you guys all right? How bad was it?" Lori asked and Glenn stepped into the tent, ducking his head as it brushed the top of the door opening.

"It was pretty close."

"I'm so sorry. I should never have asked you to go."

"I offered."

"I thought the town was safe." Lori shook her head as she sat at the small table and looked up at Glenn with tears pooling on her lashes. "If you hadn't have come back…"

"But we did. I always do." He noticed her rubbing the small boxes of pills together with her fingers. "The morning after pills, will they even work?"

"I don't know. And I don't know if I want them to…"

"Then I…err, got these too, just in case." Glenn placed a small white paper sack on the table in front of Lori. She reached inside the bag and pulled out the bottle.

"Pre-natal vitamins…That's a hell of a choice."

"I'm glad it's not mine." He stated quietly and watched as she caressed the bottle of vitamins almost lovingly. "Lori, we're friends aren't we?" She looked up in amazement at the quietly voiced question.

"With everything we've been through, yeah."

"I can't tell you what to do. I could never tell you something like that. But your choice, maybe you shouldn't make it alone."

Lori waited until she was alone before she started to pop the pills out of their blister packs. She stared at the pills sitting in her open palm and then with shaking hands gulped them down with sips of tepid water. _Oh, God, what have I done?_

The enormity of what she had just attempted to do hit her like a sledgehammer and she ran out of the camp, sobbing and gasping for breath. Falling to her knees she rammed her fingers down her throat, over and over until she gagged. Coughing, she scrambled in the dirt looking to ensure that all of the pills were accounted for. _Five, six, seven. Shit! Only seven, no wait – eight. _ She rested back on her ankles and placed a hand over her abdomen. For what it was worth, that baby was in there to stay. She rose to her feet as the sound of angry footsteps crunching on the gravel warned her that she was no longer alone. Lori turned around to see a tired and pissed off looking Rick standing before her in the middle of the gravel road. He set his hands on his hips and looked over at his wife. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"We can't leave. I'm pregnant." Lori squinted at her husband through the glare of the sun, and watched as his hand slowly opened to reveal the crumpled empty packaging.

"Are you?" He asked quietly and took a few paces toward her.

"I threw them up. You can yell if you want." At her quiet statement Rick threw his arms in the air, jaw twitching as he tried to rein in his warring emotions; jubilation, fury, and fear – all of those and more were racing through his mind at the same time. Jubilation – the fact that his wife was pregnant again after years of wondering whether they ought to try for a brother or sister for Carl. Horror – at the very idea that she would even think of not going ahead with the pregnancy; what if the tables had caused irreparable harm to her? Fear – not just of everything that could go wrong at any stage of the pregnancy but that unspoken fear that he had been hiding ever since the quarry; what if the baby wasn't even his? He'd seen the way that Shane had become very protective with his family; more than just a friend would be, and the looks that the two of them shared when they thought no one else was watching…

"You can scream if you have to," Lori continued, scanning the emotions that flickered over Rick's eyes. "But talk to me."

"How long have you known?" Rick walked over to stand directly in front of her, wanting to see her face as she answered.

"Does it matter?" she questioned, Rick knew then that Lori possibly didn't even know herself who the biological father of her child was.

"Yes, it matters! Days? Weeks? And you didn't tell me." The tic in Rick's jaw twitched as he struggled to rein himself in.

"I'm telling you now."

"I found these. So, Glenn knows, right? Instead of coming to me, you send him to get pills?" Rick almost spat the words in her face, Lori watched the fury mounting behind his eyes and thought about all the times before, when they had argued and he had simply remained placid and calm, agreeing with everything she said. Not any longer, the man before her was almost a complete stranger; he ranted and raved as he paced up and down that small patch of gravel road.

"I panicked. You tell me that we have no roof and no walls…."

"DO NOT PUT THIS ON ME!" Rick blasted at her, throwing the empty pill packets down on the ground between them. "You tear into me for keeping secrets when you're holding onto this?"

"You want me to bring a baby into this? To live a short, cruel life?"

"How can you think like that?" Rick threw his hands in the air and whirled away from his wife.

"We can't protect the son we already have." Lori cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"So this is the solution?" Rick looked down at packets on the gravel and ground his boot heels into them.

"Rick, I threw them up." Lori stated emphatically. "I screwed up. I don't know how we do this." She turned to lean her forearms on the fence rail and Rick exhaled slowly.

"We can make it work." He turned to half face her, knowing that despite everything she had done, she did it because she thought he was dead. How could he blame her for that?

"How? Tell me how."

"We'll figure it out. Shouldn't we try to figure it out? You threw up the pills. You want this baby. I know you do."

"Not like this. Not giving birth in a ditch. Not when its life will hang by a thread from the second it's born. Not when every cry will put it, and Carl, and everyone we care about, into danger. That's not right." Lori looked fully into Rick's eyes as she made her impassioned speech and watched as he ran a hand wearily across his stubbly cheeks.

"Not even giving it a chance isn't right either."

"Maybe this is why I didn't want to tell you." Lori whispered as she raised a hand to her forehead.

"I still don't understand why. You really think I'd make you have a baby you don't want?"

"No, no." Lori shook her head and reached out to place a hand on Rick's shirt. "So that if I went through with it, it would be on my conscience and not yours."

"Maybe that's true, but…" Rick's voice trailed off as he placed a hand over his heart and took a deep breath. "I can't live like this anymore, Lori. We can't live like this. Is there anything else I should know about?" He stared over at his wife, almost pleading with her to come clean about her relationship with Shane; to try and have a chance at rescuing their marriage he needed her to be completely honest with him.

"Shane and I." She finally admitted and Rick slowly nodded and turned to stare out into the fields.

"I know. Of course I know. You thought I was dead." He looked over at Lori. "The world went to shit and you thought I was dead. Right?" _Oh, God, please don't let it have started before this; don't let me find out that HE was the reason she was pissed at me those few weeks before the shooting._

Lori nodded her head barely able to speak through her tears; "Yeah." Rick nodded again and turned his head toward the fields; he hadn't missed that initial hesitation before she agreed with him or the way her head seemed shake from side to side slightly before turning into a nod. He leant on the fence rail and simply accepted her words at face value; there would be time enough for questions later. For now they simply stood side by side, leaning on a fence rail and watching the sun drift slowly over the horizon.


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: Okay, so the barn is full of Walkers and Sophia is still missing. But with the two Dixon brother's following her trail, things could get a little interesting. Look out for the little CARYL moment at the end.**

The next morning, things were quiet over in the camp; Carol was on breakfast duty cooking eggs over the fire and everyone was dotted around the food area waiting for the day to start properly. "Hey, where'd you go?" Lori noticed Rick's distant expression and reached up to tangle a hand in the back of his hair and press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm here." He replied back quietly and patted her other hand where it rested on his knee. They'd had a long talk after Carl had fallen asleep and had made a pact not to speak about what had happened between her and Shane. Lori had insisted that she had broken things off as soon as Rick had returned to her, alive and well, at the quarry. They were going to take things one day at a time as they tried to patch up the foundations to their shaky marriage.

Glenn sat on the outskirts of the group, looking over at the house where he could just make out the figure of Maggie staring back at him and shaking her head. He glanced over to where Dale was waiting for his eggs; and the other man was nodding his head emphatically. Glenn rose to his feet and strode over to where the main tent stood. Placing his hands in the front pocket of his jeans, he cleared his throat.

"Guys." Everyone looked up and Glenn removed his hands from his pockets and twisted them in front of him. "So… the barn is full of Walkers." All conversation stilled and he noticed that plates were laid down; eggs congealing, as everyone looked over wearing the same expression of cold dread.

Shane was the first to drop his plate and set off running toward the barn, with everyone following in hot pursuit. Shane crept closer to the front and peered through the crack between the panels to see what he could make out within the dim confines. He drew back as one of the Walkers threw themselves against the door, and the group watched as it bowed slightly and then settled itself once more.

"You cannot tell me you're all right with this!" He spat out as he strode back to the others and walked straight past Rick.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"God! This is our lives man!" Shane whirled around, slapping his police issue ball cap against his thigh.

"Lower your voice!" Rick ordered, not wanting to rile the Walkers or attract the attention of Hershel.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea stated and was backed up by Shane.

"It ain't right. Not remotely. We've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right, or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time." Rick held out his hand to stop Shane's ranting.

"We can't go."

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because my daughter's still out there." Carol spoke up quietly, wrapping her arms around her middle as it warding off a chill. She felt Daryl move up to stand behind her and felt the warmth radiating off his body. Merle took his usual spot at her side and both men glared at Shane.

"Okay." Shane rubbed his hand across his face and looked over at the three of them staring across at him. "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

"Shane! We are not leaving Sophia behind." Rick stepped forward, sparing a brief smile toward Carol and faced down his friend. Daryl stepped out from behind Carol to add weight to the argument.

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago!"

"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll." Shane squared off with the younger Dixon, and Merle watched his brother bristle at the close quarters. He stepped forward to prevent his brother from knocking the former deputy sheriff on the ass.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Ma brother found more than just a fuckin' doll, and ya know it. That doll was the first sign that any of us had that actually meant somethin'."

"I'm just saying what needs to be said!" Shane yelled back and at that point Rick stepped in between the three angry men with his arms outstretched trying to keep the peace.

"All right, all right…" Shane craned his head around Rick, refusing to back down.

"You get a good lead; it's in the first 48 hours."

"Shane, stop." Rick ordered, he didn't want Shane to continue with the discussion that they'd had in the woods a few days previously; certainly not with Carol around to hear his every word.

"Let me tell you something else man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming…" Shane yelled, looking contemptuously between the two Dixon brothers, "Either of you, all methed out with your buck knife, and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction." Rick couldn't prevent the first swing that Merle took at Shane, clipping him on the jaw; but he was able to restrain Daryl from leaping in to beat on him too. T-Dog and Glenn held back a snarling Merle and Lori was hugging a crying Carol. Daryl simmered down as soon as he saw how upset she was over Shane's cruel words and tugged against the hold Rick had on his arm.

"I ain't gonna take a swing at him, Rick. Lemme go see how Carol's doin'." Rick released his arms and watched Daryl approach the crying widow. Lori stepped back as she saw Daryl coming toward them and he nodded over to her. He stood by Carol's side, wanting to reach out to her, but fearful of rejection. He settled for just brushing his arm against hers and was relieved when she didn't flinch away at the contact.

"I don't want you to believe a word of what just came out of his mouth. Sophia knows you and she trusts Merle; she would never run away from you, Daryl. Never." Carol whispered softly and pressed against his arm briefly. He gave a half smile in her direction and then moved away from her side as Shane continued to rant at everyone around him. He had pulled away when Lori had tried to intercede, warning her in a low voice to keep her hands off him.

"Back off!" Rick ordered in a firm voice, and everyone separated out; Shane turning away to start walking back to camp.

"Now, just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out" Rick said quietly, and Shane whirled around again; striding angrily toward his friend.

"What are you gonna figure out?" Lori stepped between the two men, pressing a hand firmly to Shane's chest. "Enough!"

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people," Dale stepped forward. "Sick people, his wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked and Dale nodded in confirmation.

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane blasted out.

"I thought we could survive one more night." Dale looked over at the still very angry man, and nodded. "We did. I was waiting until this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or no." Shane screamed out and slapped his hat down to the ground.

"Settle down!" Rick raised his hand in the air at the sudden growling coming from behind them. Their raised voices and very human smell had sent the Walkers in the barn into a frenzy and they were slamming themselves at the doors in an effort to break free. Although there was a wooden brace across the front, Hershel had also secured the door with two padlocks and a strong length of chain. The campmates watched as the doors creaked from the weight being thrown at them, causing the chain to grow taut and the wood to bow under the strain. Merle was the first to move, he placed a hand very firmly under Carol's elbow and with a glance over at his brother suggested that they move back up to camp. Daryl nodded and crossed over to take his place at Carol's right hand side, with Merle on her left. Merle glanced over at Glenn and jerked his head up towards the camp. Within a few moments, everyone followed their lead and left the barn to the Walkers.


	38. Chapter 38

**AN: Credit for most of the dialogue for this and all of the other chapters must go to the fantastic script writers at TWD; although I couldn't bring myself for my Daryl to be calling Carol a bitch in the stable scene - so that part has been well and truly CARYL'D up for your reading pleasure. Hope you enjoy!**

"Does Shane think Sophia's dead?" Carl's softly spoken question had Lori looking up from where she had been checking over his schoolbooks, an expression of shock in her eyes.

"Shane's just scared."

"Of the Walkers in the barn?"

"Yeah." Carl turned back to his schoolbooks for a moment, pencil scratching across the page and then laid his pencil down. "Mom," he turned his head to face Lori. "I'm not leaving until we find Sophia. And I don't want to go even after that."

"Well, we're not leaving, Carl." Lori reassured her son, hoping and praying that Rick would be able to talk Hershel around. Carl nodded happily, and Lori tapped the edge of the schoolbook. "Now, you finish those problems." Carl picked the pencil back up and made a few scratchy notations on the page.

"I just think…she's gonna like it here. This place, it could be a home." Lori looked into his eyes and reached over to enfold him in her arms; pressing a kiss against his hair.

Daryl was struggling to lift a heavy saddle in the stables, grunting with the effort and feeling the tug of the stitches in his side. Carol saw him press a hand against his side and rushed in, she had been wondering where he had disappeared to after they had all returned from the barn and now she knew that he was preparing to go out looking for Sophia again.

"You can't…." Carol protested as she saw him falter under the strain and he heaved the saddle onto a saddle rest next to the stalls.

"I'm fine." Daryl turned away from her pleading eyes and busied himself readying the tack that was needed.

"Hershel said you need to heal. It's only been two days."

"Yeah, I don't care."

"Well, I do." Carol said quietly and moved further into the stables. "Rick's going out later to follow the trail."

"Yeah, well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nuthin'." Daryl swung open the stall door and reached up to fasten a leading rope to the halter of his chosen horse's head; making sure that it wasn't Nellie, the horse that had thrown him at the ravine.

"No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse. We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl." Her softly spoken words had him leaving the horse and turning to face her. "We don't." Carol's blue eyes filled with tears as she lifted her shoulders slightly and softly admitted. "I don't." Daryl stepped out of the stall and brought himself right in front of her.

"What?" He said in disbelief. Was this the same woman that had faced Shane earlier at the barn and told him that the group couldn't move on because her daughter was still out there?

"I can't lose you, too." She whispered, Daryl dropped the remaining tack at her feet and brought a hand up to hover at her cheek; not knowing whether she would welcome his touch. Carol blinked back the tears and forced a trembling smile to her face. He moved his hand that remaining inch so that he could feel her soft skin.

"You won't." He whispered in return, softly stroking his thumb under her eyelashes to capture a single, sparling teardrop. "You can't lose me, Carol. I haven't come this far with you just to lose you now. Don't you know that? And I won't let you give up on Sophia, neither. Okay?"

"Okay." She smiled a little and he felt her nod against his hand. "If you have to go out today, will you at least consider taking Merle with you?" She looked up and saw the smirk that half flittered across his lips.

"Was goin' too anyway. He's running a bit late, he was supposed to be in here saddling up so that I didn't tear my stitches out." Daryl ducked to avoid the playful slap that Carol aimed at his head, chuckling at how far he'd come with this woman in such a short space of time. Just a few short months ago, he would never have been able to stand this close to anyone without flinching and to have someone aim their hand at him, albeit playfully, would have send him running for the hills.

"I'd best go and see what's keeping him. I want to check along the creek bed further upstream from where I found that doll and want to be back before dark." Daryl shifted his feet and then thought what the heck? He swiftly bent his head to place a quick kiss against her cheek and heard her hiss of indrawn breath at his actions. He quickly stepped back and strode off down the stable block.

"Hey, Carol." He turned his head to call back over his shoulder, and saw that she hadn't moved an inch. "See you at dinner; best you set another place at the table, 'cause I'm gonna be bringin' yer little girl home with me. Stay safe, woman."

"Yeah, you too." Carol raised a hand in farewell and then dropped it to her cheek, pressing it against the same spot his lips had touched briefly. She stood in the still quiet of the stable block watching him saunter out into the sunlight and heard him yell to his brother to get a move on. She heard Merle's intelligible reply and saw Daryl moved off toward the camp to go in search of him.

A knock at the porch door distracted Hershel from reading the Good Book as he ate his lunch in a solitary state. "Come on in." He called out and turned his attention back to the Psalm he was reading. Rick stepped into the house and crossed the room.

"A little light reading for lunch?" He said as he reached the table and saw what Hershel was reading.

"Been working so hard lately, I get my studying where I can."

"You know we can help you out with your work." Rick said, leaning his hands on the back of one of the dining room chairs.

"It's my field to tend." Hershel replied as he briefly looked up from his bible.

"We found the barn." Rick stated and waited for Hershel's reaction. Hershel turned a page and continued to read.

"Leave it be." He warned softly.

"Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way, your barn, your farm, your say."

Hershel finally looked up from his bible to glance over in Rick's direction. "I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate."

"Not a debate, a discussion." Rick said simply and watched as Hershel swallowed his mouthful and sat back in his chair, wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin.

"I need you and your group gone by the end of the week." He said finally and turned his attention back to his bible in an attempt to ignore Rick; but Rick refused to be dismissed that easily.

"I talked to Dale. You and I have our differences with the way we look at the Walkers. Those…" Rick chose his next word very deliberately causing Hershel to look back up at him. "People, they may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there, and that could change."

"I've given you safe harbour. My conscience is clear." Hershel had made his feelings for the matter very clear and saw no reason for their conversation to continue. Rick dropped down into the chair next to Hershel and leant forward to press his case.  
"This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling." Hershel had heard enough and rose from the table to take his plate out to the kitchen, Rick followed his every move.

"First time I saw a Walker, it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it. But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much, much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were. Please do not…do not send us out there again." Rick left Hershel staring out of the window above the sink and walked a few paces away, he turned around and with a slightly cracked voice announced: "My wife's pregnant." Hershel turned around slowly to face Rick who continued; "That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there. If we were to stay here we could help you with the work, with securing this place. We could survive together."

"Rick, I'm telling you we can't."

"Think about this, you think about what you're doing."

"I've thought about it."

"Think about it." Rick repeated.

"I THOUGHT ABOUT IT!" Hershel shouted and Rick leant forward to plead with him again.

"Think about it again. We can't go out there." Rick left Hershel with those last words and stormed out of the house, brushing past Maggie who had heard every word of their heated exchange. She looked at her father leaning heavily against the kitchen table and turned away to slip back out of the house.


	39. Chapter 39

"What's it gonna be, man which way does this thing go?" Shane was waiting impatiently for Rick out by the barn and started bombarding him with questions as soon as he heard his boots hitting the gravel.

"I don't know yet." Rick replied quietly, hooking his fingers through his belt loops and staring out over the fields.

"What did he say?" Shane persisted and Rick finally sighed and turned around.

"We're… negotiating." He said and watched Shane's face turn redder and redder as he tried to rein in his hot temper.

"You're…..clock's ticking, Rick."

"No, it isn't Shane. That barn is secure. We didn't even know about it until this morning." Rick tried to be the voice of reason but Shane refused to be placated.

"We didn't, no. Well we know about it now. Right? We know there's over a dozen walkers in there. We know that it's about a stone's throw from our camp, Rick. Where we sleep, so look, if we're not gonna go in there and clear it out, then we just gotta go."

"We're not gonna clear it out and we're not gonna go."

"We at least need our guns."

"We can't have them, not here." Rick was tired of having the same old argument time and time again, when would Shane finally get the message? Hershel had made it plain enough that the guns were only to be brought out for whoever had watch and when they were going out for practise.

"Why do you want to stay here when it's not safe?" Shane punctuated each word with a pound on the old red tractor that he was leaning on.

"We can make it safe." Rick insisted and paced a few steps away from the tractor.

"How we gonna do that?"

"We will, okay?" Rick sighed again, preparing to simply walk away, he had better things to do that try a flog a dead horse with Shane.

"No man, it's not okay, Rick."

"Shane, Lori's pregnant!" Rick saw the shock and disbelief spread across the other man's face and leant in close – "We need to stay."

"We need our guns."

"No, I can work this out. You good?"

"Yeah. Lori's having a baby, man. Congratulations."

"Thank you." Rick bit out and walked off across the field toward the house leaving Shane slumped against the side of the tractor.

"Hi, honey." Hershel walked over to the coffee pot keeping warm at the bag of the log fired stove. Maggie didn't acknowledge his greeting just continued snapping beans as she prepared supper. Hershel poured his coffee and turned to face his daughter, recognising what had her in a snit. "Carl doesn't need any more of my help."

"So that's it." Maggie replied furiously snapping beans and flinging them into the bowl

"Rick was trying to make his case," Hershel said as he took a seat opposite his daughter. "It'll be hard, they'll have to be careful. But he was being dramatic. They're a strong group. They've done well on their own. They're just gonna have to go out and find their own farm. There's plenty of them now to choose from."

"There aren't." Maggie replied shortly. "Every one of them nearby is burned out or full of Walkers."

"'Walkers'? So, we just keep these people here forever? How are they my responsibility?"

" _'A new command I give to you, Love one another as I have loved you…' _That's what you told me right? I was mad about Mom. Mad about you marrying Annette. I was 14 years old and I was awful, to you more than anybody. All I wanted to do was smoke and shoplift. _'Love one another.' _That's what you told me."

"Maggie, that was different."

"No," she said shaking her head, "you're different."

"I am. But we're not. I love you, that's part of this. Is this about you and the Asian boy? Do you want me to…"

"No. His name is Glenn. He saved my life yesterday when one of the people you think is sick tried to kill me. How's that for dramatic. Things aren't what you think they are. They aren't. Don't do this. Okay? It's not about me and Glenn. It's not about me and you. It's about you. It's about who you are, who you're gonna be."

"HERSHEL!" Jimmy burst in the kitchen door, panting for breath. "It happened again."

"…Also shows she could have been moving this way, south. If Sophia kept in that direction, she might have gotten out of the forest and into the farmland. So we take 74 up to Ivy Road, then push down south on foot through the forest until we hit Christopher, go east a couple of miles and then double back." Rick was explaining his proposed route to Andrea who was due to accompany him on the search that morning. He turned at the sound of Hershel calling his name

"Hershel. We just have our guns out because we're gonna go look for Sophia."

"Before you do that, I could use your help with something."

"Count me in," Andrea volunteered stepping forward with her gun.

"Thank you, but I just need Rick." Hershel nodded in her direction as Rick started to roll up the map that he had spread across the hood of the Cherokee.

"I'll be down at the barn keeping watch until you're ready." Andrea said and moved off leaving the two men alone at the car.

Lori was chopping carrots for supper when Shane approached her and knelt the other side of the chopping board

"I thought he was dead…" he started to say and Lori shook her head, not wanting to discuss their brief affair any further.

"Shane I don't…."

"Then when he came back, right then, right there, you see, I wished he was. Not because you wouldn't be mine, but because I know that sooner or later, he would be dead. See, Rick, he ain't built for this world, not for what it is now."

"You're wrong. You're wrong." Lori set aside her knife and leant across the board to try and make her point.

"Lori, how many times has he saved your life? I just….i want to know how many times. Because by my count, I've saved your life on 4 different occasions and that's Carl's to. So, I just want to ask you, how many times has Rick saved your life?"

"That night at the camp." Lori picked up the knife and gestured with it. "That night at the camp after the fish fry."

"No, no, no. See, no. that was me, too. You see, Rick, he showed up late because he went on a suicide mission over nothing. And so we lost Amy, we lost Jim. We lost…" Shane ticked the names off his fingers one by one and then lowered his voice. "Rick told me." He said voicing the real reason behind his impromptu visit.

"Told you what?"

"And I know the reason why you didn't is because you know it's mine."

"It's Rick's." Lori stated firmly, her eyes darkening with warning.

"Okay. You know, we carried on quite a bit before Rick got back, Lori. It's mine. You know it is."

"You're wrong. You're wrong. I'm sorry. Shane, I'm sorry. But even if it's yours, it's not gonna be yours. It's never gonna be yours and there's nothing you can do to change that."

"I don't need to." He stated quietly and walked off; leaving Lori to ponder his cryptic remarks.

Hershel led Rick down to the shallow creek just outside of his property and revealed the reason for dragging Rick away from the search for Sophia – there were two walkers were snarling at they were stuck in the mud.

"The silt on the bottom is like glue, you sink right in." Hershel explained as he walked closer. "That's Lou Bush!"

"You knew him?" Rick questioned as he carefully made his way down the slippery banks.

"Lou as in Louise. She has a farm up the road. Sweet corn mostly worked at Hapman's bar on weekends. The man, I don't know him, but the coveralls…I've been to where he worked. How many have you killed?" Hershel turned on the slope to face Rick.

"Too many to count." Rick admitted, and looked over at where the Walkers were struggling to free themselves of the silt.

"Can you stop?" At those words, Rick looked up and exchanged a long glance, Hershel sighed as he looked over at the two Walkers stuck on the creek bed. "There are people out there who haven't been in their right minds, people who I believe can be restored." Jimmy handed Hershel a dog catcher's snare pole

"You're not talking about the walkers are you?" Rick asked quietly and watched Hershel shake his head.

"It doesn't matter if you see them as human beings anymore. But if you and your people are going to stay here, that's how you're gonna have to treat them. My farm, my barn, my say." Hershel repeated the words that Rick had spoken earlier in the kitchen and after another long, searching look handed over the pole. Rick nodded slowly as he moved toward one of the Walkers.

"How many times did he do this?" Rick muttered as he struggled to corral the growling Walker that used to be Lou. Hershel stepped in to take over the pole leaving Rick to assist Jimmy with the male Walker.

"If one wondered onto the property, Otis would get them into the barn. Now we have to."

"What happens when the barn gets full?" Rick asked slipping over in the mud.

"Get the pole!" Jimmy shouted as the pole slipped from Rick's muddy grasp.

"Easy. Easy, Rick. Lead him. Jimmy will spot for us. Lead him, lead him, Rick. You're the carrot, not the stick."

"What?"

"You heard me, just lead him. He'll come to you." Hershel kept his voice calm and soothing as he told Rick exactly how to treat the Walkers.

"You told me he handled them easily. This is easy?" Rick could hardly believe what he was doing, but if it meant being able to stay on the farm; then so be it.

"It's easier than some things."

"You see it?"

"See what?" Carol questioned as Daryl led her around the edge of the small lake. He had ripped out a couple of stitches in his side lifting the heavy saddle in the stables earlier so Merle had headed out to follow the creek trail alone; stating that Daryl would only draw more Walkers out with the blood seeping through his dressing. Hershel had taken a quick look and advised that the wound had only reopened slightly and would not require any additional stitches. To prevent himself from going completely stir crazy he'd dragged Carol out for a walk leading her to where he'd spotted a cluster of Cherokee rose bushes in bloom.

"I'll find her. Hey, I'm sorry about what happened this morning. I should have just listened to you and maybe I'd be out looking for Sophia right now. Did I frighten you throwing that saddle around?"

"You didn't frighten me. You wanted to look for her. Why? This whole time, I wanted to ask you.

"Cause I think she's still out there. Truth is, what else I got to do?"

"We'll find her, we will." Carol bent down to gently caress the waxy petals of the rose, not wanting to pluck it from the bush. The one that Daryl had given her in the RV, had been carefully pressed by her and was now resting between the pages of Persuasion – the book that she had read to him while he lay recovering in Hershel's bed.

"Maggie." Glenn called out to Maggie as she walked past the RV with a basket of vegetables. When she walked straight past without acknowledging his call he clambered down the ladder and jogged after her. "Maggie. Maggie, just stop for a second."

"You talked about it. You told Dale, fine. I asked you. I told you. I just asked you for one thing. One thing!"

"I couldn't do it.

"My dad's gonna kick you guys out now. He told me."

"No, Rick's gonna work something out with your dad. Okay, I had to tell them."

"You did not!"

"No, I did." Glenn took hold of Maggie's arm and swung her around to face him. "Okay, I wanted to." He took the basket out of her arms and set in down on the ground. "You see, I forgot. Okay? I forgot, or I stopped thinking about it or maybe I didn't want to think about it. I let them lower me into that well like it was fun, like I was playing 'Portal' – that's a video game."

"Of course it's a video game," Maggie muttered sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest.

"And then the pharmacy happened yesterday and I realised something. I forgot that they're dangerous. I don't care if they're sick people or dead people, they're dangerous. And then I realised something else. That I don't want you in danger, ever. So, I hate to blow your dad's big secret, but I'm sick of secrets. Secrets get you killed. And I'd rather have you alive and hating me, than liking me and dead. So, that's why I told them." Glenn turned around and started to walk away; leaving Maggie staring at his retreating back.

"Hey, Walker bait." She called out and Glenn's shoulders stiffened, but he stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Don't call me that." He turned around and Maggie walked slowly up to him.

"Okay, **Glenn**." She chuckled softly as she reached over to grasp him by the neck and pull him closer to her. Laying a soft kiss upon his lips, Maggie let him know that everything was going to be okay between them.


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: Okay, are you ready? Things are about to get very interesting - Oh, and I just had to have Daryl tend to Carol's sore hands at the old water pump rather than Shane just for that little extra CARYL moment. **

Later that afternoon, Lori, Carl, Patricia, Beth, Maggie and Glenn were resting on the front porch when Andrea and T-Dog came striding up from the barn.

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog called out to Glenn, closely followed by Andrea's:

"Where is everyone?"

"You haven't seen Rick?"

"He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago."

"Yeah, you were. What the hell?" Daryl and Carol approached the house from where they had returned from their walk around the lake and Daryl was bristling with fury.

"Rick told us he was going out." Carol stated quietly from her position at Daryl's side and he nudged her shoulder in support; hating the way her cheerful outlook had suddenly taken a down turn. "Damn it! Isn't anyone taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail. How come ma brother's the only one who's shifted off his ass looking for Sophia? Ah, here we go." Daryl looked over to see Shane walking up the gravel drive and squinted when he saw the amount of weapons Shane had hitched over his shoulder. "What's all this?"

"You with me, man? Time to grow up, you already got yours?" Shane threw a rifle over to Daryl and glanced over at Andrea.

"Yeah, where's Dale?"  
"He's on his way."

"Thought we couldn't carry."

"We can and we have too. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't. How about you, man?" Shane stopped in front of Glenn and glanced between him and Maggie. "You gonna protect yours?" Glenn took the proffered rifle. "That's it. Can you shoot?" He asked Maggie.

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight."  
"We have to stay, Shane." Carl announced from the porch, Lori heard the commotion and crossed over to see what was going on.

"What is this?" She questioned, Shane ignored her completely and addressed his remarks directly to Carl.

"We ain't going anywhere, okay? Now look, Hershel, he's just gonna understand. Okay? Well, he's gonna have to." Shane walked over to kneel in front of Carl. "Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right? Now I want you to take this." Shane passed a small calibre pistol into Carl's hand. "You take it, Carl and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it." Lori ran down the porch steps and stepped in between Shane and her son.

"Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make."

"Oh, shit!" T-Dog cursed quietly as he caught sight of Hershel, Rick and Jimmy leading the two Walkers along the fence line.

"What is that? What is that?" Shane started running full pelt across the fields with Lori screaming out his name. Pretty soon the whole group was racing down after him and they met Hershel at the bottom fence.

"What the Hell are you doing?"  
"Shane, just back off."

"Why do your people have guns?"

"Are you kidding me? You see? You see who what they're holding onto?" Shane screamed at the group, pointing at the snarling Walkers.

"I see who I'm holding onto." Hershel retorted.

"No, man, you don't."

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk."

"What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us."

"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled, not wanting the man to ruin everything that he'd put in place with Hershel.

"Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane calmly withdrew his service revolver and swiftly fired three rounds into the female Walker.

"No! Stop it!"

"That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?" Shane pumped another couple of rounds into the Walker; "That's its heart and its lungs, why is it still coming?"

"Shane, that's enough."

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." Shane walked straight up to the Walker and fired another round; only this time directly into the head, causing Hershel to stumble as the pole he was still holding onto went suddenly slack. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough!" Shane's face was red with anger as he paced up and down in front of the barn. "Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now, if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." He whirled around and raced toward the barn.

"Take the snare pole. Hershel, take the snare pole? Hershel, listen to me, man, please. Take it now." Rick yelled at Hershel to grab hold of the remaining snare pole so that he could prevent Shane from breaking the latch securing the barn doors. "Hershel! TAKE IT!" Hershel was in a complete state of shock still on his knees in the dirt where he had fallen after Shane had taken the Walker he was leading down. Rick looked over to where Shane was pounding at the padlock with a pick axe.

"No, Shane. Do not do this, brother. Please!"

"Don't do it!" Glenn shouted as Shane continued to hammer the pick axe against the door.

"Rick!" Shouted Lori, cradling Carl close to her body.

"Please!" Rick screamed out as Shane ripped off the wooden bar from the door and started pounding with his fists.

"Come on. Come on, we're out here."

"This is not the way! Please!" Shane pounded a couple of times and then stood back, raising his weapon. Lori took a couple of steps back, holding onto Carl firmly.

"Get behind me, don't look baby."

The Walkers pushed through the half open doors of the barn, snarling and growling as they stumbled out into the light. Andrea ran over to take position at Shane's side and flicked off the safety of her weapon. Realising that they no longer had any choice in the matter, Daryl and T-Dog reluctantly joined Shane and soon the yard was filled with the sounds of rounds popping off and the body count started to rise.

"Maggie?" Glenn questioned softly and she turned around from where she was standing behind Hershel and tearfully nodded her head.

"It's okay." He ran toward Daryl and started firing into the Walkers; knowing that any second Maggie's Stepmom, Annette and Step-brother, Shawn would be emerging from the confines of the barn.

"Stay back!" Rick yelled at his son as Carl went to get closer to the action; Lori pulled him to the ground as more and more Walkers emerged into the midst of the gunfire. Finally it was quiet again and the group slowly lowered their weapons. The tension drained away until only the sounds of Beth quietly sobbing into Jimmy's chest could be heard.

"Aaarggghhh…." The soft snarling moan from within the barn had everyone whirling around. The door creaked eerily as a set of pale fingers wrapped around the edge of the door and pushed it open. A small pair of feet emerging from the shadows were the first thing that captured the group's attention and a garbled scream from Carol had her running toward the barn from the back of the group.

"SOPHIA….!"

Daryl dropped his weapons as he lunged forward to grab Carol, pulling her back against his chest and falling with her to the ground.

"Carol, stop! It ain't her! Look, it ain't Sophia." He whispered into her hair over and over again, as he held her writhing body captive.

"My baby, Daryl. My baby." Carol sobbed against his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he forced her to confront the Walker emerging from the barn.

"It's that Morales girl, Eliza…guess they never made it to Birmingham." Glenn whispered in shock as the group stared in silence at the small Walker; everyone gasped as stumbling out behind came little Luis as well. Daryl sat with Carol in his arms, rubbing his hand up and down her arm in an effort to soothe her savage tears. Lori cradled a crying Carl in her arms and was murmuring over and over into his ear - "Don't look, don't look."

Shane, Andrea and T-Dog were frozen in place, unable to shoot having also recognised the two small figures that emerged into the sunlight. Rick slowly stepped forward and drew back the hammer on his Python. BAM! BAM! And then there was silence…

Carol wrenched herself out of Daryl's arms and ran crying toward the camp; it may not have been her daughter in that barn but it only meant that she was still out there somewhere. Beth walked slowly over to the bodies lying where they fell and knelt by a female Walker; the first that Daryl had taken down.

"Mom…" She whispered softly and bent closer to run her fingers over the worn golden locket around the Walkers neck. She screamed as the Walker suddenly began growling and reaching up to tangle it's fingers in her long blonde hair.

"Come on!" Shane yelled as he grasped Beth under her arms trying to drag her away. The Walker's grimy hands were clutching at Beth's clothing in an attempt to draw her closer. "Pull her away, puller her away!" Rick, Jimmy, and Maggie ran over to grab onto Beth's body and the passed her onto Hershel. T-Dog raced over and stomped his foot on the Walker's head, and Andrea grabbed hold of a scythe piercing it through the brain stem in one swift move.

"Get him off my land!" Hershel passed Beth into Patricia's waiting arms and addressed Rick. "I mean it, off my land." With those final words, he, Maggie and Patricia led a crying Beth over to the farmhouse, closing the door firmly behind them.

"What the Hell were you thinking, Shane?"

"He knew! He knew those were kids in that barn! What if Sophia had been in there? Daryl almost did looking for her and she coulda been in there all along!"

"He didn't know. He's not like that. He opened his home to us."

"Put us all in danger. Man, he kept a barn full of Walkers."

"So you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family?"

"His family's dead, Rick."

"Well, he doesn't believe that. He thinks that you just murdered them in cold blood."

"No, man, I don't care what he thinks."

"I was handling it, brother. I was handling it and you just…"

"You had us out in those woods looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was probably dead!"

"Well, I don't believe that. Just because the two Morales kids were in the barn doesn't mean that Sophia couldn't have made it."  
"Rick, those two kids had both their parents looking out for them and they still got bit!" Shane scoffed at Rick and stormed off out into the fields to cool off.

Lori and Carl were talking quietly just in front of the barn and she could see the toll that the shooting had taken on the youngster. "Dale?" She called over, and the older man looked up, face ravaged by pain and anguish.

"Yeah?"

"Could you take Carl up to the house?" Lori asked and ruffled Carl's hair. "I want you to rest."

"Okay." Dale placed an arm around the boy's shoulders and together they walked up to the farmhouse.

"Hey, you dropped that." Rick gently placed the sheriff's hat on top of his son's head. It had fallen off during the melee and Carl had been too shocked to notice. Rick watched his son enter the farmhouse and then turned back to survey the mess in front of the barn.

"You want us to start burying?" T-Dog looked over at Rick, waiting for confirmation. Andrea sighed and hooked a finger through the loops of her denims.

"We need a service. Miranda would want that."

"Yeah, we all want that."

Lori rose to her feet and looked over at Rick for guidance, he remained silent so she made the decision for them all. "Let's dig a grave for Eliza and Luis, Annette and Shawn…." She scanned the area and then pointed at a sheltered grove near the edge of the property. "Over by those trees. And we'll need a truck to move the bodies."

"I'll get the keys." Jimmy offered and Shane laid a hand on his arm and set off instead.

"I got the truck."

"And the others? That's a lot of digging." Jimmy looked over at the bodies strewn around, there had to be at least twenty five at the least.

"We bury the ones we love and we burn the rest." Andrea stated simply and Rick nodded slightly in agreement.

"Let's get to work." Lori announced and they set to it. She paused as she was about to move past Rick, "What did Hershel say?" She whispered, having already noticed his stony expression.

"He wants us off the farm, or Shane at least."

"That's not a surprise. We're lucky someone wasn't killed. And all that gunfire, more Walkers could've heard it." She stared into Rick's eyes and noticed the agony held within. "Baby, what is it?"

"Those kids, they were there all the time…it could have been Sophia; she's still out there, Lori."

"And you're doing everything you can to try and find her."

"I didn't go out today….if I had none of this," He gestured to the fallen Walkers, "would have happened."  
"Rick, you don't know that…you can't know that."

"Yeah…I kinda do." Rick gave Lori one last look and walked slowly away.

Daryl stepped quietly up into the RV and gazed across the small expanse looking for Carol; it was nearly time for the service for the Morales children and Hershel's family. His eyes widened when she was nowhere to be found and he whirled around, almost knocking Lori off the steps.

"You seen Carol around?"

"No, I came to see whether she was going to come to the service. She's not in there?"

"Naw…haven't seen her since she went running off after Rick put down the kids." Daryl ran a hand anxiously over his scruff. "Spread the word around camp that she's missing – quietly though, she may just be lookin' for a moment alone."

"Yeah – or she's taken off after Sophia herself, she didn't take too kindly to everyone apart from Merle blowing off the search today." Lori murmured quietly as she raised a hand to shield her brow from the afternoon sun.

"I'm gonna check around the back of the property – there's a lake a short ways off that I showed her earlier, she might have gone back there…" Daryl slung his bow across his back and headed off, leaving Lori to move around the camp to make discrete enquiries.

Daryl had just passed the old water pump in the backyard when a rustling from the bushes had him whirling around, crossbow at the ready. He let it fall as he saw who emerged from within the shrubbery.

"Woman, you tryin' ta give me a heart attack?" He yelled out and then fell silent as he noticed the cuts and scrapes along her arms and hands. "Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah, got into a fight with a rose bush. It's nothing."

"Come over here and let me be the judge of that." Daryl took her arm gently and pushed her to sit on the small deck surrounding the water pump. He pulled a red rag out of his back pocket and held it under the pump to moisten it. He carefully ran it over her palms, soothing away the dirt and grime. "Hmm…some nasty little thorns embedded here. Don't suppose ya have any tweezers in that Mary Poppins back of yours?" He squinted up at her through the dappled sunlight and smirked when she nudged the canvas bag over with her foot. He rummaged through, whistling through his teeth at the sheer amount of stuff that she had crammed inside. "Sewing kit, mini flash light, couple of paperbacks, nail files, sunglasses, ooh – reading glasses; yeah I bet you look great in these." Daryl looked up from the bag, holding the glasses and trying to imagine what Carol would look like in the wire rimmed, rectangular black frames. "How come you weren't wearing these the other night?"

"Forgot I had them in there." Carol snatched the glasses out of his hand, wincing when she only managed to push one of the thorns deeper into her palm.

"Uh – huh," Daryl smirked again and turned his attention back to the bag. "Always had a bit of a thing for girls in glasses…." He ignored her huff of disbelief and continued. "Wallet… Tampons – always good as a fire starter should we need it…and tweezers." He held the tweezers up in triumph and bent over her palm, gently prising out the thorns. "So you wanna tell me what had you wandering off alone without telling anyone where you went?"

"I just needed a moment alone…when I saw those that little girl come out of that barn, something told me it was going to be Sophia. If you hadn't have grabbed onto me the way you did, I'd have reached out to her. I just couldn't see that it wasn't her…it was only when little Luis came into the light that I realised that my little girl is still out there all alone; she's hungry and scared and…"

"Sshhh…." Daryl crooned as he saw the tears pooling in her sapphire blue eyes. "What did that poor rose bush do to piss you off?"

"I was so furious with Rick for blowing everybody off the search that I wasn't paying enough attention; tripped over my own feet and ended up in the middle of the bush. Thrust my hands over my face to protect it; don't think that bush is ever gonna be quite the same."

"Don't ya believe it. Those Cherokee roses are pretty hardy; they've survived much worse and they thrive in harsher conditions than this. I'm sure they can take an itty bitty thing like you." Daryl plucked out the last thorn and pumped a little more water over his cloth to remove the last traces of grime from her arms. "There all done."

"Thanks, Pookie."

"Welcome." Daryl pressed a tender kiss over one of the worst scrapes in her palm and looked up searchingly into her eyes. "Carol, Merle came back when he heard the shots and he wants us to head back to the creek; he came across some tracks near to where I found the doll. Now, I don't want to get your hopes up too high; those could be Eliza's footprints – Hershel said that Otis favoured pulling the Walkers from the creek bed…"

"Just promise me that you'll be careful and you won't overstrain yourself." Carol knew that he was expecting her to tell him not to go, but after all of the events of the day she just couldn't bring herself to.

"I'm always careful and we're gonna take one of the jeeps as far as we can and hoof it from there. C'mon, the sooner we get back to camp, the sooner I can be off." Daryl pulled Carol to her feet and she fell against him with the strength of his pull. Never one to miss an opportunity, she pressed a swift kiss against his whiskery cheek and watched him blush. He pulled away slightly, but only far enough so that he could sling an arm over her shoulder and tuck her head into the crook of his neck. Pressed against his side, Carol sighed in deep contentment; the only thing standing between her and perfect happiness was the empty space where Sophia should have been standing.

"Don't think about it now, Carol. Just breathe and let me go do what needs to be done." Daryl whispered against her hair and together they walked back into camp.


	41. Chapter 41

Daryl and Merle drove one of Hershel's farm trucks out to the interstate and walked down to where the creek flowed nearby. Merle had pointed out that there was no reason Sophia would have walked past the interstate; that was going to be their point of origin and they were going to follow the creek back to Hershel's farm, one man on either side of the creek bed.

"Here's where I found those tracks; whatcha think?" Merle crouched and pointed at a set of shoe impressions near to the edge of the creek.

"Hmm…prints a bit light and we ain't had any rain since we've been at the farm. 'Phia did have little waves on the bottom of her sneakers like those; see how the left one is all messed up near the edge?" Daryl used a stick to indicate where the shoe had dragged along rather than placed firmly like the other foot. "Kid's got something wrong with either her foot or her leg…"

"Ya don't think it's a sign that she was bit and turned?" Merle questioned, studying the impression further and imprinting it on his memory.

"Nah – still too evenly spaced for that. Whoever left this print behind was trying to keep close to the creek, probably trying to follow it along. It's leading away from the interstate, when we found those tracks on that first day she seemed to be heading toward the interstate and then something made her change direction. Take another look around and we'll see if we can pick up more." Daryl splashed through the shallows to cross over to his side of the creek while Merle continued to check on the interstate side. They worked in silence, each man focusing all of his attention to the task at hand. Suddenly Daryl squinted and whistled over to his brother. Merle raised his head at the sound and jogged over to where Daryl was crouched over where the natural bank of the creek started to recede into the woodland.

"Tell me if that ain't the same footprint…" Daryl pointed one of his arrows at a small footprint and Merle could see the arrow shaking slightly in his brother's hand. Merle focused his gaze on where the print on the light stone stood out, what made the hair on the back of his neck stand up was the fact that the print was only visible on the stone due to the fact that it was a light rusty colour; which only meant that the person wearing the shoe had either stepped through a puddle of blood or was injured themselves.

"Yeah…that's the same one. Let's see what else we can find up here. Don't know why I didn't pick up any of the tracks over on the other side – she couldn't have jumped way across here."

"That's 'cause she was carried…" Daryl murmured having just spotted another set of impressions just to the side of the stones. "Must have carried her across; maybe leaping from stone to stone and set her down here." A rustling in the shrubs just ahead of them had him reaching for his cross bow. "I'd say female, probably around 120 pounds and oh, about 6 feet 1…"

"How can you be so sure?" Merle didn't look up from where he was frowning over the bloody shoeprint."

"'Cause she's standing right behind you." Daryl's dry comment had Merle whirling around from a crouched position and nearly falling back into the creek. The woman in question drew out her Katana blade and held it poised over Merle's neck.

"What's your interest in the girl?" Her voice was low and smooth as she demanded answers. The only people that she'd come across lately were the type that were only looking for little girls for nefarious reasons and they hadn't lived long enough to answer any of her questions.

"We had a little girl in our group that went missing around a week ago, Sophia was her name. I found her doll in the creek bed a couple of days ago; nearly broke my neck trying to get it back to her Momma." Daryl answered her questions quietly and calmly; if ever there was a woman on edge this was it.

"What's taken you so long to find her?" The woman asked again distain colouring every word.

"We picked up her tracks and then lost them again. There have been…issues within the group as to whether we should continue looking; most have written her off for dead."

"But not you two. Why?" She looked between the two men. "Why?" She asked again. Merle spoke up this time.

"That little girl didn't ask to get lost, some might have written her off but she's already been through enough in her life. Me and ma brother are just gonna keep lookin' until we find her. Her Momma deserves to know either way." His answer seemed to satisfy the woman as she slid her sword back into its sheath and leant down to pull Merle to his feet. She turned around and started to stride back the way she came; she stopped when she reached the banks of the creek to look back over her shoulder.

"Well, are you coming or not?"

"Comin' where exactly?" Daryl asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the tall black woman tossing her dreadlocks.

"To fetch the girl, stupid." The woman spun on her heel and started moving swiftly through the bushes. Daryl and Merle looked at each other for a second, before scrambling after her.


	42. Chapter 42

"Name's Michonne." The woman said after a while and looked over her shoulder to see whether they were keeping up.

"Merle, that's Daryl." Merle pointed to his chest and tossed his head over at his brother. Michonne nodded over at Daryl and he grunted in response.

"Came across the girl a few days ago, in a pretty bad way. No, not bit." She hastened to add, as she saw how tense the brother's looked at her words. "She'd taken a tumble into the creek bed and gashed her arm; might be broken, I'm no doctor so I can't tell. The smell of the blood attracted a couple of Walkers, but I took them down before they could touch her."

"Thank you for that." Merle stated and Michonne nodded again before picking up the tale once more.

"She must've hit her head on a few of the rocks on the way down as she's been in and out of it ever since then. She's a bit more lucid today, which is why I came out hoping to catch a bite to eat. I've patched her up best I could but there's signs that the arm is infected." Michonne finished her story and suddenly crouched down to remove what looked to be an evergreen bush from where it had sprouted next to an exposed Oak root. Daryl crouched next to her and saw that the bush was only camouflage; put there to hide the small cavern underneath the tree. What he saw huddled at the far end nearly brought tears to his eyes; the unmistakeable, rainbow t-shirt wearing form of Sophia.

"Hey, sweet pea. How ya doin'?" His low, familiar gravelly voice roused Sophia from her drowsy state and she blinked hard in disbelief.

"How…? I…" Tears streamed down to mingle with the grime on her dirty face and she started to crawl out of the small space, anxious to get to him. Daryl half crawled into the narrow space and met her halfway dragging her into his arms and petting her hair as she cried into his shirt.

"It's alright, sweet pea, I've got ya. No need to cry anymore." Daryl crawled from the tree root and sat back against the trunk with Sophia draped across his lap.

"She his kid?" Michonne gestured over to where Daryl was using his red rag to mop up the little girl's tears and rubbing her back soothingly.

"Daryl? Nah…we only met her and her Momma a couple months ago. Daryl seemed to take to the two of them straight away though, wouldn't be surprised if he wanted the job though; now that her asshole of a husband is out of the way." Merle looked over at his brother and saw that Daryl's eyes were red rimmed with unshed tears. "Hey, sweet pea! Got a hug for your uncle Merle?" He crossed over and slowly knelt down beside the still crying little girl.

"Mr. Merle! You found me, I thought that no one would ever find me. I was so scared!"

"Hush now, angel. Don't take on so, didn't I tell you that me and Daryl were always gonna look out for you. I've been out searching for you every day, Daryl even found your doll a couple of days ago; hurt himself pretty bad trying to get it back to your Momma just so that she could have something of yours to hold onto until we got you back to her." Merle carefully lifted Sophia across from Daryl's lap and onto his own; he'd seen how pale his brother had gotten during their trek here and knew that his side had to be aching something fierce. Daryl nodded in thanks and gingerly got to his feet; pressing one hand to his side as he did so.

"We gotta get ya back to the farm where we're stayin', got an old doc there that will soon patch up yer leg and make it as good as new. Fixed up Daryl and Carl, too." Merle murmured to Sophia as he tried to brush her matted hair away from her eyes.

"What happened to Carl?" Sophia asked anxiously, hoping that her friend was okay.  
"Never mind that now, sweet pea. You just rest up here for a bit while I go and see what Daryl and Michonne have planned." Merle eased Sophia down to the ground, concern grew in his eyes when he noticed how swollen and puffy the wound was on her arm.

Michonne and Daryl were talking over the best way to get back to the farm from where they were presently; should they head out on foot or go back to the truck left at the interstate?

"One of us will need to carry Sophia. She's in no condition to walk – her arm maybe broken; she had a pretty bad sprain to her ankle and there's the concussion on top of that. Hershel's farm is about three miles south of here and the interstate is only about a mile. I think we should head for the truck."

"I'm with ya, brother. Yer shouldn't even be out here in the first place with those busted ribs; ya'd never make it three miles by foot, not in this heat." Merle nudged Daryl's shoulder as he came to stand alongside him and both men turned identical expressions toward Michonne.

"Very well, the interstate then…SOPHIA!" Michonne's scream had Merle whirling around to see two Walkers about to clamp their teeth into Sophia's shoulder. He threw his body over the screaming girl, thrusting his hand between the gaping jaws and her delicate flesh.

"MERLE!" Daryl screamed out as he drew an arrow from his quiver and sent it flying straight in one of the Walker's eye sockets. "How the fuck didn't we hear them comin'?" He yelled out to Michonne, who was frozen in place.

"Fuck! Don't worry about me, get Sophia outta here! Take her! Go!" Merle screamed as the second Walker clamped it jaws harder around his hand, tearing his fingers off with its bite.

Daryl dragged Sophia out from under his brother and pressed her head into his shoulder. "Don't look, sweet pea. Just keep looking at me, that's right. Keep those pretty eyes looking at me." Daryl saw Michonne leap into action and swiftly dispatch the second Walker chomping on Merle's fingers. "What are ya waiting for, 'lil brother? Get the kid back to her mother!" Merle shouted across at Daryl gesturing for him to get moving. Michonne looked behind to see another pair of Walkers stumbling out of the undergrowth.

"Go, Daryl. I've got this." She nodded over to the Walkers slow advance and then with a slight inclination of her head indicated that she would not let Merle rise again. Daryl nodded and with one last glance at his brother took off into the undergrowth.

"Mr Merle! No….!" Sophia cried out as Daryl sped away as fast as his aching limbs could carry him.

"Sssh, Sophia. Ya gotta keep quiet now until we get back to the interstate. Merle did what he had to do so that you could live." Daryl quietly hushed the girl as he moved swiftly through the trees, scanning his head from side to side in an effort to make sure they weren't being followed. It seemed like forever until they reached the dilapidated truck but once they were inside Daryl peeled away from that interstate like the fires of Hell was behind him.


	43. Chapter 43

Daryl kept one eye on the interstate searching for the turn off to the Greene Farm and the other on the sobbing little girl tucked under his arm. She'd nestled in there as soon as the truck started moving and held on tight to the soft leather of his vest as if frightened that he would disappear if she were to let go.

"Sweet Pea, Merle wouldn't want ya ta cry so hard over him. He did what he had to do so that you could get home ta yer Momma all safe and sound." Daryl's voice was hoarse from unshed tears over his brother's sacrifice, scarcely wanting to believe that it had really happened.

"I don't want Mr. Merle to turn into one of those icky things." Sophia gripped onto his arm a little tighter and Daryl swallowed hard at the thought of the little girl facing Walkers all alone in the forest.

"Don't ya worry, Sweet Pea. Michonne won't let that happen, I swear." Daryl hoped that the woman would live up to her promise and not let his brother suffer from his injuries.

"But there were so many of them, what if she got bitten too?" Sophia started to sob again and Daryl steered the truck over to the side of the road and mindful of his painful side, pulled the little girl onto his lap where she buried her head against his neck. He let her cry it all out, rubbing a calloused hand over her matted hair, being careful to avoid her injured temple and arm.

"I promise you this, Sweet Pea. I told Michonne where we were staying and if she can get to us, she will; if she hasn't come back by suppertime then I'll head back out there and make sure that they are both taken care of properly." Daryl whispered softly as he pulled his red rag from his back pocket and gently wiped the tears away from her rosy cheeks.

"Cross your heart?" Sophia snuggled against his chest, tracing a cross shaped pattern into his vest. Daryl nodded and replied huskily, "Cross my heart." Keeping her nestled in his arms, Daryl restarted the engine and they rolled back onto the interstate, after a few miles he made the turning into the farm and pulled to a halt in the front yard. Seeing that Sophia had cried herself to sleep on the short journey back, Daryl carefully made his way out of the truck and carried the sleeping child up the porch steps and into the house.

Calling softly for Hershel as he passed through the living room and into the back rooms, Daryl caught sight of Andrea coming down the stairs, rubbing her wet hair with a towel.

"Daryl? Is that…? Oh my God, this is so great!" He cut of her excited squeal with a scowl, pulling Sophia closer to his chest.

"Hush up, woman! Cain't ya see that she's exhausted? I need ya ta find Hershel and tell him that she's taken a hit to the head and possibly a broken arm; it's infected too. I also need ya ta get Carol over here as soon as possible; Rick, too if ya can find him." Daryl bit out the request through clenched teeth, couldn't the woman see that the girl was injured? Andrea's hand went to her mouth as she leant closer and saw how battered and thin the little girl looked.

"Hershel and Patricia are in the clinic going through what's left of the medical supplies. Carol was with Lori in the pantry doing the same with the canned goods. I don't know where Rick and Shane are at the moment…" Andrea dropped the towel immediately and started to tear off down the hallway, yelling for Hershel and Carol at the same time. Daryl rocked Sophia's a little in his arms as she began to come around a little.

"Hush up, lil' bit; that's just Andrea makin' a scene as usual. Go on back ta sleep fer a bit, Hershel's gonna take a look at yer arm and it will soon be all better." Daryl crooned a little as he swayed on his feet waiting for Hershel to appear around the corner.

"Daryl? Who do we have here, then?" Hershel's quiet drawl from the corridor had Daryl blinking up slowly, he'd almost lulled himself to sleep at the same time as Sophia.

"This is Sophia, Carol's little girl; found her up by the creek a few hours ago. Bumped her head and the girl's got a gash on her arm that looks like it's infected; might be broken as well." Daryl followed Hershel down the hallway and into a very familiar looking bedroom. He went to lay the girl down onto the bed but she whimpered in his arms, and clung all the tighter.

"You think you can keep holding her while I give her a quick examination?" Hershel asked the hunter, doubt colouring his tone. He'd observed the redneck's behaviour over the last couple of weeks, and apart from his brother didn't seem to tolerate touch from others. The only reason he'd been able to stitch him up after his fall off the horse was because Daryl had been partially unconscious at the time.

"Holding her right now, ain't I?" Daryl commented as he sat down on the edge of the bed and loosened his hold on Sophia a little. Hershel hid a slight smile as the little girl grumbled in her sleep and immediately started to burrow into the other man once more. A flurry of activity from outside the door had them both looking up to see a tearful Carol rushing into the room, ready to greet her daughter. She gasped as she saw the frail looking Sophia slumped in Daryl's embrace and Hershel rose up from the bed to grasp her by the arms.

"Relax, Carol. Sophia's just exhausted from her ordeal, that's all. We're having a little trouble getting her to let go of Daryl at the moment, so I'm trying to examine her without waking her up."

"Oh…" Carol held a trembling hand up to her lips as she tried to stem the tears from falling from her lashes. Daryl shifted Sophia on his lap and held out a free hand to invite Carol to take a seat next to him on the bed so that she could remain close to her daughter. All three of them smiled a little as Sophia gave another quiet grumble at Daryl's movement.

"Now, where was I?" Hershel pulled a chair closer to the edge of the bed and shone a penlight over Sophia's face and temple. "This graze is a couple of days old; was she coherent at all when you first found her, Daryl?"

"Yeah, she was talkin' and laughin'. We didn't find her on our own, a woman with a sword came across her lying near the creek a few days ago. She said that Sophia slipped in and out of consciousness for about a day and a half; said that she was more worried about her arm though."

"You found another woman? Where is she now?" Hershel looked up from where he was gently cleaning the large gash on Sophia's arm, frowning at the red and puffy incision.

"Name's Michonne, she stayed behind at the creek…with Merle. He got bit, doc." Daryl struggled to form the whole sentence, feeling his throat tighten as he forced the words past the lump in his throat.

"Daryl, no!" Carol pressed her head against his shoulder, shuddering with tears. Daryl stretched out his arm, fumbling a little as he reached out to clasp her hand.

"Michonne and I were talkin' about how we were gonna get back to tha farm when all of the sudden we heard Merle scream. He and Sweet Pea were sitting against a tree and a Walker just lunged for her shoulder; Merle let the Walker bite him instead of Sophia – they bit his hand off, Carol." Daryl shuddered in recollection and felt the hot sting of tears prick behind his eyes. "I grabbed Sophia and started running for the truck; Michonne said that she would stay behind and take care of the Walkers – and Merle."

"I am so very sorry, Daryl. I know how much your brother meant to you." Hershel risked patting the younger man on the shoulder and was very surprised when Daryl didn't flinch or move away, he simply nodded and wrapped his hand firmer around Carol's hand even tighter and pulled Sophia closer into his chest.

"He did it for Sophia, he said that I had ta git her home to her Momma; so I did."

"Thank you, Daryl." Carol whispered against his shoulder and he turned his head slightly to brush his lips against her forehead.

"'S okay."

Hershel felt as though he were intruding on a very private moment but didn't feel he could leave Sophia untreated for very much longer. He cleared his throat slightly and shifted on his chair.

"This gash is going to need deep cleaning, and stitches. It is definitely broken but with the stitches I'm going to have to rig up some type of open cast until they are ready to come out. It's going to hurt, and it's not going to be pretty. Carol, I want to put her under completely if that's okay with you, I don't want her to have to suffer through this." Hershel looked over at Carol for approval and rose to his feet when she nodded in agreement. "Okay, then. I'll get Patricia to prepare a light anaesthetic and I'll go and get my kit ready. I need to cut away the dead skin around the wound and then flush out any debris with some disinfectant just to make sure that we've got everything; if you would rather not be in the room, I'll understand." Hershel saw Carol's face pale at the thought of what he had to do and then he saw Daryl nudge her on the shoulder.

"I've got this, Carol. Why don't you go and see if you can scrounge up some clean clothes for Sophia to change into once we're done here? You might want to go in and tell Carl that she's back, I know he'll want to see her a little later. Baby, you don't need to see this."

"Okay, come and get me when it's all done?" Carol rose from the bed on shaking legs and Hershel led her over to the door.

"Sure thing. Could you see if you could find Rick and send him back? I need to fill him in on a few things and would rather do it now, while Sophia's still out of it. She don't need to hear it more than once." Daryl looked down at the sleeping child in his arms, and Carol could see the softness transforming his face whenever he looked down at her.

"I'll send Rick in to see you when I find Patricia." Hershel promised as he escorted Carol out of the room and into the hallway. "I won't be more than a few minutes, Daryl and then this little girl will be as right as rain." Closing the door behind them, Hershel turned around to face Carol. He could see that she was near breaking point and steered her into the living room where Dale was just about to come in after being relieved from watch duty. One look at Carol's ravaged face had Dale crossing the room with a few strides and opening his arms wide to receive her.

"Daryl's just brought Sophia back, but they lost Merle along the way." Hershel whispered quietly into Dale's ear, leaving the sobbing woman in the arms of her friend as he went into the clinic to get ready.

Carol continued to weep quietly into Dale's shoulder and he pressed a clean handkerchief into her hands as he led her over to the overstuffed couch.

"Thank the Lord that Daryl found her, he swore that he would and he's made good on that promise." Dale whispered into Carol's short hair as she lay against his shoulder, tears over for now but exhausted from all of the emotions coursing through her body.

"She looked so tiny, lying in his arms. Hershel had to examine her while Daryl kept hold of her, Sophia just wouldn't let him go." Dale chuckled softly at the terse redneck being held captive by a little girl.

"How'd he take that?"

"I think he was holding onto her just as tightly in all honesty. I never expected Sophia to take to the two of them like she has; Merle being so big and loud, I thought they would remind her too much of Ed."

"What happened, Carol? Hershel said that they'd lost Merle." Dale asked quietly as Carol pulled herself away from his shoulder and sat forward twisting the handkerchief into knots in her hand.

"Merle sacrificed himself to save Sophia." Carol said simply and rose to her feet, she thanked Dale for his comfort with a gentle smile and pat on the shoulder before walking out of the living room to find Rick.


End file.
